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Poll

Votes: 25

I need better sources of caffeine

Author:

typical geek

Topic:

Diaries

Posted:

Feb 14, 2002

Comments:

I am tired, and another mug of terrible tasting work coffee repulses me. What should I do?

Poll: Kinky sex thing, becuase k5 is down

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I am very tired. I would like to get more sleep, but at this moment I need to be awake.

The coffee here sucks. Understand, I am used to taking fresh whole arabica beans, lovingly picked by 13 year old lithe limbed brown skinned young maidens with big brown doe eyes, then roasted and shipped to my home, to be ground in a finely engineered piece of German engineering, and brewed in piece of German engineering made with the same attention to detail that allowed 6+ million to be killed, and countless Sherman tanks destroyed (why yes, it is a Krupps).

The work coffee, on the other hand, is from fossil-fuel harvested conglomerates, roasted, ground, stored in cans for months, and then brewed in a piece of shit American made coffee maker that was last cleaned when we had an American president who got oral sex (do you really think Laura does that? No way, twice a week, in the dark, with the eyes closed, missionary style). It tastes like shit (work coffee, that is).

I had to resort to Pepsi One, which was loaded into the Pepsi slot by mistake, so I don't even get a corn syrup buzz. Yuck.

I was thinking caffeinated breath mints, anyone have any good ones to look for?

	Have you considered... (none / 0) (#2)
	by jvance on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 12:00:31 PM PST

	...mainlining? -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	we agree on something (none / 0) (#3)
	by elby on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 12:01:43 PM PST

	I too am interested in how your results turn out. I've never had much luck with caffeinated products, and I'm trying to cut down on carbonated beverages and drink more water. But, I need more caffeine from somewhere. -lb

	Even if you can get good coffee... (none / 0) (#4)
	by elenchos on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 12:29:43 PM PST

	...which you bascically can't anymore, but if you can, you have to stand in line behind two dozen yuppies getting some kind of weird espresso thing that takes 20 minutes to make. You end up wasting your whole day for one cup of coffee. But what I was saying was, even if you can get a decent cup of coffee, do you know how that stuff makes you smell? I don't just mean coffee breath, not that there is anything attractive about coffee breath. But that bitter, acrid stuff eventually finds its way to every pore. It comes out in your sweat. Yes, I am not kidding. The more you drink, the worse it gets, and the less you notice. And the more everyone else does. Eventually the only people who are willing to meet you in person are Def Con hackers. Eeeew. I hate the idea of giving up caffine though. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	Solution: (none / 0) (#17)
	by The Mad Scientist on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 04:41:28 PM PST

	<I>I don't just mean coffee breath, not that there is anything attractive about coffee breath. But that bitter, acrid stuff eventually finds its way to every pore. It comes out in your sweat. Yes, I am not kidding. The more you drink, the worse it gets, and the less you notice. And the more everyone else does. Eventually the only people who are willing to meet you in person are Def Con hackers. Eeeew.</I> <P> <I>I hate the idea of giving up caffine though.</I> <P> Several possible solutions. <P> Tea. Black (the best punch it packs after extracting for 90-120 minutes in 95+ deg C water, can be enhanced by pre-extracting in at least 40% alcohol), or green (5 minutes extraction time, start with about 80 'C water). <P> Yerba mate (already mentioned in this thread). Good as backup solution when regular tea doesn't work anymore, the project is still not finished, and that dark, deep rumbling in the distance that unstoppably comes closer with each minute is the deadline. <P> Speed (illegal, damn powerful, damn dangerous; keep as a backup for the highest emergencies. Used in some cases by military commanders during the WW2, ie. during prolonged submarine hunts. (And by Nazi soldiers and kamikaze pilots, on the "enemy" side.) If you have to resort to it you done a mistake earlier, and if you have to use it once per year it is too often. Never take more than single dose in one session. Expect harsh recovery. Still, if there are thousands of dollars of damage for each hour of delay, better than nothing.) <P> Pure caffeine. You can sublimate it yourself from coffee or tea - tea preferred, the oils from coffee tend to contaminate the product. In optimal case, you will get long thin crystals that pack quite a punch. Alternatively, you can buy pure caffeine in pro-analysis purity. Be wary about the doses; it's very easy to get too much this way. <P> And dozens more ways. But every stimulant is just borrowing from your own reserves and demands to be paid back, with more or less of interest. Caffeine is mild and soft, suitable for general use. <P> The three most important components of any software (and from what I seen, even hardware) projects are sugar, caffeine, and adrenaline.

	That's why... (none / 0) (#20)
	by elenchos on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 10:30:26 PM PST

	...sugar free caffinated mints are so worthless. Are you going to gain fifty pounds from eating a mint? I suppose if you are working on something illegal that will net nothing but two years probation and an honorable mention on some hacker scoreboard site, you might as well do illegal drugs too. Me, I'll take a few sugared, caffinated mints that don't make your breath and your body smell like a gnu, and leave work at a decent hour to go on a date. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	Mints, sugar, and laws (none / 0) (#22)
	by The Mad Scientist on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 06:09:34 AM PST

	...sugar free caffinated mints are so worthless. Are you going to gain fifty pounds from eating a mint? Agree. Caffeine without sugar is only half the fun. And a mint (of course if you don't intend to eat 50 lb of them) is too small to supply any meaningful amount of sugar anyway. Maybe real sugar isn't sweet enough for the manufacturers, though... I suppose if you are working on something illegal that will net nothing but two years probation and an honorable mention on some hacker scoreboard site, you might as well do illegal drugs too. Legality of both projects and drugs greatly depends on where you are at the moment. I developed healthy despise for the Laws - it isn't in the possibilities of a person to find about them all, and new ones appear every day and attempts to keep up with them are deemed to be futile. In some Islamic countries you can be arrested for possession of alcohol (as even in the US during the infamous Prohibition). Somewhere else you can be arrested for possession of encryption devices. For smoking pot. For having a chewing gum. For jaywalking. For possession of unlicenced substance. For badmouthing the Government. For many other meaningless things. Each such place's official stance is that their laws are the Good Ones. I don't do intentional harm or malice. However I don't refrain from doing something harmless only because it is - gasp - illegal. Hey - it seems that by now even serial cables are illegal. Am I expected to actually respect that decision? (Leaves me thinking why the guy in question goes the hard way and fights with lawyers instead of doing the easy way and build the cable from what's in the lab. It may look like wasting time - but when the waiting and the phonecalls and everything other is taken into account, do-it-yourself way usually turns to be more effective.) Me, I'll take a few sugared, caffinated mints that don't make your breath and your body smell like a gnu, and leave work at a decent hour to go on a date. Me, I'll make another batch of black tea with cinnamon (which is slightly mood-altering in higher doses (if the taste isn't smooth but begins to bite the tongue it's too much) and is good when you need to gently elevate your mood; I wonder why it's still legal). A project calls...

	Roll yer own. (none / 0) (#21)
	by walwyn on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 04:08:26 AM PST

	Why not bring your own coffee maker in. Now the secret of these things is not to use beans ground for expresso, because you end up with weak piss. What you need is finely ground filter coffee, and stuff as much in as you can into the coffee holding thingy then squash it down tight and repeat. The resulting brew is a thick dark brown treacley substance, which has a slight caramel smell and is potentially leathal if drunk neat. Best dilute 1:3 with boiling water. Be prepared for palputations. Drunk this way one pot will last you all night.

	Caffienated mints are the way to go. (none / 0) (#5)
	by dmg on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 12:36:14 PM PST

	I swear by caffienated mints for those occasions where I need to be extra-alert. But be careful, some caffienated mints are not as good as others. You need to get the good ones. time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	What are the good ones? I tried Penguin (none / 0) (#6)
	by typical geek on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 12:39:19 PM PST

	caffeinated mints, and had a horrible time. Not so much with the chalky, bitter mints, but with the unwarranted attention from strange, smelly, poorly kept acned young men who kept trying to talk to me about Lyenucks. gcc is to software freedom as guns are to personal freedom.

	How about (none / 0) (#7)
	by hauntedattics on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 12:46:58 PM PST

	getting a bag of those chocolate-covered coffee beans for your desk? Then you can get the sugar and caffeine buzz in one go. Be careful with those things, though - they pack a big punch.

	Agreed (none / 0) (#9)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 02:11:20 PM PST

	Chocolate covered espresso beans are the way to go. You get caffeine from the bean, from the chocolate, a sugar buzz, they are delightfully crunchy, etc. etc. The only way I can imagine to find a good caffeinated mint is to go to Thinkgeek. Jot down all of the mints they offer for sale there. Next, type 'caffeinated mint' into Google and look for a place that sells something that isn't on your list.

	Penguin sucks. (none / 0) (#16)
	by dmg on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 03:57:55 PM PST

	Aha, penguin. That explains it. You should have gone for Hypermints. They don't seem to have any association with the Linux anti-freedom brigade. Very refreshingly minty and a surprisingly strong caffiene kick to them. Especially useful when attempting to explain to Linux users why the GPL==Communism without falling asleep listening to their half-baked ill-thought-out responses. time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	And how. (none / 0) (#19)
	by elenchos on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 10:16:14 PM PST

	I tried those Tux mints and they sucked. I'd rather go with chewing coffee beans and getting coffee grains under my tongue and in my teeth than those things. They taste like mouthwash, only worse because they're sugar free. They use some Open Sores knock off of real sugar. And I had a friend who ran into problems at work because of the pro-Lunixitc propaganda that goes along with them. It's one thing to kid about, but if you work for a company that takes intellectual property seriously (i.e. one of those non-New Economy companies that thinks profits matter), then going around bleating "information wants to be free" is no way to get promoted. They're going to think you hang out with h4x0rz and trade company passwords for crack cocaine. Jeeze. All you wanted was a damn caffinated breath mint and you ended up getting fired from your job and blacklisted by everybody that makes money. Great. Now you get all the hacker mints you want but you have to work for VA Lunix and get paid only in worthless stock. By that time your car is repossessed and your wife has either started sleeping with the mail man or just left you and the kids for good. And who could blame her? It isn't worth it, if you ask me. I'd look for some decent-tasting mints that don't come sandbagged with a bunch of radical pollitical nonsense. Sugar and caffine, yes, dirty GNU OpenMints, no way. I heard the reason they can't put sugar in the Lunix mints is because the Monopoly on Sugar (MS) won't release the proprietary Sugar Driver specs. What a bunch of wankers. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	Yerba Mate' (none / 0) (#8)
	by jvance on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 01:33:36 PM PST

	An Argentinian friend introduced me to this. It's an herbal tea that has a kick like a mule. One cup is like 5 cups of really strong coffee. Use with caution after 12 PM. jvance -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	Nooooooo! (none / 0) (#10)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 02:14:03 PM PST

	Interestingly enough, Yerba Mate rhymes with "You bet I am gay". Thats becuase it is extremely popular among the tea drinking young gay boy jet set.

	I thought... (none / 0) (#12)
	by jvance on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 02:51:24 PM PST

	...the gay boy jet set was into crack cocaine and anal sex in airliner bathrooms. jvance -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	Oh, my God. (none / 0) (#13)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 02:56:27 PM PST

	That is so pre-stonewall. Where have you been, auntie?

	Don't make me... (5.00 / 1) (#15)
	by jvance on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 03:19:45 PM PST

	...quote this! My name's Bea I like tea Won't you dance Around with me? AAARGH! Too late! jvance -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	Off Topic (none / 0) (#18)
	by doofus on Thu Feb 14th, 2002 at 04:57:56 PM PST

	...twice a week... Oh, please.

	get a sigma/aldrich catalog (none / 0) (#23)
	by motherfuckin spork on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 10:30:51 AM PST

	order some pure caffiene, dimethylsulfoxide (DMSO), and get some regular table sugar. Dissolve as much caffiene and sugar into the DMSO as you would like to have in your system. Wipe your hands clean with soap and water, then rubbing alcohol. Place some of the solution of DMSO with caffiene and sugar on the palms of your hand. The DMSO will transport the caffiene and sugar directly into your bloodstream, and shortly, you'll know its working as you will have a sweet taste in your mouth, and a slightly garlicky flavor as well (DMSO is kinda stinky, but not too bad - the sugar cuts it nicely). I am not who you think I am.

	Or even better,... (none / 0) (#24)
	by The Mad Scientist on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 11:24:23 AM PST

	...get i.v. caffeine solution for injections, pharm quality. I am not exactly sure about the toxicity of DMSO. On another thought, glucose and caffeine infusion could be interesting way to stay up and running.

	That's the dumbest thing I heard all day... (none / 0) (#25)
	by tkatchev on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 12:07:52 PM PST

	You might as well surgically inject crack cocaine into your armpit. Injecting this stuff would probably ruin your heart in just a few days. (Or weeks.) -- Peace and much love...

	I heard worse. (none / 0) (#26)
	by The Mad Scientist on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 12:59:20 PM PST

	You might as well surgically inject crack cocaine into your armpit. I never heard about injecting of freebase cocaine. As far as I know, crack - or cocaine bicarbonate - is designed for smoking. Injecting this stuff would probably ruin your heart in just a few days. (Or weeks.) The dose it what matters. The route of administration effects only the effectivity (what percentage of administered dose gets into the bloodstream - i.v. and i.m. doses are typically quite smaller than p.o. doses for the same effect) and the timing of effect.

	Try ephedra instead, now in candy bar form! (none / 0) (#27)
	by luisa on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 02:20:10 PM PST

	It is available in candy bar form in a variety of flavours in pharmacies across America. It is also available in pill form as stuff like Metabolift and dexatrim natural. One gets all the benefit of caffeine plus some without caffeine nausea. Safer than actual meth, but with most of the same effect. It's essentially (so far as one's body is concerned) OTC Ritalin. Try a few bars out and take the coffee at home, for flavour enjoyment.

	Ephedrine + Caffeine (none / 0) (#28)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Feb 17th, 2002 at 08:42:27 PM PST

	Use this combo to make your brain feel like it's wired to a car battery :)

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