I know I don't keep my word. Anyone who's read my diary on K5 knows of at least a few promises that I've made and broken. My oaths are only a bond when sloth or adversity do not rear their heads.

Despite my best efforts to truely love all people, there are those that I hate. I find myself only a shell of the understanding and empathy that I claim to possess, a shell filled with hate and envy.

Of course, the worst is the hypocracy. I champion charity, but I've only given once in recent memory, and that was to a couple who desperatly needed the money for rent. Even then I thought of denying them the help because of the inconvenience it would cause me...

Hell, at this time in my life, there isn't much for my to hold up and claim is my redeeming quality. Typing on weblogs, especially when I swore I'd be doing something else, is no salvation. It's just more data thrown into the cacophany of the internet.

I do Love. I can say that.

Some would even claim that the very desire to be a moral being indicates some form of morality on my part. I'm too aware to consider that a reality, though. Even the most vile of villany wishes to be considered moral entities. It doesn't signify morality, it signifies one's own selfish desire to be considered good. To quell a tortured conscience.

Right now I seem to have lost my previous self-awareness. This is greatly dissapointing, because I considered it my most valuable asset. Without knowing youself, you know nothing.

BAH! But there I go again, getting all didactic. Perhaps pretension should also be considered one of my transgressions...

So, perhaps I will never know exactly where I stand on the grand scale of morality, but I know where I stand on my own, and it if far too poor a position for my liking.

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Well, that was depressing. Tune in tomorrow, when I'll write a pornographic story...