It's all about the numbers

I'll tell you right off the bat: it's a numbers game. You're playing the game, and you've got to know how to play. Luckily for you, the rules are really simple: maximize your chances. The more parties you go to, the more people you meet. The more people you meet, the better your chance of making a connection. The better your chance of making a connection, the better your chances of meeting Mister Right, which is really what it's all about.

But it's not enough just going to parties five nights a week. You've got to make the most of each opportunity. When you go to a party, you've got to have a good "in", something to talk about with the other party-goers. This should be easy, since everyone goes to parties to get drunk. Just talk about alcohol! When you arrive, ask them where the keg is. Everyone likes to talk about alcohol; it's what you have in common with everyone else! When they see you're into alcohol too, you're halfway there to having new friends.

I can't stress this enough: don't be afraid to take risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, so try early and often. If someone offers you a drink, never say "no", because you'll have missed another opportunity to try something new and get someone to like you. Remember, they're in the same situation you are and want to make a connection too, so don't let anything come between you. And don't ever ever be shy. Shy people never get what they want, and there's really no reason to be shy, because you and the other people are going to be so drunk you won't even remember what happened, so there's no use being afraid of saying the wrong thing. So just be yourself!

Now that I've explaine what you're aiming for, you've got to know what to do to get there and be your best. You've got to plan in advance. Some people think too much preparation is bad, but they're flat-out wrong. You'll never make your connection and build your numbers if you're not trying, and the best way to try is to prepare in advance. Whenever someone asks you out, you'd better be ready to say "yes". Otherwise, you'll have missed your chance to put another bubble in your journal and to move a number from your sad column to your happy column with a big smiley face.

Plan everything out in advance! I always keep a handbag packed and ready by my door with all the essentials I'll need for that emergency date that sneaks up unannounced until it's too late to prepare. In that bag, I've got an extra change of underwear, lipstick, eye shadow, a comb, a pocket mirror, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and a little note to myself reminding me how lucky I was to be prepared like I was. (I used to pack a condom too, but I soon learned what a turn off condoms are for men, and I don't want to let anything stand in the way of a fabulous date.) Mind you, I've only had to use this bag once, and even then I had time to pack another one, but I wanted to make sure my system worked because I didn't want to be giving out bad advice. And let me tell you, it did work and that night was fabulous.

I also always make sure I know far in advance what my hair is going to be. I have a date with a cute guy three days from now, but I'm already deciding whether to have my hair up or down and what color I'm going to do my eyes with. This time, I think I'll pass on the nail polish, because the coat I put on yesterday for my last date still looks fresh, and there's no point in changing it if the new guy hasn't seen it before. But definitely don't neglect your nails, because they really reflect on the person who wears them, you know? Whenever I make my weekly visits to the salon to get my hair trimmed, I always make sure to stop and get my nails done; otherwise, I might never remember, and then I wouldn't be maximizing my chance to improve my numbers.

And don't think I just use any old hair products. I used to go with whatever was cheapest, but that was before I discovered Redken styling products. I can't emphasize this enough: they really changed my life. Before, my hair used to be dry and brittle, but now it has a brilliant sheen which is exactly what men are looking for. Some might try to tell you men just want a girl with a nice personality and stuff, but they just say that because they've never had fabulous hair like mine. And all thanks to Redken styling products! It couldn't be easier!

Part of being prepared is also always being on the lookout for new opportunities. You've always got to be aware of the people you're around, because you can't date anyone if you haven't met him and you can't meet him if you're not paying attention. The more friends you have, the more potential dates you have, so always be looking to make new friends. I can't even count the number of dates I've been on with people I never would've met if I hadn't been as outgoing and personable as I am, so follow my advice and do what I do and it'll be great.

But all that won't help you one bit if you don't have the right attitude. Every morning, when I'm standing in front of the bathroom fixing my hair and makeup, I give myself that wink that tells me I'm worth it. If you don't love yourself, then others won't love you. I don't remember where I read that, but it's made all the difference in my life. That's why I'm sharing it with you, because I want you to have as much success and find as much happiness as I have.

You probably think you're already pretty happy, but you can always do better. Just follow my advice, and you'll be on your way to a new happier more fabulous you. It's the worst thing in the world being lonely, and with my system, you'll never have to be.

	Red Ken? (none / 0) (#5)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 02:52:00 AM PST

	I didn't know Ken Livingstone had turned to selling hair products. How will that fix London's transport problems?

	There is not actually a problem. (5.00 / 1) (#6)
	by dmg on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 04:34:15 AM PST

	London does not have any 'traffic problems'. This is yet another myth perpetrated by politicians keen to be seen to be 'doing something'. On average, the average speed of traffic in London has been around 8-11 mph since the late 1800s. In this time, the population of London has increased by an order of magnitude. Taking this into account, we should be amazed by London's 'traffic miracle' not constantly whining about the jams. Point of fact. For very little outlay, over half the traffic on London's streets could be removed. The simple act of building car parks would remove the 50% of traffic that is looking for a parking space at any given time. The pollution problems could be addressed by higher taxes for diesel powered vehicles. Anyone who claims there is a serious traffic problem in London is simply angling for more tax income. Please try and resist this at all costs! time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	London is a city, not a car-park. (2.00 / 1) (#11)
	by because it isnt on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 07:31:28 AM PST

	London does not have any 'traffic problems'. This is yet another myth perpetrated by politicians keen to be seen to be 'doing something'. I'm afraid that London has audacious traffic problems. They are called cars. Once we get rid of these little suckers, there is plenty of room for the motorcycles, bicycles, buses, taxis and commercial vehicles that the roads were built for. Not to mention those cute little rickshaws in Soho. All it takes is a change in attitude. People who live and work in a metropolis should get used to metropolitan transport. If they want to drive their fancy mowder cars, they should go live in the countryside where they are not so much of a nuisance. Before you know it, all the pesky little Mini drivers are gone, and we only have adequate drivers left. For very little outlay, over half the traffic on London's streets could be removed. The simple act of building car parks would remove the 50% of traffic that is looking for a parking space at any given time. On the contrary. All drivers in London who are of the caliber that they deserve a car, are also provided with a parking space by their employer. You have clearly never been to London, Mr DMG, or you would agree with me that those who park on public roads in London are a scourge that needlessly clog up and restrict traffic flow, particularly those people who think that hazard signals permit them to stop on red routes to visit the shops, or those drivers that think they won't get caught driving their car in the bus lanes. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	You are wrong again and again. (4.00 / 1) (#12)
	by dmg on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 07:42:50 AM PST

	I have been to London and I disagree with you that drivers are a scourge. The main scourge in London was cab drivers and bus drivers with their filthy diesel-powered vehicles spewing out toxic fumes. Its interesting to note that the cars actually clean up the atmosphere in London due to their mandatory catalytic converters. You will get less pollution in your lungs if you suck the air from the tail pipe of a late model Porsche than you would by simply breathing normally. Your envy of car drivers shines through your posting. Why do you hate successful people so much ? time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	London Pride (3.00 / 1) (#13)
	by because it isnt on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 08:03:34 AM PST

	The main scourge in London was cab drivers and bus drivers with their filthy diesel-powered vehicles spewing out toxic fumes. Its interesting to note that the cars actually clean up the atmosphere in London due to their mandatory catalytic converters. You will get less pollution in your lungs if you suck the air from the tail pipe of a late model Porsche than you would by simply breathing normally. I find your lack of grounding in basic chemistry disturbing. Your envy of car drivers shines through your posting. Why do you hate successful people so much ? On the contrary, I have no ill feelings for successful people. They have their own parking space provided for them, and they generally go to it between 6am and 7am, because of their long working days. What I detest are people with ideas above their station. They think themselves above public transport, but the truth is that they are simply selfish, mean people who think a Cavalier is a status symbol (hah!) and selfishly inconvenience other road users with their erratic driving and leaky exhausts. Cab drivers, as you may have heard, study diligently for many years to learn every street in London, and always take the most economical routes, while respecting the rules of the road. That is more than any east-end "wide-boy" will ever achieve. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	Chemistry is for engineers and service people. (none / 0) (#17)
	by dmg on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 04:47:20 PM PST

	I am not interested in chemistry, It is ok if you want to become a pharmacist or other mid-level job, but you will seldom get rich from it. I have enough knowledge to know that particulate emissions from diesel-powered public transport is the primary cause of ashma and other respiratory illnesses in London (according to the WHO). As for pollution: The Saab 9000 and soon-to be '94 900 Turbo has an emissions package called "Trionic" which is so efficient that its exhaust is actually cleaner than the air coming into the engine. Recent tests in Los Angeles revealed that the city air being ingested into the 1993 Saab 9000 with Trionics had more pollutants in it than the exhaust coming out of the same Saab. Moving on to "ideas above their station" it is clear to me that you have never travelled on London's third world public transportation system. If you are not the victim of a violent robbery, chances are you will be vomited upon by a beer-swilling 'football hooligan' or have your cellphone stolen by a 15 year old schoolkid. When a train finally arrives, it will be packed full of sweaty unwashed British people (don't you guys ever bathe ?) causing you to retch. You will then spend at least 45 minutes in a darkened tunnel with no air-conditioning due to "signal failure" - this excuse seems to be a cover-all for the British Rail company. British people deserve better than this. They deserve large 20-lane freeways. Huge inexpensive car parks, and for some the 100 billion dollars that they spend on vehicle-related taxes to actually be spent on improving the road system. My plan would be to start off by turning all the main rail lines back into roads. Take your snobbery and shove it up your no-doubt accommodating "arse" "mate". time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	The Daily Commute (5.00 / 1) (#21)
	by because it isnt on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 02:53:13 AM PST

	The Saab 9000 and soon-to be '94 900 Turbo has an emissions package called "Trionic" which is so efficient that its exhaust is actually cleaner than the air coming into the engine. Recent tests in Los Angeles revealed that the city air being ingested into the 1993 Saab 9000 with Trionics had more pollutants in it than the exhaust coming out of the same Saab. This is where a basic grounding in the Sciences would benefit you immensely. You would not be taken in by this obvious PR stunt, and would realise: The Los Angeles air is heavily polluted primarily because of other cars. What goes in must come out, so any pollutants not released back into the air by the Saab are, in fact, kept in the car, silently killing the occupants. Moving on to "ideas above their station" it is clear to me that you have never travelled on London's third world public transportation system. If you are not the victim of a violent robbery, chances are you will be vomited upon by a beer-swilling 'football hooligan' or have your cellphone stolen by a 15 year old schoolkid. As I'm sure you realise, the British media regularly exaggerate conditions of hardship in order to sell newspapers - the fascist rags are particularly guilty of this. To be fair, you are only at risk of violence if you visit "danger zones" like Highbury, White Hart Lane, or basically anywhere in the east end of London. It is overrun with lawless criminals. British people deserve better than this. They deserve large 20-lane freeways. Huge inexpensive car parks, and for some the 100 billion dollars that they spend on vehicle-related taxes to actually be spent on improving the road system. British people have not bought into the "freedom" myth sold by car manufacturers. They therefore realise that to get twenty people abreast, they do not need twenty lane highways (which cause more problems than they solve), but more of the common people to get on buses, rather than clog the road system with their inefficient, dirty, slow cars. Why do people who have never seen 3rd gear block the path of BMWs? If these people were to leave their cars at home, they could be travelling (legally, I might add) between 90 and 125mph on the railways. Even in Central London, the tube lines manage 40mph while the traffic above gets no faster than 10. Daily commuting is not a sightseeing trip. The primary concerns are speed and safety, and low-end cars favoured by lardy Jamie Oliver-types have proved to be useless in both categories. Besides, roadworks are an excuse to pick a landowner's pocket. Every widening of the road reduces the amount of real estate available, and every heightening irrevocably reduces the value of such investments. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	You just won't admit your defeat, will you ? (none / 0) (#26)
	by dmg on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 10:11:10 AM PST

	What goes in must come out, so any pollutants not released back into the air by the Saab are, in fact, kept in the car, silently killing the occupants. "what goes in must come out" - is this an example of your fine education in chemistry ? If you had any knowlede of the mechanism in a catalytic converter you would know that precisely the opposite is the case. I did not bother to read the rest of your comment. You are clearly lacking even a basic education. time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	The end of the road for you. (none / 0) (#32)
	by because it isnt on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 08:25:11 AM PST

	If you had any knowlede of the mechanism in a catalytic converter you would know that precisely the opposite is the case. You can hand-wave all you like, but you have not yet shown to anyone how Saab 9000 exhaust fumes are 'cleaner' than the air intake. Hint: saying "catalytic converters" is not the right answer. They do not break down any of the pollutants that enter the car via the air intake. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	erm... (none / 0) (#23)
	by budlite on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 03:44:52 AM PST

	> British people deserve better than this. They deserve large 20-lane freeways No we don't. I thought you were making some good points until I read that. Living close to a 6-lane motorway with a railway running next to it is bad enough for me. Imagine the noise pollution and fumes from a 20-lane one! Plus the chances of being vomited on by a football hooligan or having your phone nicked aren't any greater than if you were walking down a busy street on a cup final day.

	Pardon me... (none / 0) (#29)
	by tkatchev on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 12:38:11 PM PST

	..but maybe he simply respects the "female" for the human being she is? -- Peace and much love...

	notice: (none / 0) (#30)
	by nathan on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 02:24:46 PM PST

	The sex of the poster to whom I responded. Also note the correct gendering of "fiancé," albeit without the accent aigue. Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	This is the U.S. top contender... (none / 0) (#37)
	by carrotrope2002 on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 09:21:39 AM PST

	This is the U.S. top contender...

	Ignorant (none / 0) (#22)
	by budlite on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 03:38:00 AM PST

	-- All it takes is a change in attitude. People who live and work in a metropolis should get used to metropolitan transport. -- My guess is that you've never tried to use the Tube at rush hour.

	The tube (none / 0) (#24)
	by because it isnt on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 04:50:32 AM PST

	My guess is that you've never tried to use the Tube at rush hour. I have, actually. I went from Bank to Euston at 8.30am, and you wouldn't believe how roomy and comfortable it was. I had quite a struggle to get on, though. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	About books and styling products (none / 0) (#8)
	by Juan Fernandez on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 06:59:43 AM PST

	I think you forgot to mention that there are thousands of bookstores and styling products manufacturers out there. It is not bad in essence, you could even contact Amazon and redken and ask them for some money you could invest in a properly functional brain. You are increasing their sales after all. The reason for this comment is that those poor thirty-something desperate coleagues of yours could easily increase their little chances of getting married before Alzeimer comes by the simple mean of buying books and styling products from a different supplier each time. This would increase the gross amount of men they have to deal with: salespersons, couriers, your legal advisor, the supplier's legal advisor... the list goes countless. Seriously, i think you wasted your chance for taking the biscuit. Anyway, the less biscuits you eat, the more chances you have to keep a weight that let you stay among the people who still can go to parties because they still can pass trough their houses' front doors.

	secrets for dating lots of men from a REAL man (none / 0) (#14)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 09:01:17 AM PST

	Burgers, Beer, Bowling, Blowjob. Also, when engaging your men dates in conversation, always remember that even if we do sound a little thick between the ears, we can lift heavy objects.

	The Hidden Dates (none / 0) (#15)
	by BCFH on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 11:46:26 AM PST

	Actually, there are a group of men who are fairly easy to get a date with, providing you know how. Please read here for more info

	You know, (none / 0) (#35)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Mar 4th, 2002 at 06:38:02 PM PST

	There's a damn good reason why it's so easy to get a date with them. --Anonymous Reader #24601

	My god (none / 0) (#18)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 06:54:45 PM PST

	This is the biggest pile of self-serving crap since the creation of the Lifetime television channel.

	Half-assed the half-ass (none / 0) (#20)
	by MicroBerto on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 10:35:26 PM PST

	This actually isn't THAT bad until the condom paragraph... except for the fact that all the selfish amazon links are in that first half. - Mike Roberto

	Question (none / 0) (#27)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 11:10:19 AM PST

	What ever happen to a female being herself? I don't expect my fiance to get all dolled up for me even when we were just dating. Dating is a little more involved than what this article portrays. The only thing that I really agree with is getting to know the person before you start dating. The rest needs a serious revision.

	you need to raise your stanbdards (none / 0) (#28)
	by nathan on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 11:12:39 AM PST

	I don't expect my fiance to get all dolled up for me even when we were just dating... See someone about the self-esteem problem sooner, rather than later. Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	related links (none / 0) (#33)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 02:44:47 PM PST

	All but one link is for Amazon. That's boring! Your boring me!!! Stop boring me!!! Give us some better links. Thats all I read these stories for in the first place!!!

	To be brutally honest (none / 0) (#34)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 05:38:35 PM PST

	She sounds like a party-girl-slut. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The world needs sluts.

	You think so ? (none / 0) (#36)
	by dmg on Fri Mar 8th, 2002 at 06:11:44 AM PST

	Then Ramanda Bjanca is the girl for you... time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking