Through the scope of my rifle, I could see a dark-suited, sunglasses-wearing KGB agent. I shot him with my red paintball rifle. I shot him again and again. Soon the Communist was covered in red paint, and was quite annoyed.

Then I returned to the small log cabin base. I got on the computer and began to peruse Playboy.com. There was a large electrical surge, and the computer was fried. Concerned, I asked my commanding officer if there was any way the enemy could retrieve fragments of what I was surfing. He said that the only person who could recover the data (and thus expose me as a pornography user) was Q from Star Trek. I then uttered an expletive.

At this point, I woke up surprised that this had not been a wet dream.