we took his old blue ford pickup truck - sky blue, with rust spots - to this old house out in the country. this was your typical missouri river person house with tin roof, tarred walls and plastic windows.

this didn't surprise me so much. uncle benny always did hang out on the lower rung of the social ladder, having a severe liver problem and not being able to leave the house without a diaper. what did surprise me was the cargo.

i knew something was up when we walked in carrying hat boxes. you know, those round hat boxes that you put hats in. we went inside and met with chuckie, who led us into the living room. there, in a large tank, were several octopuses.

"what the fuck..."

"sshh," uncle benny slapped my shoulder as he shook his head at me.

we opened up the boxes and put an octupus into each one. the tentacles kept slipping out and stinging me as i carried the smelly things to the truck.

uncle benny let me have two small ones for helping. i kept them in a jar in my bedroom. they didn't look very lively in the jar, but whenever i asked them if they needed more room, they would morosely claim they were ok.

this set me on yet another adventure to find a decent sized tank for them. at least big enough for them to stretch out and maybe swim around a little. i went to a pet store at the mall. just my luck that all the aquarium stuff would be off the shelves, due to the laziness of the clerk, "felix".

felix was basically a little bitch. he had a cold too. or maybe it was anthrax. he probably pissed someone off being a little bitch.

anyway, did you hear the new joke: why did Natalie Portman cross the road?

because george lucas told her to!

eh-hehe-ehehehehehhe. AHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAA!