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In the age of Napster, Linux (Linux creator shown here with custom-fitted dildo), Russians hacking into American computers, DVD theft programs, and wide-spread Internet viruses, our rights to create, keep, and control our intellectual property are being continually diminished. One would think that in the midst of all this rampant theft, at least our American public schools should be safe. Right?
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Wrong.
I've discovered a deeply insidious and deeply-rooted act of copyright violation entrenched in our public school system. There's going to be hell to pay over this once I find out who's responsible. Do you remember kindergarten? Do you remember "the alphabet song," a song consisting solely of letters of the alphabet, sung with a particular melody? It was a cute song, and it helped children learn the alphabet. It's stolen property. I'm sure you've also heard the song "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." It seems that "Alphabet" stole the first line of its melody from "Twinkle." Follow me here, I'm about to show you something chilling. Look at these two lines side by side. Then sing each of them, in turn. You should know both of these melodies by heart, they're entrenched in American culture. 1: Twinkle, twinkle, little star. 2: A B, C D, E F G It's the very same melody, or close to it. If you trace out the rest of the two songs, you'll see that the melodies are similar in some parts, but not a blatant rip-off like the first line. It's shattering to learn that a piece of our childhood is stolen property. Do the public schools know about this? They're still teaching the infringing song to our children. If they do know about it, then they're just as bad as, if not worse than, businesses which allow the copyrighted song "Happy Birthday" to be sung in their establishments without paying royalties to the copyright owner. I'm going to investigage this issue further and take whatever action is neccessary to make sure no copyright violation exists in our public schools. I've already been crusading to close down schools who show videotaped movies in classrooms using videotapes that are clearly marked "for home exhibition only," but it looks like the fight has just begun. |