Well I'm Just a Modern Guy...

I came very close to breaking my no-fapping clause yesterday. I didn't, though, and I managed to pull a full workout. I'm still eating more calories than I burn, though, so I need to get some kind of diet going. What that really means is that I've got to expand my cooking ability. Right now the primary ingredient in everything I cook is ground beef, almost always added to rice or pasta. Other than the ocasional can of corn or green beans, I don't even cook vegitables.

Now, I'm going to stop writing this entry for a minute to try and buy U2 tickets from Ticketmaster.com. (This is the event Laura really wants to go to...) They go on sale in about two minutes, and I'm using my fat pipe to give me an advantage.

Well, ticketmaster screwed up their update. We ended up about a minute late getting to the correct sale page. Right now I'm trying to get seats, but I'm not sure if I'll get through. (Slow load times.)

Nope, we didn't get them. Laura let out a loud, angry grunt when she found out, and is looking on eBay right now for them. You know, she's already seen them in Atlanta, and yet she is furious about not being able to see the show again. I swear, sometimes I think she'd off her fucking rocker. She owns well over fifty U2 cds, collects singles and bootlegs, and has who knows how many mp3s. If it was just a little thing, and she happened to have a lot of stuff, I wouldn't mind, but she seems to have this emotional attachment. Hell, she's found some tickets on eBay now. She seems upset that they're already going for $32.

Well, she just walked out of the lab. She didn't even say goodbye. I followed her, and managed to call her back to just outside the lab door. I asked her why she was so upset. She talked about how she really wanted to go to this concert. I told her it would still happen, then she said there wasn't any way she'd be able to afford the tickets for the prices they had at eBay. I was upset, and I kinda blew up at her. I asked why this was so damn important, and why she had to get so upset about it. She said something about how they only go on tour every four years or so. Then I said, in a whispered shout, "It's only a fucking band. You've already seen the show once this year."

She walked away, crying, mumbling about how I made her "feel like shit". Damnit, I'm just sick of her getting so upset over the petty shit.

So, this fight is just starting. She's got classes today, and I've got work, so I won't see her 'till tonight. Who knows, maybe this will be the end of things...

All the more reason for me to get fit.

Well, that pretty much made whatever else I was going to talk about seem pointless.

	Fapping? (none / 0) (#1)
	by manifold on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 08:54:41 AM PST

	WTF? I think you're talking about wanking, but fapping is the lamest euphamism I've ever heard. It even sounds gay.

	Euphamisms... (none / 0) (#3)
	by Electric Angst on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 09:08:11 AM PST

	I like fapping, 'cause it's onomatopoeia. Frankly, wanking is so overused that it doesn't really pack much munch anymore. You say "wank", people think "whatever". You say "fap" and they can practically hear the sound, the hand slapping against your pelvis, and it has a much stronger affect... -- In the dark times, will there still be singing? Yes, there will be singing. There will be singing about the dark times. -- Bertolt Brecht

	"the hand slapping against the pelvis"? (none / 0) (#5)
	by StrontiumDog on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 09:47:47 AM PST

	You mean, you only have to use one hand? I'm nothing special but I need at least two hands, and when the going gets really rough I may need to break out the lube and the firehose...

	Really? (5.00 / 1) (#6)
	by CaptainZornchugger on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 10:14:01 AM PST

	Myself, I have to use a goldfish. The cap to a bottle of Lousiana Brand hot sauce also works well. Failing that, I always keep a steady supply of paperclips.

	Tinky winky (none / 0) (#10)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 12:18:55 PM PST

	You say "fap" and they can practically hear the sound, the hand slapping against your pelvis You must have a small weener if your hand is so close to your body that it slaps your pelvis. I hear that vacuum pumps can help give you some extra length. HTH.

	wanking is onomatopoeia (5.00 / 1) (#15)
	by Anonymous Reader on Fri Sep 21st, 2001 at 03:42:54 AM PST

	It's an imitation of the sound a bed makes when someone wanks.

	It sounds gay because it is. (none / 0) (#12)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 05:24:19 PM PST

	Fapping is homosexual masturbation. When the person doing the wanking fantasises about a member of the same sex. I suspect Electric Angst is not actually Fapping at all, he is probably indulging in heterosexual masturbation or wanking to give it its Latin, medical term.

	Oh come on. (none / 0) (#14)
	by nx01 on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 06:10:57 PM PST

	Fapping rocks. "Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it." -- James Gosling

	Spread a rumor that BIn Laden will bomb the show (2.00 / 2) (#2)
	by typical geek on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 08:56:18 AM PST

	there should be plenty of tickets. gcc is to software freedom as guns are to personal freedom.

	I don't think you understand exercise (4.00 / 1) (#4)
	by aoc on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 09:39:11 AM PST

	The point of exercise is not to burn more calories during the workout than you eat that day. That's basically impossible, and the frustration of trying to usually leads to people quickly giving up on their new regiment. The point of exercise is to improve your body's ability to burn the fat and carbohydrates you consume and turn it into muscle. Also, "eat less" diets are a very bad idea, as you lose both fat and muscle. Try working out on the treadmill for 20 minutes, once a day. Go at a speed where you burn between 150 and 200 calories per session. Also 10-15 minutes of weight training. The more muscle you have the easier it is to burn fat (even while idle) and the easier it is to jog faster and longer. After a while, do two sessions a day. Then make each session 30 minutes. Add more weights during weight training. Don't go on a diet, but make some dietary changes. Eat more fibrous vegetables, like broccoli and spinach. Cut down on starches, sugars, and other carbohydrates. Eat more protein: chicken, fish, and skim milk. For a more thorough analysis, read Covery Bailey's "Fat to Fit".

	dude... the cats... (none / 0) (#7)
	by motherfuckin spork on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 10:18:08 AM PST

	they scare me. this this about U2... it reminds me of when I briefly attended a youth group at my church way back in high school. We sat in a "discussion group", the purpose of which was to talk about "issues of faith", and what I heard when we sat down was as follows: person 1 I really like U2, do you like U2? person 2 Yeah, I like U2 alot, do you like U2? person 3 I like U2. Do you like U2? person 1 I like U2. I have the Joshua Tree. Do you have it? person 2 Yeah, I love U2. They are great. Do you like U2? Oddly enough, I never felt the need to attend the youth group after that day. I really like the band Yes. They, however, do not consume my person. Sure, I've got all their albums. Yes, I've even got a bootleg or two. Yup, I see them in concert whenever they come around - once per tour, mind you. I've even got their videos and DVD's. And I've been amassing this stuff since 1989. Have I listened to Yes in the past week? Nope. oh well... best of luck with Laura, EA... she does have a nice name, though (same as my wife). p.s. - the cats still scare me. I am not who you think I am.

	Yes! (5.00 / 1) (#16)
	by Starship Trooper on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 05:16:04 PM PST

	Perhaps, Mr. Electric Angst, if you were to rearrange your liver to the solid mental grace, your relationship with Laura will improve. Oh, and don't surround yourself with yourself. --- A seasoned witch could call you from the depths of your disgrace, and rearrange your liver to the solid mental grace

	I tried that once (5.00 / 1) (#17)
	by motherfuckin spork on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 08:25:44 PM PST

	It didn't work. However, faster moment spent spread tales of change within the sound, counting form through rhythm, electric freedom, moves to counter-balance, stars expound our conscience, all to know and see the look in your eyes. Passing time will reach as nature relays to set the scene, new encounters spark a true fruition, guiding lines, we touch them; our bodies balance out the waves, as we accellerate our days to the look in your eyes. I am not who you think I am.

	Is U2 sending the right message? (5.00 / 1) (#8)
	by Adam Rightmann on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 10:24:45 AM PST

	I'm only familiar with the U2 songs that were played on the radio, but I'm not sur if they're sending an appropriate message in these troubled times. They did seem to play a lot of anti-British pro-Irish songs (Sunday Bloody Sunday) which seemed to tacitly condone terrorism. I don't think that kind of message is appropriate anymore. Perhaps some of the Briton's on this board would like to comment on how U2 makes them feel? A. Rightmann

	Correction (none / 0) (#9)
	by aoc on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 10:33:13 AM PST

	The book is "Fit or Fat".

	U2 Suck. Always have, always will (none / 0) (#11)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 05:21:25 PM PST

	And listening to multi-millionaire Bonehead going on and on about how money isn't important makes me sick. Did I mention that U2 suck, always have done , and always will ?

	Heh... (none / 0) (#13)
	by CaptainZornchugger on Thu Sep 20th, 2001 at 05:41:55 PM PST

	I don't believe in excess, sucess is to give I don't believe in riches but you should see where I live... --U2, God, Part II

	I got it (none / 0) (#18)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Sep 26th, 2001 at 10:38:56 PM PST

	your subject line is borrowed from an Iggy Pop song. go Iggy!