The Reserve had originally intended to distinctly color and shape each denomination of bill, which would allow people to easily distinguish bill values without searching for the number printed on the bill itself.

"We thought the American consumers would appreciate the convenience of having the value of their bills shown all over the entirety of the bill, rather than just in the corner." said Reserve spokesman, Don Matthews. "However, we didn't realise the homosexual undertones of distinctive bills."

The Reserve only learned of the fagginess of their plans when the think-tank Slashdot published a critique of the idea, noting that a recent Simpsons episode denounced Brazillian currency as "gay", and that carrying one bill of each denomination would be like "having a friggin' rainbow in your pocket". The rainbow is the international symbol of homosexuality.

"We have scrapped our plans entirely" said Don, "Slashdot is the home of liberal technologists, the people most likely to call for change, and they have resoundingly told us they don't want change."

The Reserve has instead planned to homogenize US coinage, to try and capture the full-blooded hetrosexuality of their fellow bills.

Image: How the new US coins will look.

The new coins will enter circulation in the fall. George Washington was not available for comment.