Yes, that's right, how do you tell a woman that her boyfriend is most certainly a dick? I don't mean the "Oh, this a girl I'd really like to shag, but she's attached to someone more attractive/richer/smarter than I am so I'll do my geeky best to paint him as some barbarian." No, I mean "This girl is not that attractive, and I certainly don't want her, but her self-esteem issues have pushed her to the very brink of marriage with a guy who is quite obviously a jack-ass."

I've been really relictant to pass judgement on things so far. I mean, I got a vibe from the guy the moment I met him, but I know that sometimes my alpha-male side can kick in, and I wanted to be certain that it wasn't just some desire for superiority that was cauing the whole thing.

My feelings were confirmed a little when my girlfriend agreed with me on the situation. See, origionally, this couple, my girlfriend, another female friend of ours, and I were going to move into a big place together. Instead, I blocked the move, with help from a slow-moving apartment complex, and we ended up in three different places (my girlfriend and I in a two-bedroom, this other couple in another two bedroom on the other end of the complex, and the friend in her vacationing cousin's apartment).

As I've gotten to know the guy better, my feeling weren't at all eased. The fact that I had to loan him and his girlfriend fourty dollars for rent last month, and that despite their dire financial straights, they're recently aquired a pair of kittens, hasn't helped things.

Finally, though, the confirmation that I needed came, when the friend we were going to move in with and I were having a conversation. The issue of this guy came up, and she told me how she herself felt that he was doing quite a bit of damage to himself, and his girlfriend. How he gets pass-out-on-the-stairs-outside drunk at least once a week. How he brings his friends over and smokes up all the time, usually in the living room and sometimes with the front door open.

There were other thing, like his former coke habit and issues that aren't as easy to describe. We both lamented on the potential (and real) harm that he could cause his girlfriend (who was our friend before we even met him.)

Perhaps there's nothing we can do. Maybe we just have to sit back and let things run their course, allowing her to make her own mistakes and learn from them. Still, there is a desire to protect her, and a fear that this guy could spin out of controll and cause harm to more than just them.

I guess the best I can do now is cover my own, be sympathetic, and go on with my life. After all, that's the one I'm ultimantly responsible for...