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 Super Bowl Commercial

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Feb 04, 2002
 Comments:
I managed to catch the first half of the Super Bowl before literally losing consciousness. This was just enough to be subjected to the new Britney Spears Pepsi commercial exactly twice.
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I've firmly decided that the only thing Spears has going for her is her age. And there are plenty of girls that age. Plenty. And more. And most probably aren't cheap, annoying prostitutes with more plastic in their faces than Michael "watch that child" Jackson.

My Fantasy Super Bowl Britney Spears Commercial

Britney is lowered onto a massive rotating platform in outer space. She begins to do her routine: "Look at me jump and kick like I learned in practice".

Suddenly, a massive lead plate is dropped onto her feet, rendering her immobile. Natalie Portman and Eva Habermann materialize onto the platform. Natalie gets Spears in a headlock and holds her steady while Eva punches into her chest and rips out her silicon implants.

In the final, glorious shot, a greasy mechanic pulls up in a 1983 Audi 4000s and uses the silicon implants to fashion a makeshift head gasket. The car surges with a newfound power and the three drive off into space, opening bottles of champaign and laughing as they "accidentally" run over Spears.

I think it would be most effective if the car drives off toward Jupiter.


I take it that... (none / 0) (#1)
by motherfuckin spork on Mon Feb 4th, 2002 at 07:31:37 AM PST
when you say "fantasy", you are indeed referring to a consciously decided upon fantasy, as opposed to a dream that you actually had.

Furthermore, I would wonder what your opinion of the talented Emma Watson is?

Likewise, why an Audi from 1983? Is there some significance to that? I am only curious.

Kindest regards,
MFS


I am not who you think I am.

Re: I take it that... (none / 0) (#3)
by osm on Mon Feb 4th, 2002 at 08:02:15 AM PST
when you say "fantasy", you are indeed referring to a consciously decided upon fantasy, as opposed to a dream that you actually had.

You are correct. My dreams are very strange and make no sense.

Furthermore, I would wonder what your opinion of the talented Emma Watson is?

I have no doubt she is talented, but could possibly use a few more minutes in the oven. She doesn't look like she could yet carry a pregnancy well.

Likewise, why an Audi from 1983? Is there some significance to that? I am only curious.

I used to have one. Actually, I used to have two. I put them together to create one super-hero type car. Part of that process involved changing the head gasket. Then having the head resurfaced. Then replacing the engine block.


 
I take it that (none / 0) (#2)
by hauntedattics on Mon Feb 4th, 2002 at 07:57:27 AM PST
you are the mechanic...



You know me so well, hauntedattics. (none / 0) (#4)
by osm on Mon Feb 4th, 2002 at 08:03:33 AM PST



 
Mmmm yes, yes. (none / 0) (#5)
by elenchos on Mon Feb 4th, 2002 at 01:17:27 PM PST
Jupiter!

Jupiter indeed.


I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill


 
TWICE????! (none / 0) (#6)
by PotatoError on Mon Feb 4th, 2002 at 07:23:04 PM PST
oh dear god. I wont rant anymore about the music industry again here but running two adverts in that space - i mean how many companies do you think applied? and that advert got played twice? hmmm bit of internal going on here I think.
Everytime that bitch appears on TV its a fake of her. Just to promote her fake music. Thats the only reason anyone buys it. Not that its good but its shoved in our faces all the freaking time and little kids are impressionable like that. They wont just buy the Pepsi - their short memory spans might have forgotten her but that advert played twice will make them remember her for ages.

Mum: "What music CD do you want?"
Kid: *thinking* "A britney spears CD"

Charts represent the standard of music bollox.
<<JUMP! POGO POGO POGO BOUNCE! POGO POGO POGO>>

It was like being gang-raped (none / 0) (#7)
by osm on Mon Feb 4th, 2002 at 08:44:19 PM PST
I guess the joke was on pepsi though. A lot of companies bought the much cheaper 4th quarter air time. Since the game was so close, there were actually more people watching in the fourth quarter than the beginning of the game.

So, Volkswagen made out like bandits. Which is good. I own a Volkswagen and hope to one day drive it through Germany on an epic voyage to meet my destiny with Eva.


 

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