Like many other advice columnists, my inbox has been flooded with material about the World Trade Center attacks and subsequent War on Terrorism. I don't want to only write about that though, it gets tiresome and tedious, something more editors should realize. But I will address especially pertinent questions occasionally.

Dear Adam,

Our neighbors lost their son in the World Trade Center attack. They're decent enough people, we've even invited them to our Church, but they preferred to go to a local Protestant church. What can I say to let them know I feel they anguish they're feeling?

Being a good neighbor

Dear Good Neighbor,

Just tell them you feel for their loss, and if it's any consolation, the few minutes of smoke and flame filler terror their son felt before dying in the tower collapse is minor compared to the eternity of torture their son will experience in Hell for not following the right Church.

Dear Adam,

A fwe months ago my wife gave birth to another daughter. Since them, she's been neglecting her wifely duties. How do I get her interested again, so that we can work on creating a son?

Eager to procreate again

Dear Eager,

I know all too well how you feel, as I have been in similar situations in the past. While according to the Bible, you have every right to take your husbandly rights, it makes for a smoother marriage if you can convince your wife to resume her wifely duties. Could you arrange a night with as many as your brood farmed out as possible, then some candles, some wine, and a sensous reading of the Song of Solomon? Until then, I suggest 10 Our Fathers kneeling on a cold cinderblock, and perhaps some self flagellation to control your urges.