let us try this again: more words typed by me for your enjoyment

First off, I guess that my last entry must have been a troll. To this, I have now been educated. A poll cannot speak for itself. Even when people have voted for options in it. Shame on me for not performing the usual stupid-ass rituals and breaking away from the "norm". See! Now I have placed many more words here, and a new poll.

So on with the words!

How is everyone doing today? I am great. Really! I'm not just saying that. Apart from some mild allergies, I am in quite good health.

Is anyone out there having any plumbing issues? I know of a place with severe issues, making it very difficult to flush out the refuse. Not to be disgusting, but one should not have that much crap just lying around. You need to take care of these kind of things - its a matter of health and sanitary working conditions. And the people that have a similar, but more personal problem: yeesh... if your bowels are moving that often, I really have to suggest medication, either over-the-counter loperamide, or high-powered diphenoxylate with atropine (good stuff - you'll never crap again).

On a more serious note - has anyone out there considered the actions of the stock market? The fluctuations are endless and seemingly random. But there is a method to the madness. It has nothing to do with market value, nothing to do with perceived value of a company, nothing to do with money or even reality. The stock market is all about drugs.

Watch the market. If it is steady, the brokers are all out smokin' pot, getting all mellow. If the market is on a rise, the brokers are all flyin' high on crack, crank, or PCP. If the market is just going loopy, blame mescaline or LSD. And finally, if the market plummets, the brokers have either come crashing off their high, or they've taken too many 'ludes.

This may seem absurd, this may seem irreverent. But I insist that it is not, and though exaggerated, there is truth to this proclamation.

Lasik eye surgery is a hoax. Don't bother with it. And if you already have, you'll understand in a couple of years when your eyes are worse than ever before. The truth hurts.

Hey! Go vote on my poll! It is both exciting and fun; earth-shattering and elating! Improve your life, revitalize your soul.

	well (2.50 / 2) (#1)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 11:15:41 PM PST

	anything not derived from a poppy is worthless. so, blow me.

	The stock market is proof that money is evil (none / 0) (#2)
	by Adam Rightmann on Wed Jul 18th, 2001 at 07:45:15 AM PST

	I was using the stepper at our Y yesterday (maintaining the temple that is my body, so to speak) while leafing through Mother Jones ( 25 years, can you imagine that!) and was struck by the earnset adds for socially conscious, progressive mutual funds. The thing that really struck me was how they neglect to mention that they underperform the market as a whole, especially compared to sin stocks, like Phillip Morris, GE, Seagrams and GE. Either God appreciates a pack of Lucky's and a stiff drink, with a hydrogen bomb chaser, or money indeed is the root of all evil. A. Rightmann

	I think your analysis ties in quite well. (none / 0) (#3)
	by motherfuckin spork on Wed Jul 18th, 2001 at 08:35:58 AM PST

	<I>sin</I> stocks are going to be more attractive to the crack-smoking, pot-toking, acid-dropping, heroin-addicted stock brokers.<P> See? Its all clear now.<P> Money is evil, virtual money is inherently more evil, and their agents are the lords of pestilence, so to speak.<P> I am not who you think I am.

	and for reasons unbeknownst to me (none / 0) (#4)
	by motherfuckin spork on Wed Jul 18th, 2001 at 08:36:55 AM PST

	my message was posted as plain text. WTF? I am not who you think I am.

	Appealing to the lowest common denominator (none / 0) (#5)
	by zikzak on Wed Jul 18th, 2001 at 02:03:03 PM PST

	Many of our readers have little or no experience with message boards that allow HTML, so I recently changed the default posting format to plain text. You can override this in your user comment preferences.

	My affliction (none / 0) (#6)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jul 19th, 2001 at 04:40:57 AM PST

	I have little or no experience in operating a computer. Could you make some sort of accomodation for me? Some sort of streaming content would work well. Possibly a slide show of comments or articles. I would also benefit from the inclusion of java bits in the comments section, which would allow the more technology apt posters the ability to manipulate my web browser in ways which I cannot.