What about mad uncle Donald ? Would he like a subscription to an artistic magazine for gentlemen ?

The thing about playing the role of Santa, is that you must bear in mind your Christian responsibilities toward those you would bestow with gifts. You must stop and think, would Jesus approve ?

Negotiating the minefield of Christmas present purchase can be very difficult. Is it expensive enough ? will they like it ? Will I be cast into the eternal pit of fire and brimstone for choosing an unChristian present ?

With this in mind, I would like to present some Christmas literature for your consideration. Some of it is humorous, some is more serious, but all of these books carry the adequacy stamp of controversy. Any of these would make an ideal present for anyone (provided, of course that they are literate :-)), and since reading is an educational activity which improves the mind, there could hardly be any religious objections to your choice of gift.

For little Billy what could be more fun than the Harry Potter Box set

Uncle Donald could surely benefit from the insightful advice in Holy Sex and Ambushed at Sunset : Coping With Mature Adult Temptations

Its always difficult to find presents for the angst-filled teens in the family. So I have paid special attention to this group. All the following books make ideal yuletide gifts, and you will not be seen as an 'old square' if you purchase any of this selection for your nephews or nieces. Glamourama by Brett Easton Ellis, Success and Money by Martin Amis, My Idea of Fun by Will Self, Perfume by Patrick Suskind, The Fermata by Nicholson Baker, A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole ( a particular favorite of mine), High Rise by JG Ballard, K-Pax by Gene Brewer, Lila - An Enquiry into Morals by Robert M Pirsig, and last but by no means least The Dice Man by Luke Rhienhart

Some of you may be unfortunate enough to have a 'hacker' in your family. Why not demonstrate your 'tech savvy' by buying them a technical book. Perhaps one that can steer them away from the world of 'pr0n' and 'war3z' and onto a potentially lucrative career in systems administration. Samba Administrator's Handbook and Samba for Dummies explain how to make Windows machines talk to Linux machines. Your hacking relative will enjoy memorising the mind-numbing technical details that this kind of book is stuffed with.

And to round it all off, you probably have a younger relative who enjoys the modern phenomenon of rap 'music'. Again, here's your chance to show that you are 'down' and 'hip' with this crazy phat dope rap video. Your younger relatives will want to give you 'mad props' when they see what Santa's sack has in store for them.