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 It's Over.

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Sep 28, 2001
 Comments:
Last night we broke up.
diaries

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We were lying in bed. We were talking. Eventually, the thoughts in my head were coming out. I didn't nessecarily want them to, they just did.

She was hurt. She was crying. I tried to reassure her, to let her know that I still love her. That she is my best friend and will continue to be.

She cried, she wanted me to hug her. She said that me touching her hurt. She asked me for a massage. She tickled me. She mimiced various ways to kill me (finger-gun, finger sliding in a slicing motion across my throat, throttling me, and a few more.) She looked deep into my eyes. She fell asleep.

It's over now. I still don't know what we're going to do about the fact that we share a queen-sized bed. Right now we're both still in shock.

I couldn't sleep. I watched CNN. I checked out the late-night updates on Something Awful. I went here and read a few comments. I did my laundry, so that I would have work clothes for my gig at the bar tonight.

As my clothes were in the dryer, she woke up. She was much sadder. Things weren't just a dream. I tried talking to her, but she was much less receptive. My clothed finished, I took a shower, and I drove her to campus.

So I have had three hours of sleep in the last twenty-six or so, and I'll be up 'till at least 3:00 am working hard. I feel so sad, and yet to relieved. I knew it had to happen, and I did it. I wasn't going to let the inertia we'd built up carry us through any more weeks of the void that our relationship had become.

The worst part of it was that she accused me of breaking up with her because she didn't put out enough. I've already stated the reasons, and in a way that's part of it, but the way she put it just made it so demeaning, so hurtful. I know I wasn't hurting as badly as she was, though,

I Loved Her. I still do, but it's time to move on...




Curious as I am... (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by Avicula on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 07:05:25 AM PST
W H Y ?


Don't rate this. If God the Lord wanted you to rate, He would have put appropriate buttons on each of us. Praise the Lord - for He is great!

Long Story... (none / 0) (#3)
by Electric Angst on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 08:15:44 AM PST
You'd do better just reading some of my old diaries, they tell more than I could right now...


--
In the dark times, will there still be singing?
Yes, there will be singing. There will be singing about the dark times. -- Bertolt Brecht

 
he already mentioned why (none / 0) (#18)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Sep 30th, 2001 at 04:16:04 AM PST
She didn't put out. Please read the article before posting.

--
Gr1sw4ld


Before being rude... (5.00 / 1) (#19)
by Avicula on Sun Sep 30th, 2001 at 07:16:26 AM PST
I would like to know who I am dealing with.
Anyways, so it was the U2 thing? Because of a concert? Well, I guess it is hard to deal with such a person...

btw: if you don't like how and when I post, don't read or rate to 0. N/M


*.avi



Don't rate this. If God the Lord wanted you to rate, He would have put appropriate buttons on each of us. Praise the Lord - for He is great!

 
Just because it's over (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by chloedancer on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 07:21:48 AM PST
doesn't mean that it wasn't real while it lasted. It takes heart to act when you know it's time to move on; the consequences of this choice will less damaging for both of you in the long run. May your only regrets be for things you didn't do, m'friend.

You'll know if you've been successful if you're able to sustain the friendship hereafter; here's hoping you can work to ensure that it's not an "innocent bystander" in this transition. If it's important to you, it's worth it.


 
Have you considered (none / 0) (#4)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 09:41:41 AM PST
that you are now single, and you live in the same town as Jin Wicked? I think you should take advantage of this while you can, my man.


Heheheheheheheh... ... No. (none / 0) (#5)
by Electric Angst on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 09:55:23 AM PST
I have a feeling it's going to be some time before I date again, because
  1. I'm not emotionally ready for that yet.
  2. My girlfriend is most certainly not emotionally ready for that, and we still have to live together.
  3. Two years of relationship has been a bane on my single instincts, and to my sex appeal.


Well, at the very least, this now makes my "No Fapping 'till 250" oath all the more serious...


--
In the dark times, will there still be singing?
Yes, there will be singing. There will be singing about the dark times. -- Bertolt Brecht

I'm not single. ;P (none / 0) (#6)
by jin wicked on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 09:58:21 AM PST
But he's certainly welcome to have lunch with me if he just wants to be distracted for awhile and have someone to talk to. *glares at anonymous jerkheads*


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Yeah, right (none / 0) (#8)
by zikzak on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 10:29:57 AM PST
You wimped out on coffee with me. Why would you have lunch with Electric Angst?

Oh, that's right. You don't hate him.

Sorry, I forgot about that detail.


I didn't wimp out on you. (none / 0) (#10)
by jin wicked on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 10:55:21 AM PST
You said you didn't want to see me, and that you didn't have a picture. So there.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

hmm (none / 0) (#11)
by zikzak on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 10:57:55 AM PST
Well ok, that's true.

But you should have begged. I really would have enjoyed that.


Sorry. (none / 0) (#12)
by jin wicked on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 10:59:48 AM PST
I only offer once.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

 
Re: I'm not single. ;P - And who cares anyway? (3.66 / 6) (#9)
by Avicula on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 10:42:37 AM PST
*.avi



Don't rate this. If God the Lord wanted you to rate, He would have put appropriate buttons on each of us. Praise the Lord - for He is great!

 
I'm all about lunch. (Believe me...) (none / 0) (#13)
by Electric Angst on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 11:22:28 AM PST
Unfortunantly, the above poster got the city-thing wrong. If I'm not mistaken, I'm in Austin, and judging from your reply to my Austin-whoring earlier, you're not.

If you're ever in town, though, feel free to drop me an e-mail and I'll use my magical bouncer powers to get you into the hippest piano and tiki bars, and resteraunts where you won't get sick...


--
In the dark times, will there still be singing?
Yes, there will be singing. There will be singing about the dark times. -- Bertolt Brecht

hmmm... (none / 0) (#14)
by jin wicked on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 11:27:52 AM PST
Well I pretty much never want to see Austin again, and I can't think of a reason why I would be there...not much of one for bars, either. :(


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

it is (none / 0) (#16)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 01:31:26 PM PST
because you are underaged.


 
well, my friend... (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by motherfuckin spork on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 10:14:13 AM PST
you did what you felt was needed. I wish you, and her, the best, be that you remain friends yet apart, or that fate should have some hand in bringing the two of you together again in the future.


I am not who you think I am.

 
I told you so! (3.00 / 1) (#15)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Sep 28th, 2001 at 11:40:30 AM PST
The sex was there, but the relationship was missing. Really, you cannot build a working relationship solely on a mutual interest for sex -- that would be like building a relationship based on comic-book collecting or Linux administration. I'd advise you to lay off the sex for a while. Just forget completely about it and try to meet people just for the heck of it, not with the intent of bedding them. When you find a new girlfriend, restrain yourself from having sex with her. Try living without sex for a few months -- that would be the ultimate test for compatibility. Think of it as stress-testing your bond.

Really, people need to get over the sex fixation. There is absolutely nothing special or bonding in the fact of you sticking your thingie into her thingie. It's a mundane fact of life -- people do it every day. It's just a physical bodyfunction, not much different from eating or taking a piss. The spiritual connection is that you should be really looking for in a relationship.

P.S. Don't make fun of me. You'll realize that I'm right when you finally find a person worth your while.


 
It was destined. Forgetaboutit. (1.00 / 1) (#17)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Sep 30th, 2001 at 03:32:33 AM PST
And you can of course thank Satan.

Obviously, you've sold your soul, and the fine young lady that you showered with your love is lucky to be rid of you, she is now free to pursue a God loving man, like me, who would treat her as something more than a mere orifice. Best of luck on your next disaster!

--
Gr1sw4ld


 
Pathetic (none / 0) (#20)
by John Milton on Sun Sep 30th, 2001 at 12:26:43 PM PST
The worst part of it was that she accused me of breaking up with her because she didn't put out enough.

Well, that's what you did.


-John Milton

 

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