I've firmly decided that the only thing Spears has going for her is her age. And there are plenty of girls that age. Plenty. And more. And most probably aren't cheap, annoying prostitutes with more plastic in their faces than Michael "watch that child" Jackson.

My Fantasy Super Bowl Britney Spears Commercial

Britney is lowered onto a massive rotating platform in outer space. She begins to do her routine: "Look at me jump and kick like I learned in practice".

Suddenly, a massive lead plate is dropped onto her feet, rendering her immobile. Natalie Portman and Eva Habermann materialize onto the platform. Natalie gets Spears in a headlock and holds her steady while Eva punches into her chest and rips out her silicon implants.

In the final, glorious shot, a greasy mechanic pulls up in a 1983 Audi 4000s and uses the silicon implants to fashion a makeshift head gasket. The car surges with a newfound power and the three drive off into space, opening bottles of champaign and laughing as they "accidentally" run over Spears.

I think it would be most effective if the car drives off toward Jupiter.