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Poll

Votes: 24

The word.

Author:

Craig McPherson

Topic:

Diaries

Posted:

Oct 16, 2001

Comments:

People seem to be putting a lot of effort into analyzing this and trying to figure out what the word is.

I'm begging it's something simple like "goodbye" or something. Something stupid like that. That's how stuff like that usually goes.

More diaries by Craig McPherson

	My Neighbor Is Allowed To Own A Pot-Head Neo-Nazi Juvenile-Delinquent Street Punk With Purple Hair,
	Are not even our schools safe from intellectual property theft?
	George Lucas is a Pathetic Dirty Thief!!!
	How I (very nearly) slept with Timothy from Slashdot!

It's like old puzzle where a judge says "I can't be an impartial arbiter for this case, because the defendant is my son," but the judge is not the defendant's father. What's up with that? So you think about it for a really long time, but it's actually really simple, and you figure out that the boy was adopted.

Or like the surprise ending to that movie The Others where it turns out that they're all ghosts. Since it had already been done with Sixth Sense, you were thinking that they'd never do it again, but they did.

Anyway, I think the word was "goodbye" or some syntactic equivalent, or "no" or something.

	oh my god. (5.00 / 3) (#1)
	by osm on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 03:29:12 AM PST

	i've done so many narcotics that this actually made sense.

	Cute. (5.00 / 1) (#2)
	by tkatchev on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 04:15:30 AM PST

	I like the way you use the word "narcotics". -- Peace and much love...

	About the judge (none / 0) (#3)
	by westgeof on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 06:09:36 AM PST

	I don't think you have the right answer to that little puzzle. The defendant is the judge's son because the judge is the defendant's mother, not father. It's supposed to show unconsious biasing. As a child I wanted to know everything. Now I miss my ignorance.

	I guess (none / 0) (#4)
	by Frithiof on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 08:04:13 AM PST

	Mr. Craig is incapable of unconscious biasing...or something. And what is this word that you're thinking of for? The stuff in the intro section makes me think of the hysteria over bin Laden's messages not being shown on tv. Are you trying to think of which words he could be using to activate those spying, brainwashed, sleeper agents of his? -Frith

	n/m... (none / 0) (#5)
	by Frithiof on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 08:05:38 AM PST

	my mind careened off the tracks and I thought you meant something you didn't. -Frith

	The judge. (none / 0) (#12)
	by Craig McPherson on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 05:50:28 PM PST

	You harken back, to yon hilly land Heaven arrives, nature departs Yet here, beside tranquil yellow hills Love holds, and never dies You hold back tears, you hold life hard And never die Yea, hear bold tidings heralding And never die And never die And never die -- If you want to know why Lunix is so screwed up, just take a look at the people who use it. Idiocy.

	Hi? (5.00 / 1) (#6)
	by RobotSlave on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 09:50:08 AM PST

	This is a little more attention than I deserve. It makes me uncomfortable, at least in between bouts of twitching around under the desk cackling with glee and touching myself in spasms of otter-like dementia. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	Otter-like dementia? (5.00 / 1) (#9)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 01:18:39 PM PST

	First time I've ever heard that one...are otters really demented? The only ones I've ever seen just seem to have a limitless capacity to amuse themselves and have a good time. Of course, maybe that's what the twitching and touching yourself is about... And just another thought about the judge story...just because the kid is adopted doesn't mean the judge isn't the kid's father. (Legally, if not biologically) Wow, this is making my brain hurt.

	Oh, that. (5.00 / 1) (#11)
	by RobotSlave on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 02:20:37 PM PST

	The otter bit was a slavishly fawning attempt to curry osm's favor. Or favour. I'm not sure which. But not his favors. Anyway. Can't say I know all that much about the beasts, but the ones I've seen, be they in the sea, on the riverbank, or in big tanks, have all looked pretty addled, if not entirely demented. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	Oh really? (none / 0) (#24)
	by hauntedattics on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 10:05:03 AM PST

	So osm likes otters, huh? I'll have to remember that... I still don't know what you mean about them looking addled, since I still think they look like they're having a great time, 24/7. Of course, your net sex session with an anonymous reader would explain a lot. (That session was very interesting, by the way, in a sort of embarrassing, Oh-God-two-people-are-making-out-in-front-of-my-locker-and-I-need-my-biology-book, kind of way.)

	The word. (none / 0) (#13)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 05:51:07 PM PST

	I think it's "goodbye," isn't it?

	I love it. (none / 0) (#14)
	by RobotSlave on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 06:27:08 PM PST

	This is the most funnest game, ever. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	Ha ha, I know what the word is. (none / 0) (#15)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 07:09:24 PM PST

	Now I know that it's "goodbye," and you're angry and hurt that your "game" is over and you've LOST. You're jealous and angry, and I consider it to be very childish behavior. Just admit that you lost, and someone figured it out, and the word is "goodbye." You thought you were "the big shit," but now you've lost and you're no longer "the big," just the rest.

	Hit me again, please! (none / 0) (#16)
	by RobotSlave on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 10:05:32 PM PST

	This time a little lower. I'm so excited. (Don't forget our "safe word.") Hit me, goddamn it! Pistol-whip me until I give up the "secret!" I will never tell you the secret! Never! HIT ME! © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	It's OVER. (none / 0) (#17)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 11:00:15 PM PST

	There IS NO secret anymore. The secret exists only in the past-tense. The word was "goodbye." There's NO secret anymore. The word was "goodbye." "Goodbye" was the word. Now that your secret has been DISCOVERED and everyone knows that the word was "goodbye," you're BACKPEDDELING, WAFFLEING, and EATING CROW, and trying to claim that the word is something else -- but you can't change the past. You're a liar and a damned, damned, thrice-damned fool.

	Ooooh, YES! (5.00 / 1) (#18)
	by RobotSlave on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 11:16:02 PM PST

	You are so cruel! So strong! I am at your mercy! Forgive me, master! Slave tried to tell you the secret, but you didn't even listen! Slave is beneath contempt! Slave humbly and quiveringly requests that you switch from the pistol to the short silk whip, now. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	Sarcasm is the recourse of a weak mind. (none / 0) (#19)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 11:34:35 PM PST

	You're jealous. You tried to be a smart-ass by not telling anyone your "secret word," but then somebody figured out that it was "goodbye," and now you don't have a leg to stand on. You're WRONG and you're a GROTESQUELY UGLY FREAK. Your own plan to feel superior to others blew up in your face, and now others are superior to you. Suck on that.

	Ouch! (none / 0) (#20)
	by RobotSlave on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 11:54:09 PM PST

	Oh god, it hurts! Aieeee! Mommy! I told you! I told you already! I wasn't lying, but you didn't listen! Ow! Ow! Oh, OW! Slave wants nothing more than to "suck on that," but it is so big! © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	You are a WHORESLUT (none / 0) (#21)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 12:30:30 AM PST

	You are a WHORESLUT and you STINK with the STENCH of FECES and DEATH. You are WRONG and STUPID and GAY, you STUPID gay HOMOSEXUAL whoreSLUT BITCH. Just admit that the word is "goodbye." Admit it. ADMIT IT! Or I will pimp-slap you with such a pimp-slapping like no pimp has never pimp-slapped before, you rectal wart on the arse of Hitler's gay lover's dead grandmother's corpse. I will BURN YOU with FIRE. ADMIT IT. ADMIT that the word was "goodbye" or I will BURN YOU. Even if you DO admit it, I will STILL burn you, because you are STUPID and GAY, you STUPID GAY WHORESLUT COMMUNIST *LIBERAL*! How do you like THEM apples?

	Wait for it, people... (none / 0) (#22)
	by RobotSlave on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 12:45:22 AM PST

	Please, please don't point it out to him just yet. I'd prefer to see what happens when he finds it for himself. God, I feel good. I haven't felt this good since the first time I lied about losing my virginity. I feel so good that I almost want to take up smoking again. A cigarette right now would be sublime. Best net.sex, ever. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	Hmph. (none / 0) (#23)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 06:11:30 AM PST

	Give me a hint.

	First Post! (none / 0) (#25)
	by RobotSlave on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 10:36:27 AM PST

	Oh, wait. It wasn't even in the top five. Drat. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	Hello. (none / 0) (#27)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 12:02:47 PM PST

	I don't get it.

	Heh heh. (none / 0) (#28)
	by RobotSlave on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 12:57:17 PM PST

	Come here, you big lug. I love it when you play dumb. I'm not sure if it was the word or the punctuation that sent me into my reverie. But enough of this. It seems I have other fish to fold today. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	Wait, wait, wait. (none / 0) (#29)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 02:48:39 PM PST

	Are you saying that the word is NOT "goodbye"? Because Craig MacPherson said it was, and I've never seen him say anything incorrect (except for his Global Warming articles on this site which were tripe). Can you answer the following questions? 1. Is the word "goodbye"? 2. If not, have you given me any clues what the word is? 3. Is it a word that you've bolded in a previous post? Love? Mommy? Hurts? Told? Big? Cruel? Secret? Listen? 4. When you say "First Post" and then say "Oh wait, it wasn't even in the top five," does that mean that you used the word or gave a hint to it in the SIXTH post somewhere? The sixth post where? YOUR sixth post in some article, or the sixth post overall in an article? If it was the SEVENTH post, you would have said "not in the top six" instead of "not in the top five", right? Give me another hint.

	OK, then. (none / 0) (#30)
	by RobotSlave on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 04:40:22 PM PST

	Mr. MacPherson was pretty close, but he went in the wrong direction. 1. No. 2. Yes. 3. No. 4. By George, I think you might be on to something. The way you've been treating the subject makes it look like you've got it all figured out. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	I'm still having trouble here. (none / 0) (#31)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 11:37:44 PM PST

	Okay, the word wasn't "goodbye." 1. Was it some synonym of "goodbye"? 2. Or some functionally equivalent word? 3. Or some similar word in another language? 4. Or some word with similar connotations like "later" or "catch-ya-on-da-flipside-dawg"? 5. Did the "not in the top five" comment have something to do with the poll on this story, which had six options, the last of which was "write-in"? 6. Should I see a doctor about this unusual dark spot on my arm?

	Clever subject line would go here (none / 0) (#32)
	by RobotSlave on Thu Oct 18th, 2001 at 07:24:06 AM PST

	More answers for you: 1. No. 2. Yes, though it depends on how you interpret "functionally equivalent." See 1. I'm interpreting along the lines of "performing an equivalent function in a similar social situation." 3. No. 4. See 1 and 2. 5. No. 6. Immediately. The doctor can never have enough patients. On a side note, I would like to express my gratitude to the editors of adequacy for keeping it troll-free. It is a refreshing and soothing experience indeed to participate in such a civilised forum. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	One final option. (none / 0) (#33)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Oct 18th, 2001 at 09:22:22 AM PST

	Name your price. Everyone has a price. I just need to know yours. We agree on a price, you tell me the word, then an agreed-upon amount of cold American dollars mysteriously gets e-mailed to you via Paypall. Or if you have trust issues, we could work out some kind of escrow system -- you tell the word to someone trustworthy in private, I send you the money, and once I prove to the escrow person that I've sent you the money, he/she tells the word to me. Everyone has a price. EVERYONE.

	Excellent. (none / 0) (#34)
	by RobotSlave on Sun Oct 21st, 2001 at 11:38:31 AM PST

	I am glad to see we are finally getting somewhere. My price, naturally, is not one that can be stipulated in the traditional units of economic currency-- like Mr. Kane pining for his sled, I can not be bought with mere money. There will be a new diary entry in the next few days that may give you some idea of what I might accept as compensation. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	Hey Robot... (none / 0) (#35)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 15th, 2002 at 05:52:52 AM PST

	...how about some love and understanding, it's worth more than anything else you could accumulate and lasts longer too!

	er. (none / 0) (#26)
	by nathan on Wed Oct 17th, 2001 at 12:00:31 PM PST

	sir your boot and my neck -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	The word. (5.00 / 2) (#7)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 09:52:17 AM PST

	"Thou, Jubela, did he tell you the Word?" asked the goat-headed man. The gigantic black said, "I beat him and tortured him, but he would not reveal the Word." "Thou, Jubelo, did he tell you the Word?" The fishlike creature said, "I tormented and vexed his inner spirit, Master, but he would not reveal the Word." "And thou, Jubelum, did he tell you the Word?" The hunchbacked dwarf said, "I cut off his testicles and he was mute. I cut off his penis and he was mute. He did not tell me the word." "A fanatic," the goat-head said. "It is better that he is dead."

	The Word (5.00 / 1) (#8)
	by FifthVandal on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 10:59:34 AM PST

	Grease is The Word. It's the word that you heard, It's got a groove, it's got a meaning. I thought everyone knew that :-) --- I was the fifth vandal on the grassy knoll!

	The Word (5.00 / 1) (#10)
	by twodot72 on Tue Oct 16th, 2001 at 01:34:26 PM PST

	It was probably just a cough, that's what I think.

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