America is still the greatest

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America is still the greatest

Author:

zikzak

Topic:

Politics

Posted:

Sep 11, 2001

Comments:

For decades the US has been a haven against terrorist attacks. While cities like London and Beirut had witnessed first-hand the effects of political and religious extremism, the US was merely an observer of events that shaped global politics so dramatically. Today, however, this has changed. With the destruction of both the World Trade Center towers in New York and the partial collapse of the Pentagon, the US once again proudly vaults to center stage, proving that we are number one even when it comes to being killed by people with serious grudges and remarkable skill at taking control of aircraft.

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As of this writing, casualty statistics are at best several days away. But when you consider that each WTC tower had upwards of 10,000 employees and countless visitors, it becomes readily apparent that no other single terrorist attack in history has taken so many lives.

We have the largest economy in the world, the largest military, the largest cars, the largest egos, and now we have the largest death toll as well. We are number one!

Clearly no other country can compete against us. Car bombs in Bogota? Big deal. A handful of IRA explosive devices? Pure amateur-level stuff. Biological agents in a Tokyo subway? Feh. They didn't even function properly. And who cares about launching a handful of SCUD missiles at Israel? Those wimps didn't even have the committment to kill themselves in their attack.

Make no mistake, our ability to attract the most vicious sorts of terrorism proves beyond the shadow of doubt that we are the best. We played second fiddle for too long, limiting our involvement to foreign-based embassies and military personel. The time has arrived for us to retake the lead.

We now say to the rest of the world: Being bombed, shot, poisoned and hijacked is no longer your exclusive realm to dominate! We will not idly sit back and be mere spectators to these acts. We are the United States of America, and god damn it we will show you what it means to be terrorized!

We are the biggest. We are the strongest. We are the best. Watch us now and learn what it means to have your people slaughtered on your own soil American style. Our death and destruction is writ large, with flame, smoke and collapsing sky scrapers. We will dominate this field just like all others.

	Boo Ya! (4.20 / 5) (#1)
	by elenchos on Tue Sep 11th, 2001 at 11:46:51 AM PST

	Damn right! For me this represents -- finally -- putting England in it's place. Sure Japan and of course Israel have had more terrorism than us in the past, but they knew enough not to rub it in. They understood that America is always #1, even if by some statistical fluke we sometimes appear to give up our rightful place to some inferior country. That's just the ball taking a crazy bounce, that's all. But it isn't a reason for some minor country to get too used to this illusion of being ahead of America in anything. Yet that is exactly what England has always done. Never could you mention any terrorism against the greatest country in the world without some jealous English fop yapping at our heels, bringing up the IRA this, the IRA that, yadda yadda. Like they thought that they owned that #1 terrorist target spot or something. Like it was their right to look down on our temporarily smaller US body count and snicker. Well, what do you say now England? Huh? Awful quiet over across the pond. That's right! You've been put in your place once and for all, and not a minute too soon! I think the first thing acting President Bush should do is fly proudly straight to England and spike an American football on the front lawn of the English White House, #10 Downing Street. Lip still stiff? I don't THINK so! Taken to school and beaten like a gong! Boo ya motherfuckers!!!! I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	America is great! (5.00 / 3) (#2)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Sep 11th, 2001 at 03:23:35 PM PST

	I've never seen so stupid people like you writing the article and you the commentor. You've had 1, yet unknown terroist attack now US is the most terroristtarget state in the world? Yes, America is number, you're number one in more bad things than good things. And the number one thing you're best at, is stupidity, you're number one at that too. Instead of writing bullshit, why not examine this and try discussing why this happened (objectivingly) instead of creating a mob. How to prevent this, and what to use to calm down the people, how to restore everything how to help people, who lost relatives, family, friends. Then about actions. Making a mob, making people more angry is plain stupidity, and this article is just plain stupid not just becouse of that but becouse of typical american bullshit. You people are brainwashed idiots. I just wonder how do you manage to brainwash an idiot?

	If I'm an idiot... (3.33 / 3) (#4)
	by elenchos on Tue Sep 11th, 2001 at 07:21:56 PM PST

	...then why do you want to assign me the intreactable problem of making sense of what happened, and the incredible task of preventing future attacks? You think I'm an idiot, yet you want me to solve the most difficult problems of our times? You contradict yourself. Therefore you are an idiot. I am consistent, however. Given that, what should I do with you? Unlike you, I know that there is no point trying to reason with an idiot -- that is what is wrong with idiots, after all. So what is the best thing for a smart person to do with the millions of bumbling fools roaming free in our world? You can't tell them directly what is wrong with them. But you can mock them. You can make them see themselves through their own eyes. Does it work? No, almost never. But unlike any other tack, it is at least fun for me. See? Of course not. You can't see. Making you see isn't the point. HAND. And now, back to our regularly scheduled lampooning: Boo YA!!!!! MUTHAFUCKAZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!! I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	I cant beleive this (5.00 / 2) (#3)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Sep 11th, 2001 at 06:59:01 PM PST

	PEOPLE ARE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And all you can think to do is to stroke yourself and say "we are great!". You are a sad pathedic individual.

	Hmm... (none / 0) (#5)
	by The Turk on Tue Sep 11th, 2001 at 07:55:13 PM PST

	The readers of this site seem to be very poor at detecting irony.

	OK you win (none / 0) (#6)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Sep 12th, 2001 at 12:57:23 AM PST

	As a Ukian I have got to admit you're numero uno hate figures to the rest of the world. We can't compete despite our historical legacy of inteference in every present day world conflict site from Zimbabwe to Israel. You are truly our inheritors and I tip my hat in respect. Now you don't have any excuse of worries of terrorism to come and visit our beautiful country....

	UK-ian?? (none / 0) (#7)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Sep 12th, 2001 at 11:24:13 AM PST

	Ukian? I thought for a bit you meant Ukranian...

	this is fFunny :) (none / 0) (#8)
	by skotte on Wed Sep 12th, 2001 at 11:49:40 AM PST

	This is along the lines of what i imagine the onion would publish, if they didnt fFear pissing off everyone. ah well. ps. if this headlines pisses you off, just quietly say to yourself that some people deal differently than other people. of course a buncha people died. duh.

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