You're Older Than You've Ever Been. And now You're Even Older.

I have a feeling that intro will make this my most popular diary ever. Then again, I could be wrong...

My story got posted on K5, and is now simmering slowly at the top of the Culture page. I wonder how long it's going to take the conservative-types on K5 to realize that it's much easier to get rid of someone who's opinion you don't like by voting them +1 section. They're in the queue longer, and something posted to just a section page will garner a whole lot less attention (particularly if it's a popular section, where another story will soon be posted...)

So, this weekend I'm going to take Laura to my family reunion, which is happening at my Dad's place. It's going to be an interesting event, certainly filled with lots of awkward pauses as we're asked certain questions by the conservative and rural aspects of the family.

Fortunantly, I've come up with a list of short, to-the-point answers that will help us keep any awkwardness to a minimum. Here they are:

Q: So, when're you and your girlfriend gettin' married?
A:Well, it really depends on what her girlfriend wants...
Q: So, you just got that new bed, what size was that again?
A: It's a queen.
That's a pretty big bed for just one person.
Yea, but if we had anything smaller, we couldn't really fit all five of us when we have sex...
Q: So, you're living together. What's your pastor think?
A: Oh, I don't have a pastor. But the coven really thinks that our living together has improved our ability to perform together in sex magick.
Q: Tell me, have you accepted Jesus into your heart?
A: No, but I let him fuck me up the ass once.
Q: So, you've been working at a bar, you're not drinking, are you?
A: Not half as much as Dad does...

That's about it. I hope that this will keep us from getting into any situations that are uncomfortable. (Okay, from a meta point of view, that was mildly funny. I think the Jesus thing was a bit cliche, but otherwise I'd consider it pretty fresh.)

So, I'm going to go ahead and write another erotic story. So far all I've got for it is a name: Jill. I might send this one to K5, or perhaps to Adequacy (I think posting erotica on K5 would be a real streach, seeing as how they lack a "Premium" section.)

Now, it's my time to porn hound. If you have something you consider interesting. Something that you'd like to see incorporated into a story (like an image you think is hot, etc) then please send it to me via e-mail. I can't guarentee it'll be in there, but I'll do my very best to throw it in somehow... (Why am I doing this? Why not!)

	Heh. (5.00 / 1) (#1)
	by CaptainZornchugger on Fri Aug 3rd, 2001 at 02:27:26 PM PST

	I started voting articles I don't like +1 section some time ago. That way I don't see them, since I never visit the 'everything' section anymore. That probably counts as a problem in the voting algorithm. Oh, well.

	right on (5.00 / 2) (#2)
	by Anonymous Reader on Fri Aug 3rd, 2001 at 06:00:17 PM PST

	It's cool to see adequacy devolve into a K5 navel gazing meta commentary site!

	heh heh. (none / 0) (#8)
	by alprazolam on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 01:49:51 PM PST

	i stopped reading articles some time ago. now i pretty much just check trhurler's and eluddites comments to make sure i'm not missing any big flame war, and avoid everything but the diaries i've been reading for months. although i have to say i did check out the steve balmer video. i think i would have been less shocked to see him jerk off on stage.

	family reunions (none / 0) (#3)
	by motherfuckin spork on Fri Aug 3rd, 2001 at 06:18:03 PM PST

	hey, whaddayano... I've got a family reunion this weekend as well. I'll be curious as to how many will show, since a large part of my family lives in a small town 3 hours away, but yet they felt the need to volunteer us (my immediate family) to host it... just one of those logic-defying moments. ah well, that's life. plus, this reunion will be just me and my son, as my wife is at a coaches clinic and won't be back until after the reunion is over. cest al vie, eh? I am not who you think I am.

	Uhh (5.00 / 1) (#4)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sat Aug 4th, 2001 at 06:24:08 PM PST

	Nothing amuses me more than pseudo-intellectuals who try to dazzle people with their knowledge of foreign words and phrases than when they get them wrong!

	pseudo intellectual? (1.00 / 1) (#5)
	by motherfuckin spork on Sat Aug 4th, 2001 at 07:46:44 PM PST

	for using a fucking commong french phrase... if you want to bitch about my typing when I clearly don't give a damn, how 'bout I pay you sub-minimal wage to type my message for me? I am not who you think I am.

	As an adequacy editor (none / 0) (#6)
	by perdida on Sun Aug 5th, 2001 at 06:58:19 PM PST

	I would very much like it if you put some erotica up for publication here. It would have to fit our editorial guidelines, however; subtly outrageous, wildly controversial, and entertaining are all good things to be in order to get published here. This is what democracy looks like

	you're funny (none / 0) (#7)
	by motherfuckin spork on Sun Aug 5th, 2001 at 07:54:17 PM PST

	subtle... you have always cracked me up, you know that, don't you? I am not who you think I am.