The Evil of M*A*S*H

The problem with M*A*S*H is that it unapologetically and blatantly pursues a set of values that are immoral at best and anti-American at worst. The notion that a nation that is infected by an epidemic of un-Scriptural sexual values needs a television program with a main character named "B.J." is arguably hateful. On the surface, M*A*S*H might seem to be "just another sitcom", but when one examines the subject matter and the material that is presented, you have no choice but to shudder at the sheer audaciousness of it all.

What follows is the agenda that M*A*S*H seeks to advance:

Alcoholism
It is difficult (and quite likely impossible) to find an episode of M*A*S*H that does not feature the 4077th's medical team guzzling all sorts of immoral liquids, such as beer, Scotch, and (most notably) homemade gin made from a customized distillery. Episodes of the program have routinely displayed Army officers tanked to the gills, falling down and emitting slurred gibberish.
The message that M*A*S*H sends with regards to alcohol is simple: it's okay to drink, and drinking heavily is an excellent way to relieve stress. And the negative effects on society are well-documented; studies in the late 1970s demonstrated that after M*A*S*H premiered, incidents involving high school students experimenting with homemade grain alcohol distilleries increased exponentially. Worse, many teenagers were injured when their "stills" exploded, leaving them with second-degree burns and shrapnel injuries.
Homosexualistism / Transvestitism
One of M*A*S*H's recurring "gags" involved the story of one Maxwell Q. Klinger, a Lebanese leftivist who was so hell-bent on getting out of the Army that he dressed in women's clothing in order to convince his superior officers that he was insane and should be sent home. I won't get into the immorality of attempting to dodge military service in a time when the world needed brave men to protect it from Communism.
However, I cannot overlook the shameless and blatant promotion of the homosexualist lifestyle that is inherent in the Klinger subplot. Now, before the cries of "bigot" and "homophobe" get splattered all over the pages of Adequacy, let me say that I have no problem with individual homosexuals. In fact, my neighbor's gardener has a homosexual nephew, so I am clearly not speaking in a vacuum here. This said, we must condemn the lifestyle (if not the individuals), and we certainly must not celebrate the fact that one of the most popular television programs of all time is being used as the pulpit for a belief system that is inherently anti-American.
In fact, a study performed by Straight Arrow Ministries contained a survey of 50 recently-cured homosexuals who indicated that the Klinger character was a "major factor" in their decision to hop off of the heterosexual bandwagon. This is the real danger inherent with the program; the normalization of such behavior by portraying it positively on a popular television show results in a Chomsky-esque manufacture of consent. The moral compasses of impressionable young people are having their polarities reversed.
Wiccanism / Satanistism
Following the untimely "death" of Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, the show's producers replaced him with Colonel Sherman T. Potter, played by actor Harry Morgan (of Dragnet fame.) Potter quickly won the hearts of TV viewers as an irritable and crotchety (yet soft-hearted and fun-loving) Regular Army commanding officer. They apparently ignored the fact that he was introducing the children of America to many epithets of questionable morality, such as "mule muffins" and "busload of bushwah!"
In recent years, the good Colonel has taken on a more sinister persona, though. This character was the inspiration for one of the darkest new fads to be introduced to the new generation. Consider this: we have an actor named Harry playing a colonel named Potter. Harry? Potter? Harry .. Potter? I won't go into the sordid details of J.K. Rowlings' Harry Potter books, but I will say that the black scripture that flows from her pen of unspeakable evil is corrupting children by the thousands. And they are being corrupted in the name of M*A*S*H.
Doubtless, Rowlings was attempting to associate the name of her protagonist witch with a character that, for whatever reason, is much beloved by the American people. She was trying to trick the moral community of America into accepting this devil-boy by using cheap and tawdry name recognition. This is a brutal assault on traditional values; unfortunately for Rowlings, she has failed miserably. We know what she is up to.
However, one has to wonder why M*A*S*H continues to be run in syndication despite this obvious connection to witchcraft. Could it be that the folks at Fox are unaware of the tight bond between the 4077th and the occult? It may be more sinister than this; we have long suspected a clandestine Wiccanist invasion of our nation's news organizations and entertainment outlets. Some have suggested that this notion is silly and unsupported by any hard evidence. They can no longer suggest this; M*A*S*H is Exhibit A.
Affirmative Actionistism
When the series originally aired, it featured a black surgeon named "Spearchucker Jones", even though there were no black doctors during the Korean War. One wonders why the producers of M*A*S*H felt compelled to include an openly black character, even though the foundations for that character were a complete and total fabrication. A likely answer is that they were operating under the nation's affirmative action policies and wanted to "balance out" the cast. The result, however, was disastrous; the moral community quickly pointed out the true role of blacks in the Korean War and the character was immediately removed from the show.
Let me be clear about this; racism is almost always unacceptable. It doesn't matter if it's white-against-black or black-against-white or anything in between. If the show's producers and writers specifically engineered a character whose sole purpose was to be black, then they are viscious and unimaginable racists. Furthermore, their support of the failed policy of affirmative action constitutes direct discrimination against Caucasian actors who are capable of medical roles. Actors should be hired based on their ability and their genetic relevance to the subject matter, not on the basis of race. Steven Spielberg's film "Amistad" would have looked awfully silly if ten percent of the slave ship occupants were Irishmen. The same principle should have been applied to M*A*S*H.
Unabashed Leftivistism
M*A*S*H has always been friendly to the leftivist cause. It spends far too much time detailing the horrors of war, while spending far too little time explaining why war is sometimes necessary. It elevates peacenik pacifists such as Dr. Benjamin Franklin Pierce ("Hawkeye") to God status while at the same time ridiculing red-blooded patriots such as Major Frank Burns. It goes out of its way to attack successful and wealthy capitalists such as Major Charles Emerson Winchester, while at the same time devoting entire episodes to the lives of Communist Korean families.
While it is true that we have a First Amendment to our Constitution that grants people the right to free speech, we also have laws against treason. It is not at all obvious to me that the producers of M*A*S*H and the networks that syndicate its reruns should be allowed to air anti-capitalist, anti-war, anti-America propaganda.

Friends, these are just the highlights.

The conclusion is clear; M*A*S*H must be taken off of the air, by force of law if necessary. It is a trivial matter to compose a Constitutional argument in defense of this position. We are granted the power and given the perpetual duty to defend this nation from all enemies .. foreign and domestic. We are facing an enemy that promotes promiscuity, boozing, sexual deviance, racial quotas, pacifism, and witchcraft (to name a few of its transgressions.) This being the case, we cannot in good faith call ourselves Americans if we do not oppose this with all means that we have at our disposal. This is not a game. An entire generation of Americans is at risk, and we have been called to defend them.

	*I think MASH should be removed from syndication** (5.00 / 1) (#5)
	by Adam Rightmann on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 05:59:07 AM PST

	at least while the current emergency is in affect. While our elite forces have no morale problems, if the anticipated conflict in Afghanistan increases in scope, we may need to send the regular Amry forces over there. How would those GI Joes feel when they were shivering in rocky mountains, fighting curel infidels, while Joe and Jane Sixpack sat in front of their TV watching MASH and laughing at the military. I'd bet they'd feel ungrateful. So in support of our men in uniform, let's ban MASH. A. Rightmann

	Chuck this... (1.00 / 1) (#6)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 07:59:20 AM PST

	When the series originally aired, it featured a black surgeon named "Spearchucker Jones", even though there were no black doctors during the Korean War. One wonders why the producers of MAS*H felt compelled to include an openly black character, even though the foundations for that character were a complete and total fabrication. A likely answer is that they were operating under the nation's affirmative action policies and wanted to "balance out" the cast. The result, however, was disastrous; the moral community quickly pointed out the true role of blacks in the Korean War and the character was immediately removed from the show. WTFM... Watch The Fucking Movie. The right's favorite position; One of ignorance. Oh, btw, before all this jingoistic rah-rah idiocy that the right is currently engaged in, weren't you ding-dongs the 'smaller government' guys? Legislating taste is so big government it's funny. Just goes to show what a fickle and untrustworthy lot you are.

	The movie advocated suicide and cheating (none / 0) (#7)
	by Adam Rightmann on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 08:11:03 AM PST

	at football, hardly my idea of soul stirring, healthy entertainment. There is no room in the Rightmann household for such filth. A. Rightmann

	What programs do you watch? (none / 0) (#9)
	by iat on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 08:23:30 AM PST

	I have realised that most of what is shown on our televisions is immoral, low-quality, uneducational rubbish. Unfortunately, the worst offenders are the American imports that are the staple programming of the minority channels (home produced content by the British Broadcasting Corporation is usually of a far higher standard). However, I find it hard to believe that the USA can produce such consistently poor programs - are there any good, wholesome USian programs that are worth keeping an eye out for? Adequacy.org - love it or leave it.

	Little House on the Praire, highway to Heaven, (5.00 / 1) (#11)
	by Adam Rightmann on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 09:14:25 AM PST

	pretty much anything with Michael Landon in it is guaranteed a Rightmann stamp of approval (yes, even Bonanza). You might also want to look into Touched by an Angel, American football games and NASCAR races, for in the latter two, the winners usually profusely thank God for their victories at the end of the game/race. One good thing about having a privately controlled media (instead of Enlgand's state controlled one) is that we have several God oriented channels, like Pax TV, EWTN, TBN and the ANGEL network. You may wish to ask that those wholesome channels be made available to you, at the risk of your government brainding you a God fearing troublemaker. A. Rightmann

	I found God... (none / 0) (#14)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 09:24:19 AM PST

	... and lost all my talent. That should be the tag line for Touched by an Uncle... uh, Angel. You might also want to look into Touched by an Angel, American football games and NASCAR races, for in the latter two, the winners usually profusely thank God for their victories at the end of the game/race. Thereby implying that God hates the other team/drivers which, of course, is succumbing to the deadly sin of pride. They, and you, wouldn't know a Christian ideal if it bit you on the ass.

	You don't understand Christianity (none / 0) (#23)
	by Adam Rightmann on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 11:56:21 AM PST

	When we sit down to our meals of pot pies and macaroni and cheese, we thank God for his blessings. There is no prideful undercurrent there, thinking how great we are to have macaroni and cheese and pot pies. Similarly, when a football player runs the ball into the endzone, he is not boasting that he was better than other players ebcause God was on his side, rather he was thanking God for giving him extraordinary strength and quickness, and thanking God for being allowed to use that gift on the field. A. Rightmann

	Before a fall (none / 0) (#25)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 02:17:18 PM PST

	<i>... thinking how great we are ...</i> <p> Sweet

	Completely OT: This should tick you off (none / 0) (#35)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Sep 25th, 2001 at 07:14:22 AM PST

	Because it's true: Christians Among Us

	I agree about Landon (none / 0) (#17)
	by seventypercent on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 10:22:49 AM PST

	Even though I found the clear homosexual undertones of Bonanza to be somewhat objectionable, the vast majority of his work has been impeccably wholesome. -- Red-blooded patriots do not use Linux.

	Little condo on the prairie (none / 0) (#47)
	by femtoamp on Thu Oct 11th, 2001 at 12:37:13 PM PST

	<<One good thing about having a privately controlled media (instead of Enlgand's state controlled one) I've checked my CIA Factbook and I can't find Enlgand anywhere: could I have latitude and longitude please, or the local spelling. I thought it might have been a misprint for England except that (1) there isn't an English government, and (2)while the British government would really like to control the media, they don't. Most of it is controlled by one R Murdoch, a US citizen formerly of Australia, and their election campaign was fought on a platform of 1. Keep Rupert happy. 2. In case of uncertainty, see (1). Some of your posters perhaps need to get out more. Try getting a passport, like the USians we met in France last week. After all, the world has quite enough people who live in countries where the regime supplies them with a diet of nothing but political and religious propaganda, and tries to deflect attention from the mismangement of the economy by declaring holy war on somebody.

	Good programming (none / 0) (#19)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 10:28:02 AM PST

	I suggest Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Big Brother, Lost, Love Cruise, and Survivor.

	Thank You (4.00 / 1) (#8)
	by Verminator on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 08:19:40 AM PST

	I shudder to think of all the communist thoughts that were implanted in my developing mind while watching this "program" as a child. Yes, they work through subtlety and subterfuge, preying on innocent young minds. Without the world experience of seventypercent and this informative article I would have been unaware of the sinister plot that is MASH. I thank you for showing me the truth in time. I for one am going to lock out every channel on TV that could ever possibly air MASH or any MASH-related programming. I also plan to start an anti-MASH propaganda campaign to try and combat some of the damage this show's producers have wreaked on America. If the coming war ends unsatifactorily I think we call all safely blame this program. "openly black character" -- fucking brilliant.

	Comunisim is the refuge of the ignorant (4.50 / 2) (#22)
	by Well Adjusted Individual on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 11:51:54 AM PST

	When I was a child I managed to not watch that much MAS*H, I grew up with Silver Spoons and other correct series. I was, however, corrupted by anonymous hate on the internet and became a "Free Software" hippie full of ideias of "information wants to be free" and other comunist idealisms. I was wrong, comunisim is wrong - if it was right God himself would have blessed it and it won't have been a godless german weirdo that idealized it with a pagan englishman. I have come to see that comunism is just a fancy word for 'bum'. You see, in comunism, those that don't show their worth are given the same rights that a working, pious and faithful man - what is decidedly wrong, even acording to scripture! A working, humble man IS holier than the bum but in comunism they are the same. My conclusion, if someone gives you a piece of their comunistic ideology, they are bums and should be shipped to afganistan to die along side those american-hating bastards! -- May the lord strike down those who are not rightous.

	I agree with Mr. Rightmann (5.00 / 1) (#21)
	by Well Adjusted Individual on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 11:42:38 AM PST

	While I did beleive the Michael Landon was a pest in my previous life - he was too moral and correct, now that I am well adjusted and have come to love that which is moral and correct I must say that Mr. Landon's work is a light that we, humble folks, must follow. I believe it was Rev. Falwell that said that "if you must do something wrong in your life, may it be to watch Little House on the Praire more than once a day". -- May the lord strike down those who are not rightous.

	Ban Catch-22 (5.00 / 2) (#10)
	by motherfuckin spork on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 08:45:21 AM PST

	since the concept of MASH was built upon the foundations brought forth in the book Catch-22, I feel equal criticism must be handed down to the author of said book, and the book be eliminated from our libraries. I am not who you think I am.*

	Good idea! (none / 0) (#12)
	by Adam Rightmann on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 09:17:26 AM PST

	Once in a while even the basest sorts will have a good idea. Perhaps Catch-22 should be banned from bookstores and libraries for the duration of this anti-terrorist war, jsut so teh boys know we fully support them. A. Rightmann

	Perhaps adequacy needs a list. (5.00 / 3) (#34)
	by elenchos on Tue Sep 25th, 2001 at 12:09:23 AM PST

	This site should keep a constantly updated list of titles that should be permanently banned for blatant un-Americanism, rampant hot, hot sex, and Papism. This list should include the above titles, as well as similar works such as: Slaughterhouse Five Johnny Got His Gun The Ugly American Lolita Native Son The Stranger Etc. Actually, The Stranger isn't exactly un-American or anything, but it did make me think quite a bit. I know there are many more titles that could be added to the "Adequacy Don't Dare Read These Subversive Books Page," but those are only a start. Oh, I almost forgot; the Papists have their own satanic version of the Bible, which seems like the KJV in lots of ways, but if you look closely they have stuck in a whole bunch of extra stuff that God didn't write. Ban it. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	Horrid oversite (1.00 / 1) (#37)
	by Dexter Descarte on Tue Sep 25th, 2001 at 02:16:47 PM PST

	You forgot to mention the most despicable of all; The Constitution of the United States of America We will be in some serious shit if young people read that vile godless tract. I mean, it's written on hemp paper even. Disgusting.

	Do you think this is all one big joke?! (5.00 / 1) (#38)
	by elenchos on Tue Sep 25th, 2001 at 03:38:14 PM PST

	Some of us are serious about saving the greatest nation the world has ever seen, and that is why we have banded together to make up a list of the books that most threaten America. We are not joking here. "Ban the Constition!" Ha! I love the Constitution almost as much as I love the Flag of The United States of America, my friend, and while you may mock us with your snide little asides, I am not laughing. I am casting my eyes high upon my beloved America, and going to work saving our Children from subversive weirdos and deviants. That whole hemp myth is not funny either, by the way. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	Of course not (3.00 / 2) (#39)
	by Dexter Descarte on Wed Sep 26th, 2001 at 09:49:27 AM PST

	But the constitution is what's holding us back from banning these books! It needs to be redrafted leaving out such un-american parts as the 1st and 4th amendments. I mean how can we find the books if we have to get a warrant to search for them? The warrant process gives these God cursed intellectuals time to hide their foul tomes and the insane "free-speach" 1st amendment gives them the misguided right to own and sell such trash. I'm sure other parts need some tightening up as well, we may actually need to quarter troops in civilian homes soon!

	Ban those who read it wrong, not the Word itself. (3.00 / 2) (#40)
	by elenchos on Wed Sep 26th, 2001 at 12:36:43 PM PST

	I suppose you would want to go re-writing the Holy Bible too, just because you heard the Devil quoting it to his own ends? That's what the Catholics have done, adulterizing the King James Version with all their add-ons and revisions. The Constitiution is just fine the way it is. The problem is with libertarians and post-modernarians who think "free speech" means filth, depravity, horsemanship and dirty books. "Free" means "good," just the same as "COMMUNISM" means "evil." Anti-Americanism is not good. It is evil. Therefore, any evil speech, dirty books or depictions of fine heroic Americans doing naughty things, such as the President engaging in Sodomy, are not free. That would be a direct contradiction of what both the KJV and the Constitution say. I just read The Trial by Franz Kafka, by the way, and I found it to be full of subersive ideas. It should be added to the list, near the top. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	Word! (3.00 / 2) (#41)
	by Dexter Descarte on Wed Sep 26th, 2001 at 01:17:33 PM PST

	Of course the King James Bible should be rewritten to more accurately depict the true, original, gnostic revelation of Jesus. Out with all the epistles of that dirty greek Paul of Tarsus, add the Gospels of Timothy and James, and add all the secret teachings back in. The whole religion has been derailed since the Demiurge influenced Council of Nicea turned it's back on the true faith. As a Godfearing man, I feel only pity for such linguistic acrobatics used to justify a secular document. It was written by Deists who not only deny Jesus but deny as well that God cares about man. I find it most distressing that someone would so mangle God's prefered language. Owww! I think I strained my disingenious ligament. Ouchie!

	and The Stranger inspired (none / 0) (#42)
	by loverman on Thu Sep 27th, 2001 at 10:24:02 PM PST

	that song by The Cure--"Killing an Arab." So let's take the opportunity ban them too (The Cure that is, not the Arabs). And all the rest of that 70's new wave shit. Get rid of all of it. ... What is truth? - Pontius Pilate

	'One' by Metallica... (none / 0) (#43)
	by elenchos on Thu Sep 27th, 2001 at 10:47:57 PM PST

	...Was inspired by Johnny Got His Gun.. Therefore... Well, I forget where I was going with that thought, but I'm sure you see my point none the less. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	Metallica's "One" (5.00 / 1) (#45)
	by nx01 on Sun Sep 30th, 2001 at 12:51:00 PM PST

	Metallica really sold out on that one. I remember when they put out "Ride the Lightning" and all was good in the world. They seem to have forgotten the "Metal up your Ass" attitude that made them so popular though. I never thought that Lars would sing silly lyrics like One, oh one The only way is one I feel angry I feel helpless Want to change the world I feel violent I feel alone Don't try and change my mind They really sold out this time with their pseudo-spiritual whining evident in their newest tracks. And what's with singing things like "I feel angry I feel helpless"? Why don't they just go out and beat up whoever pissed them off, like the old Metallica would! They've become a weak alternative band! "Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it." -- James Gosling

	One step further. (5.00 / 1) (#26)
	by nx01 on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 02:37:32 PM PST

	Ban Gravity's Rainbow. The evil, despicable, sex-ridden subversive ideologies found in that book make Satan himself look like a mere innocent babe. "Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it." -- James Gosling

	Poll - Rizzo (none / 0) (#15)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 09:38:27 AM PST

	How can you hate Rizzo? He's the lone capitalist on that show. Yes, his loans had exorbitant interest rates (100% per day), but it was war.

	The reason I included Rizzo .. (4.00 / 1) (#16)
	by seventypercent on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 10:16:47 AM PST

	.. is because he is poor. But it's worse than that. Not only is he poor, but he has a wife (Zola) and a child (Billy Bubba) to support. I ask you: is a man as poor and as stupid as Rizzo able to support a family by himself? Not hardly. This means that the government supports his family in part (food stamps, welfare, unemployment, etc.) and it does it with my tax dollars. Believe it or not, there are plenty of us who have become fed up with the poor. I'm sick and tired of them. I also have no time for a system of government that sees fit to redistribute wealth to those who have not earned it. Rizzo may fancy himself a capitalist, but his financial situation demonstrates that he is not a very good one. He is a damnable burden on society, and it is for this reason that I included him in the poll. -- Red-blooded patriots do not use Linux.

	So you're an elitist (none / 0) (#18)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 10:26:28 AM PST

	I don't ever remember him saying he was poor. Are you assuming just because his son's name is Bubba he lives in some backwater holler in a trailer with several cars up on blocks in the front yard?

	He lives in Louisiana (5.00 / 1) (#20)
	by seventypercent on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 10:55:14 AM PST

	Enough said. There is nothing left to "assume." -- Red-blooded patriots do not use Linux.

	I bow to your killer argument skills (none / 0) (#28)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 02:44:04 PM PST

	You used the "enough said" finisher. You must be correct, no matter how inaccurate your assumptions/conclusions are.

	Baton Rouge, Louisiana, actually. (none / 0) (#44)
	by chloedancer on Sat Sep 29th, 2001 at 02:45:48 PM PST

	And the characterization was surprisingly accurate (altho' he represented a homogenized version of the native Cajun population, unfortunately).

	THANKS! (1.00 / 1) (#24)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 24th, 2001 at 01:31:24 PM PST

	Dude, that was hillarious. Thanks for the laugh. "homosexualistism", "satanitism" and "transvestitism" were quite funny, but with your neighbour's gardener's homosexual nephew and the Spearchucker Jones character being "openly black" <LMAO> you've outdone yourself. Nothing quite like making fun of good ol' American stupidity, eh? Thanks again, it was the second best laugh I've had today, the first being caused by this comment on k5.