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 I'm bored

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Oct 30, 2001
 Comments:
I'm thinking of moving. Any suggestions?
diaries

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Moving... (none / 0) (#1)
by kwench on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 10:59:20 AM PST
Well, I heard something that prices for houses and properties are quite low in Afghanistan these days...
If you happen to like the smell of desertdust and bomb- and gunpowder it's probably a fun place. And you can have serveral wifes... 8-)



 
Before I had dogs... (5.00 / 3) (#2)
by elenchos on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 11:03:00 AM PST
...I often had the same problem. But now they force me to get up as often as every two hours. Usually we walk around the block once, or play frisbee in the park for a while.

Even if you don't get up at all though, you should move a little. Raise your arms above your head a few times. Try it!

Another cool trick: as your energy starts to wane towards the end of the day, put on a different pair of shoes. They will be slightly different than the ones you had on, and so will change the shape of your feet a bit. They mold to fit the shoes, you know. Anyway, it is invigorating.

At the very least, turn your head from left to right and back again, say, once per hour. I'd call that the minimum amount of movement.

If you aren't used to all this, don't just jump right into it. You could really hurt yourself, and then you'll have a bad attitude about moving in the future, and be even less likely to move than you are now. Check with a physician before beginning to move, and see how much movement is right for you.


I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill


me now understands (none / 0) (#3)
by kwench on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 11:11:47 AM PST
me now knows moving mean sport

me thinks www.adequacy.org should make english language test before give access

me thinks too that perhaps not make english test

me thinks it be boring when there be only british people here

me thinks too much, me has headache



 
I think I understand (none / 0) (#10)
by zikzak on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 03:38:31 PM PST
So you're saying I need a dog?

What about fleas?


Oh, I see no need for fleas. Just a dog. (none / 0) (#12)
by elenchos on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 05:12:04 PM PST
Perhaps the fleas would get you moving, I'll grant that, but at what cost?

Go with a low-maintenance dog. Even the lowest-maintenance dog takes a hell of a lot of time. Don't add to it with grooming or removing stickers from floppy ears. Get one that looks similar in coat and body shape to a wolf, coyote or fox. That is the pinnacle of canine evolutionary perfection. Stray from that wil all kinds of pushed in faces and flouncy coats and you are asking for trouble. And fleas.


I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill


And make sure it is fierce. (none / 0) (#21)
by RobotSlave on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 06:15:29 PM PST
A good, aggressive, barely-controllable, flesh-eating dog is bound to be much healthier than the docile leftovers-vacuum mistakenly favored by the ignorant suburbanite.

Maybe something with a little wild blood in it. Something reared to protect the herd from other canines. Something not recognized by major breeders clubs.

Something repeatedly and terrifyingly depicted in the artwork of George Rodrigue.

Something, in short, like an Australian Cattle Dog.


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Fierce? Flesh-eating? (none / 0) (#22)
by elenchos on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 09:50:17 PM PST
Why, Austrialian cattle dogs -- heelers -- are the sweetest little poochie-woochies in the whole widest world! Why a heeler will wuv you and obey daddy like the good, good doggies woggies they are! Yes! They are sooooo good! Who's a good doggie? Who? Who? A heeler is! That's who!

And they fit my description exactly. Not only do they have that perfect natural build, but they are the right size to. A really big-assed dog is a pain.


I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill


My dear elenchos, (5.00 / 1) (#23)
by RobotSlave on Wed Oct 31st, 2001 at 12:16:46 AM PST
have you ever known a canine to turn down flesh, when available?

Clearly, you have succumbed entirely to the gut-wrenching visions of Mr. Rodrigue, and can now only gibber and babble in fear, trying desperately to convince yourself that the monsters mean you no harm.

I know this from first-hand experience. You sound exactly like the dearest members of my family, who now live at the mercy of the blue demon in their midst. I pray to not-God daily for their release, but I fear they are doomed to live out their days in yammering terror until the beast has its way with them.

Look again at that final image, the one linked to under the word "Dog." Who is an evil dog? Yes! Who's a bloody-eyed menace? Who is going to drag me out into the gloaming, into the swirling snow, and rend me limb from limb? Yes! Yes, you are!


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

That adorable doggie... (none / 0) (#24)
by elenchos on Wed Oct 31st, 2001 at 12:32:20 AM PST
...is the sweetest baby I have ever seen! Don't you just want to hug it and squeeze it! That is a good dog!

Oh yes! What a good doggie!


I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill


it is worse than I feared. (none / 0) (#25)
by RobotSlave on Wed Oct 31st, 2001 at 12:47:53 AM PST
Are there perchance any Baskervilles in your family tree?


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

 
Don't be ranking on Tiffany... (none / 0) (#27)
by chloedancer on Thu Nov 1st, 2001 at 05:51:48 PM PST
Not everyone grapples with the blues in song, after all. Picasso's blue period descended after the suicide of a friend. When Cajun artist George Rodrigue lost his beloved pooch Tiffany, his grief became the Blue Dog series. Several of the paintings in the series are in homage to the passing of Cajun cultural norms or beloved family members, with the Blue Dog serving as the connecting thread. Call it "pop art" if you want... For me, it's a symbolic segue:

"In some paintings the dog is the focus; in others, she's merely another element; and in others, she has no relation to the rest of the painting at all. She floats through different landscapes, wears a variety of costumes, and appears against abstract backgrounds, but the expectant pose and haunting stare has stayed the same. Sometimes it seems as if the cobalt canine with eyes of yellow is everywhere." (Source: Where New Orleans)

Kind of reminds me of Gatsby's eyes of of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg on the billboard, equally haunting.


 
You need a drug habit (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by osm on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 12:10:06 PM PST
it takes all your time, money and, unlike with women, you can get fucked constantly.

personally, i recommend opiates. they activate every receptor in your brain that would be activated under any pleasurable circumstance. only under the influence of opiates can you find what love really is.

stay away from imported opiates though. it wouldn't surprise me if those idiots in afghanistan are poisoning it. grow your own.


How do you... (none / 0) (#5)
by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 12:57:40 PM PST
refine the stuff once you grow it? And can't a few nice scotches on the rocks achieve the same state of euphoria, without any of the potential legal hassles?



you don't need to refine it. (none / 0) (#6)
by osm on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 01:05:54 PM PST
you cut a slit in the seed bulb and it oozes out a white latex which is pure opium.

don't you have a french chat room to go to?


It's a pain in the ass (none / 0) (#17)
by molester on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 05:47:34 PM PST
You have to cut a lot of poppies, and opium poppies are harder to find in America. They do exist though, I go poppy huntin' every June when they're ripe for the picking. Having old ladies chase you out of their yard when you're busy stealing their poppies is a bitch though.


 
are you joking? (none / 0) (#7)
by osm on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 01:10:16 PM PST
And can't a few nice scotches on the rocks achieve the same state of euphoria

ARE YOU JOKING?!

how dare you compare satans nectar with the sweet dew of a poppy. my god, the more you open your mouth the more repulsive you become.


 
I already have too many addictions (none / 0) (#9)
by zikzak on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 03:37:07 PM PST
Nicotine
Caffeine
Alcohol
Twinkies

I'm just not convinced that I need any more.


 
Don't worry (none / 0) (#19)
by John Milton on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 06:04:26 PM PST
I'm sure if the Taliban was messing with the opium supply President Bush would be the first to know.


-John Milton

ahem (none / 0) (#20)
by osm on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 06:14:14 PM PST
at least he knows how to inhale.


 
that's coke (none / 0) (#26)
by alprazolam on Wed Oct 31st, 2001 at 01:45:12 PM PST
get your presidential drugs straight, please.


 
Move... (3.50 / 2) (#8)
by egg troll on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 03:35:51 PM PST
...to the left about seven feet. There you go! Life should be peaches-and-cream for you now! :)


Posting for the love of the baby Jesus....

I'd rather not (none / 0) (#11)
by zikzak on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 03:50:15 PM PST
At my current location seven feet to the left would have me suspended about 10 feet above a rather hard surface (tile). Presumably I would then begin falling, which I'd prefer to avoid.


 
Anyplace except Houston. (none / 0) (#13)
by jin wicked on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 05:32:30 PM PST
<p>I'm hoping to move in the next few months myself and get the Hell out of here. :)</p>


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Ugh. (none / 0) (#14)
by jin wicked on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 05:33:48 PM PST
<p>You people deliberately went into my account and set it to erase my prefences every damned time I post a message, didn't you?</p>


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

No. (none / 0) (#15)
by RobotSlave on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 05:40:07 PM PST
They just disabled the "preview" function instead. Pretty effective, eh?


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Preview? (none / 0) (#16)
by jin wicked on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 05:42:25 PM PST
Preview is for wimps; I don't know what you're talking about. :P


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

 
Won't dream of it (none / 0) (#18)
by zikzak on Tue Oct 30th, 2001 at 05:58:47 PM PST
I've already tried living in Houston. Believe me, it's not on my short list.


 

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