Linux Zealot attempts to get laid.

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Poll

Votes: 106

Linux Zealot attempts to get laid.

Author:

dmg

Topic:

Linux Zealot

Posted:

Apr 29, 2002

Comments:

It's Springtime! and a certain young man's fancy is turning to love. Watch in horror as Linux Zealot attempts to use woefully inadequate open source dating tips to secure a dream date with an actual woman.

Also featuring the first appearance here at adequacy of Mac Bigot, that smug self-satisfied Mac-loving goatee growing Adobe-photoshop-using "different-thinking" bigot you will love to hate.

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The plan...

Outside Shagger O'Grady's

Inside Shagger O'Grady's

Yet another unproductive use of Linux Zealot's time.

	What happened??! (none / 0) (#3)
	by tkatchev on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 02:38:30 PM PST

	You finally decided to support alt tags for images!! Does that mean your site now supports open-source ascii browsers? -- Peace and much love...

	This is an outrage! (none / 0) (#4)
	by T Reginald Gibbons on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 03:17:40 PM PST

	Yeah, we can't have visually impaired people... (none / 0) (#6)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 05:02:17 PM PST

	browsing the web, can we? Still think Flash is a hacker program?

	huh (none / 0) (#7)
	by budlite on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 06:00:58 PM PST

	Either way Flash oughta be criminalised. It's an abomination. In fact, it's even worse than the Faculty of Urban and Regional Studies building at Reading University. And that's pretty damn horrific.

	I'd speak... (none / 0) (#8)
	by The Mad Scientist on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 06:10:42 PM PST

	...against outright criminalization of Flash. Deprecation and public ridicule should be enough here. Leave criminalization where it belongs, for intentional usage of proprietary file formats in communication.

	Oh shush. (none / 0) (#14)
	by tkatchev on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 09:51:28 PM PST

	Flash is great. Not only is it a superbly crafted program, it is also very lightweight and bandwidth-friendly. We can thank Macromedia for killing Java on the web; I think at least that amount to something. (Java for applets is a monstrosity that should have never seen the light of day. Thank god it died out.) -- Peace and much love...

	sorry but no (none / 0) (#20)
	by detikon on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 12:25:29 AM PST

	We can thank Macromedia for killing Java on the web; I think at least that amount to something. (Java for applets is a monstrosity that should have never seen the light of day. Thank god it died out.) No you can thank MS for that with their incompatible Microsoft Java crap. Sun gave them a choice after they sued MS. Follow the license or drop Java. They dropped it. Lack of support in Windows plus incompatibilities left an image of Java as just a shitty thing for web pages with Joe Blow internet explorers. Macromedia is good in some cases and Java is good in others. Going overboard and doing it poorly with either is just bad. Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

	pardon me, sir (none / 0) (#22)
	by nathan on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 12:52:31 AM PST

	But you're talking like a user. Are you a Licensed Java Programmer®? Are you a Licensed Macromedia Technical Engineer©? Our dear friend tkatchev knows whereof he speaks. It's OK, though. We still respect you plenty. Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Hah! (none / 0) (#26)
	by budlite on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 05:15:34 AM PST

	That's not the point. The point is that flash has no real use on the web. It, and animated GIFs should be consigned to the big /dev/null in the sky. Or for Windows advocates, the Recycle Bin, there to be erased from history forever. I can see where a full programming language (i.e., Java) has its uses, slow as it is, but Flash? All it does is annoy me and a great deal of other people.

	Hah to you! (none / 0) (#30)
	by John Milton on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 06:02:44 AM PST

	Oh yes, flash is so bad. That must be why your jealous open sores hacker friends are so desperate to reverse engineer it. This is typical of hackers. They can't innovate for themselves, so they crack some crappy copy to quality commercial software. Then they can rant about how much better it is than the commercial variant that had the same idea years ago and still supports more features despite the trekkies best efforts. -John Milton

	You are misinformed about SVG (none / 0) (#38)
	by Lysidas on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 02:48:46 PM PST

	SVG is Adobe's vector project. Just look at this page, on adobe.com. Oh, and Flash has already been reverse-engineered; look at the Ming extensions for PHP. I might consider using them if Flash didn't disgust me. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

	No real use for Flash??!?! (none / 0) (#35)
	by tkatchev on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 10:34:49 AM PST

	What about the most popular and innovative Internet site in the world? -- Peace and much love...

	What does the text say? (n/t) (none / 0) (#36)
	by budlite on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 12:46:01 PM PST

	It says... (none / 0) (#37)
	by tkatchev on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 01:08:04 PM PST

	...that the most popular site on the Internet is currently down. :(( It's amazing, though, how quickly this thing went "mainstream". So much so that the yellow press has already started spreading rumours that the site's founder is involved in a political scandal. That sort of thing is kind of "coming-of-age" trial around here. -- Peace and much love...

	animated thingies (none / 0) (#46)
	by tylt on Sun May 5th, 2002 at 08:36:24 AM PST

	Ye damn i hate those STUUUUPID animated pictures and 'click-me' things. People who make those should be shot on the spot. But seriously tho, Flash does have some legitimate uses. I needed to make a live graph to run on a webpage getting data from a server. g neva got round to completing it, but Flash seemed like the best way to go about it. SVG woulda been another good option as well, but not quite as easy. This graph needed to update fairly frequently, so I had a whole SOAP thing going to get data and stuff. I reckon it's better than reloading the whole webpage each time. So u c, Flash and stuff aren't always useless g But I agree - those stupid animated-for-the-hell-of-it pages really piss me off!

	I agree. (none / 0) (#41)
	by because it isnt on Wed May 1st, 2002 at 02:11:55 AM PST

	Flash is a fantastic format for animation and games. However, it could be improved. I would be interested if Flash (and Director) detected when some moronic designer was writing some dumbfuck bells-and-whistles Flash script to be the only form of navigation on a website, that for no good reason takes 20 seconds of animation before actually going to the link you have clicked on. Flash should then detonate his overpriced G4 and Studio monitor, killing him instantly. Alternatively, Flash should require him to feed his Masters degree in user interfaces into his scanner before allowing him access to any of the interactive features of Flash. Java for applets is a monstrosity that should have never seen the light of day. Thank god it died out. Well, nearly. It's a good idea if you need a continual dialogue with the web server (eg chatrooms), but the main problem is that the user interface classes are nothing like lightweight. They're based on the monstrosity that is X-Windows. Thanks, X-Windows. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	No, no, no (none / 0) (#5)
	by Yoshi on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 05:01:28 PM PST

	Microsoft innovated alt tags into Internet Explorer a long time ago. If any of the other Communist thieves stole it into their Open Source Warez then that's not the fault of Adequacy.org editors.

	Mac Bigotry (none / 0) (#9)
	by gohomeandshoveit on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 07:01:50 PM PST

	As a Mac Bigot/Addict/Fanatic myself, I would like to address the highly mistaken fact that Windows users get laid more often than Mac users. This is skewed data because: 1) There are more of them, and 2)The statistics computers they used were Windows-running IBMs or, worse, Cray computers running whatever the hell they run. Mac users are actually more likely to get laid because of their cool goatees and more stylish computers. 'Nuff said. Step One: Read my screen name. Step Two: Act upon what you just read. Step Three: Have a nice day!

	speaking as a girl... (none / 0) (#11)
	by poltroon on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 07:38:05 PM PST

	I'll point out that goatees creep me out. Although, on occassion, they inspire me to snicker.

	Considering how fastidious they are... (5.00 / 2) (#16)
	by elenchos on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 10:23:00 PM PST

	...about things like having the Apple logo on their Macintosh Apple laptops right way up all the time, or the way all the little accessories and doodads have the translucent and streamlined look of a sex toy one has to assume that few of Macintosh's customers care much about girls, or what girls like. Their Apple is a nice computer, though. Lacking any fans (it doesn't need any) it is totally silent in operation, and also has an amazingly well-thought-out and ergonomic Graphical User Interface created by battalions of brilliant gay design experts. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	yet... (none / 0) (#19)
	by detikon on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 12:19:21 AM PST

	...the folks at Microsoft still tried to copy it with Fisher-Price XP. And by the way what's this "free as in beer" crap? You guys listening to Bill Gates' keynotes again? He can't figure it out either. Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

	Sir, (none / 0) (#21)
	by elenchos on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 12:41:01 AM PST

	I find your post incoherent. Please try again. Thank you. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	If you want coherence... (none / 0) (#29)
	by The Mad Scientist on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 05:58:37 AM PST

	...get a laser.

	I just love this stuff. (none / 0) (#24)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 03:17:43 AM PST

	Do you have kids? Have you ever spent any time with kids? Do you have any clue as to why Fischer-Price products have been so successful with kids? Also. Do you think you could tell us what is wrong with the usability of the Windows XP GUI without comparing it to things you don't understand? You know, criticise it on its own terms? Or in terms of other task-oriented GUIs? I'm sure you've formulated ever so much orignal thought on the topic. Would you care to share it with us?

	What's wrong with WinXP's GUI... (none / 0) (#27)
	by budlite on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 05:21:42 AM PST

	...surprisingly little, actually. The one major niggle, for me, is the taskbar grouping. It's just not as intuitive as that in KDE. Which, I might add, came first.

	Interface copying (none / 0) (#25)
	by T Reginald Gibbons on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 04:24:28 AM PST

	It was decided in court in the mid-nineties that copying interface designs was A-OK. Microsoft has committed no crimes by copying Apple, just as linux has, for once, committed no crimes by copying the windows interface. I don't understand how you could not be aware of these facts.

	Copying interfaces is good.... (none / 0) (#39)
	by gordonjcp on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 06:17:25 PM PST

	... for example: I really like the way the pedals in my Citroen run "Throttle - Brake - Clutch" from right to left. It's really, really handy that when I jump into my Mum's Bedford, the pedals go "Throttle - Brake - Clutch", right to left. Or my g/f's Volkswagen - "Throttle - Brake - Clutch". Now let's pull out a Czechoslovakian farm tractor - "Throttle - Brake - Clutch"! Sweet. Dead easy to remember. Yep, copying interfaces is good.

	Huh? (none / 0) (#51)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sat May 18th, 2002 at 06:52:38 AM PST

	Your pedals go "Throttle - Brake - Clutch"? You must be living in a strange country. Over here the go "Clutch - Brake - Throttle". All of them, from Citreon, to Volkswagens, to Honda's. Even the farm tractors (those with pedals, many use levers).

	Read again. Right to left. (nt) (none / 0) (#52)
	by The Mad Scientist on Sun May 19th, 2002 at 11:20:43 AM PST

	Tell That To Macromedia (none / 0) (#43)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sat May 4th, 2002 at 04:32:07 PM PST

	who got sued by Adobe for using some Adobe UI features in Flash News.com Story Of course, according to you (Adequacy.org), Flash is a hacker tool.

	okee dokee (none / 0) (#44)
	by T Reginald Gibbons on Sat May 4th, 2002 at 09:56:35 PM PST

	If you'll find the patents for the OSX features MS is supposed to have reproduced in WindowsXP, I'll consider that a reasonable comment. I believe the USPTO has a searchable database online. Off you go.

	Why are you so obsessed... (none / 0) (#45)
	by The Mad Scientist on Sun May 5th, 2002 at 06:46:06 AM PST

	...with patents?

	Because, unlike some people, (none / 0) (#47)
	by hauntedattics on Mon May 6th, 2002 at 08:58:42 AM PST

	Mr. Gibbons has healthy and proper respect for laws and the intellectual property they protect.

	Which... (none / 0) (#48)
	by The Mad Scientist on Mon May 6th, 2002 at 10:01:24 AM PST

	...makes his eventual solutions way too expensive (because of all the royalties) or way too kludgy (because of fear of "infringing" something. Because of such silliness, I have to patch the PHP's gd library for GIF support. PNG support by M$ Internet Exploder is notoriously bad.

	I seem to remember (none / 0) (#49)
	by because it isnt on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 03:19:36 AM PST

	that the LZW patents issued by the USPTO (both of them - the IBM one and the identical Unisys one) expire in June next year. Personally, I'm really looking forward to using this 20-year old compression technology once it's unencumbered by patents. Oh, and did you know that LZ77 with Huffman coding has always been patent-free, and it has better compression than LZW anyway? adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	LZ77 vs LZW (none / 0) (#50)
	by The Mad Scientist on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 05:44:54 AM PST

	The thing here isn't what one is better. The thing here is about what one is necessary for reading and producing compatible GIF files. And no, PNG is no real alternative as long as there will be programs that have problems with them.

	Hahahaha.. (none / 0) (#12)
	by TheMooseMan on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 08:27:22 PM PST

	Ah, thanks, I needed a good laugh... You can (not) ignore things in parentheses.

	as a human being (5.00 / 1) (#13)
	by nathan on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 09:47:03 PM PST

	I would like to plead for you to stop evangelising operating systems. For the love of God. Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Math and computers (1.00 / 1) (#28)
	by The Mad Scientist on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 05:50:23 AM PST

	2)The statistics computers they used were Windows-running IBMs or, worse, Cray computers running whatever the hell they run. Mathematics works exactly the same regardless[1] what computers are used. [1] except Intel Pentiums

	are those the Peeler Twins? (none / 0) (#15)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 10:11:39 PM PST

	With names like Brandi and Kaytlin, Shagger O'Grady can only be a strip joint. I guess we can chalk up the moral of this tale to yet another example of Lunix Zealot's inability to parse social situations.

	Parse? (none / 0) (#17)
	by Slobodan Milosevic on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 10:38:08 PM PST

	What the hell is that? Hacker speak? In the future please use the correct english term. In this case, I think the word you are looking for is "understand." Understand

	Humans understand, Lunix Zealots parse. (none / 0) (#31)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 06:15:38 AM PST

	text > /dev/null (N/T, get it? Humor++)

	Peeler Twins? (none / 0) (#18)
	by First Incision on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 10:41:57 PM PST

	Obviously, you haven't had much contact with the American Generation Y kids currently coming of age. They all have names like Brandi and Kaytlin. In fact, I met a young lady today named "Kresli" and another named "Johhnie," both respectable college students. (Whether they have "Gone Wild" was not determined. _ _ Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

	Girls' names (none / 0) (#32)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 08:01:02 AM PST

	There appears to be a swing back the other way with Generation Z, though. All the girls in my husband's third-grade classes are named Hannah, Emily, Alexandra or Stephanie. Except the ones named Hu-lin or Chandendra.

	What, (none / 0) (#33)
	by derek3000 on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 08:45:58 AM PST

	no Aquaneta? ---------------- "Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

	Nope. (none / 0) (#42)
	by hauntedattics on Wed May 1st, 2002 at 03:44:38 PM PST

	Remember, we're talkin' exurban Massachusetts on the New Hampshire border here.

	h3y! (5.00 / 1) (#23)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 01:29:42 AM PST

	Is that Trollaxor Linux Zealot is hangin' with? Wherezzis Leather Jacket? O_o LZ's prob is he's settin his sights too high! If'n he wants to get busy with tha chiX0rs, he needs to hook up with somebody more his type! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!1!!!

	Any more stand alone (none / 0) (#34)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 09:08:36 AM PST

	Mac Bigot (TM) cartoons in the pipeline. I can relate to him a lot more than Linux bigot. I have a goatee and like threesoms.

	It's all true... (none / 0) (#40)
	by araym on Tue Apr 30th, 2002 at 08:27:55 PM PST

	I'm glad you finally stuck it to those bearded GNU hippies, they've been unreproachable for far too long. It is time for someone to step up (I say Microsoft) and stop the insanity, for the good of big business. I personally use Windows 2000 and have sex with many different beautiful women every day.

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