What am I supposed to do with all of this?

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Votes: 19

What am I supposed to do with all of this?

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Sep 02, 2001

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For reasons I won't go into here, I have recently forsaken my electric shaver for a few weeks and am learning the barbaric skill of scraping my flesh with a razor blade. I am encountering problems, however.

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No, I am not bleeding. I do possess enough manual dexterity to prevent that. I am also not suffering from razor burn. My problem is that the shaving cream comes out of the can way too fast.

Who the hell needs that much shaving cream? A half-second trigger shot and I have enough foamy white lather in my palm to make Richard Stallman look like Telly Savalas.

This excess goo ends up all over the sink and in my hair. After a battle with my stubble both myself and the entire bathroom smell like a Proctor & Gamble research lab due to the ridiculous excess of this foamy substance.

How do I end this wanton waste of such a precious resource?

	Freudian analysis (5.00 / 3) (#1)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 3rd, 2001 at 01:21:18 AM PST

	Is "shaving cream" a euphemism for something else? This excess goo ends up all over the sink and in my hair.. I really don't want to know about that.

	Umm... (5.00 / 4) (#2)
	by Craig McPherson on Mon Sep 3rd, 2001 at 01:31:02 AM PST

	And the LORD said unto Moses, Speak unto the priests and the sons of Aaron, and say unto them... They shall note make baldness upon their head, neither shall they shave off the corner of their beard, nor make any cuttings in their flesh. Leviticus 21 Ahem. -- If you want to know why Lunix is so screwed up, just take a look at the people who use it. Idiocy.

	Don't use foam (5.00 / 1) (#3)
	by dmg on Mon Sep 3rd, 2001 at 10:34:13 AM PST

	Use Gillette series gel. the Gillette Series line consists of more than a dozen high performance products in the shave preparation, deodorant/antiperspirant and after-shave categories. In this day and age, there is no need for you to suffer from excess foamage. time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	Nah (5.00 / 1) (#4)
	by zikzak on Mon Sep 3rd, 2001 at 06:35:43 PM PST

	I like the spiffy name, but the difference in price is a bit much for me frugal nature. I see no need to waste money on personal hygiene products when the liquor store is right next door.

	RMS dirty gnu hippy (5.00 / 1) (#6)
	by dmg on Mon Sep 3rd, 2001 at 09:01:37 PM PST

	I see no need to waste money on personal hygiene products You are like RMS in more ways than one. time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	Consume consume consume consume consume consume (5.00 / 1) (#7)
	by dmg on Mon Sep 3rd, 2001 at 09:05:37 PM PST

	Your economy is on the brink of recession, and you are quibbling about a few cents extra for shaving gel ? For your money you get something containing Water, Palmitic Acid, Oleth-20, Triethanolamine, Isopentane (and) Isobutane, Glycereth-26, Hydrogenated Polyisobutene, Lauramide Dea, Fragrance Hydroxyehtylcellulose, Peg-150 Distearate, Peg-14m, Aloe Vera Gel, Fluorosurfactant, Fd&c Green No. 3, D&c Yellow No 10. Worth those few extra cents if you ask me. time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	Gel is good (none / 0) (#5)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 3rd, 2001 at 06:37:58 PM PST

	For a razor, go with the Gillette Mach 3. I rarely cut myself with it.

	Do what we did before shaving cream in a can. (none / 0) (#8)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Sep 3rd, 2001 at 09:11:25 PM PST

	I've been dissatisfied with shaving cream too (the best I found was Noxzema aloe), and find the gel-based shaving creams spooky. Try shaving with - gasp - shaving soap. It might not be as 'fluffy' as your metal-clad shoe-in, but I promise there are no offensive odors of alcohol or propellants. In addition, you do the earth a favor by not adding more metal waste (not so easy to recycle shaving cream cans, is it?) to the landfill. I find Lightfoot soap to be excellent. Burt's Bees makes some which doesn't form as rich a lather, though if you like bay rum (not my favorite) you might like it. The only caveat: an extra minute spent generating the foam (which I think is fun) and you'll need to have a brush and cup. However, you do get to shave with warm shaving cream, if you want, which I think is excellent. You can also go the extra mile and get a straight razor -- which I've heard gives a closer shave than today's disposables when used right, but haven't experienced for myself. I am too clumsy to use the straight razor, so I stick with the previously-suggested (and wonderful) Mach 3. I just hate throwing away (and buying) so many cartridges - they're so great to shave with when they're new that I tend to use them only a few times. My experiences with electric shaving have all been very negative.

	Have you considered electrolysis ? (5.00 / 3) (#9)
	by dmg on Mon Sep 3rd, 2001 at 11:44:39 PM PST

	I understand once they have been electrocuted, hairs do not grow back. It would solve the root cause of the problem... time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	Electrolysis? (3.66 / 3) (#10)
	by Craig McPherson on Tue Sep 4th, 2001 at 12:08:37 AM PST

	elec�trol�y�sis - the producing of chemical changes by passage of an electric current through an electrolyte. Is your hair an electrolyte? Your radical ideas about using electro-shock therapy to control hair growth may already have occurred to others, but that doesn't mean they're safe. -- If you want to know why Lunix is so screwed up, just take a look at the people who use it. Idiocy.

	Well, yes, but it also has a cosmetic meaning. (5.00 / 3) (#13)
	by dmg on Tue Sep 4th, 2001 at 04:55:54 PM PST

	The following electrolysis resource should prove enlightening time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	sadly, the hair does grow back (none / 0) (#15)
	by motherfuckin spork on Wed Sep 5th, 2001 at 06:18:26 AM PST

	but it takes a while. there were two girls I went to school with, identical twins, and they were quite pretty, except for the excess dark hair upon their upper lips... we're not talking about a little bit of fuzz here, we're talking pretty-close-to-a-moustache here. It was quite unfortunate. they tried waxing - too painful... shaving would not work, so they went with elecrolysis. It took them several tried before the hair was even hindered from growing. Hair follicles are some resillient little buggers. I am not who you think I am.

	USian "manners" (5.00 / 2) (#16)
	by iat on Wed Sep 5th, 2001 at 07:55:43 AM PST

	Maybe it's just my superior upbringing as a polite English gentleman, but I would never dare to discuss a lady's facial hair problem with her. Such a conversation would surely be of great embarassment to the lady concerned, who would obviously be ashamed of her impaired femininity. Which leaves me wondering how you managed to find out about these ladies' battle against hairiness. Is USia really so barbaric that it is socially acceptable to ask a lady about such delicate personal matters? Adequacy.org - love it or leave it.

	since you asked... (none / 0) (#17)
	by motherfuckin spork on Wed Sep 5th, 2001 at 08:32:55 AM PST

	the truth be told that one of the sister's was open enough and secure enough with her appearance to discuss the matter with her friends, of which I was one (mind you, this was all 10-12 years ago). As I said, the sisters were, and still are, quite attractive, and so by the removal of the hair only added to their beauty. The lip-fuzz was something they were not fond of, but again, they were secure enough with themselves to be able to acknoledge the issue and then go do something about it. Besides, if anyone had been foolish enough to chide them about the issue, not only would that person have earned the wrath of the sisters, they would have brought upon themselves the ire of the rest of us - and that would simply not have been a good thing. I am not who you think I am.

	Shameless USian women (5.00 / 2) (#18)
	by iat on Wed Sep 5th, 2001 at 08:53:49 AM PST

	Your experiences demonstrate the huge cultural divide between the polite and civilised society of UKia and the crude and barbaric society of USia. All UKian women are gentle and sensitive creatures, who would be embarassed by their affliction and would never discuss it. In fact, many UKian women would be too ashamed to even leave the house if they had such a terrible disability. Yet USian women have forsaken their innocence and femininity and are willing to talk openly about such unpleasant matters. I assume that USian women are also happy to introduce women's problems and their toilet habits in "polite" conversation. This makes me truly grateful to live in the UK, where our women are happy to be women, rather than trying to be "one of the lads". Adequacy.org - love it or leave it.

	yawn (5.00 / 1) (#19)
	by motherfuckin spork on Wed Sep 5th, 2001 at 10:08:12 AM PST

	nice try, but you are clearly trying too hard. please, before someone gets hurt, give it a rest. Barbarism... that's a bit cliche, don't you think? If you were really at all clever or creatie, you'd have some original arguments in there - I mean really, man, say something new... you've only dished out the same-old-same-old. I am vastly disappointed by your lack of real effort. Besides, feminst independence and personal self-worth are clearly not indications of a "less cultuted" society. Hiding in fear would seem to indicate such a situation, not the other way around. I bit thee adieu. I am not who you think I am.

	Not at all (5.00 / 2) (#20)
	by iat on Wed Sep 5th, 2001 at 01:12:22 PM PST

	I mean every word of what I say. I believe women should be feminine and should not discuss their health problems or other such things in polite society. For that matter, I don't believe anyone should discuss such personal matters in civilised conversation, but womens' health problems even less acceptable as a discussion topic than mens'. Considering that you seem to consider yourself as such an intellectual heavyweight, I'm amazed that you could be close-minded enough to believe that there aren't people in the world who share my views. I am not trying to be creative, I'm expressing my true opinion. I simply don't share your liberal views on the role of women in society. Adequacy.org - love it or leave it.

	well then (5.00 / 1) (#21)
	by motherfuckin spork on Wed Sep 5th, 2001 at 01:27:45 PM PST

	I simply don't share your liberal views on the role of women in society. As such, this saddens me that one such as yourself could sit there content, and yet be so vastly unenlightened. Such is life. I am not who you think I am.

	Go back to your electric shaver! (5.00 / 3) (#11)
	by iat on Tue Sep 4th, 2001 at 12:39:29 AM PST

	There's no need to use any foam, it's quicker, after your initial investment there's no need to spend further money on blades, it produces less waste (old blades etc) so is more environmentally friendly and it's really difficult (although not impossible) to cut yourself with an electric shaver. Adequacy.org - love it or leave it.

	If you're desperate... (none / 0) (#12)
	by westgeof on Tue Sep 4th, 2001 at 03:15:25 PM PST

	I'd reccomend saving it in a plastic bag for later use. Store it in your freezer, it'd make a wonderful conversation piece ;-) But seriously, if it's that big a deal, why use shaving cream at all? It's not really essential, and if you shave while driving (my brother does this, not I,) a lot easier. I only use shaving cream if I've been lazy for a few days and build up more than a little stubble. Otherwise it doesn't make much of a difference. As a child I wanted to know everything. Now I miss my ignorance.

	If I were to create a website about beards... (5.00 / 5) (#14)
	by Craig McPherson on Wed Sep 5th, 2001 at 12:01:20 AM PST

	... it would be called goatee.cx -- If you want to know why Lunix is so screwed up, just take a look at the people who use it. Idiocy.

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