55 lbs...

When I went to school in Sept. I knew I wanted to lose weight, I weight 245 and wasn't feeling good, in general and about myself. So I started running, everyday. And eating better. I started losing weight, and now I weigh 190. I started weight lifting too, and eating even better. About one meal a day. Two miles in the morning and depending on homework, one mile at night.

I want to get to 177 by summer. Will I make it? I made my x-mas goal of 200. So that makes me happy.

When I left for college, my 3rd year I didn't tell anyone. It was pretty cool when I came back and everyone noticed my weight loss. Not many at school noticed, I guess because they see me every day. I gave up a lot for this.

The hardest thing was drinking. I stopped drinking to help lose weight.

I guess the main reason I started was for girls. I wanted to 'get' girls. Its worked somewhat. I do get more attention from girls.

I don't know how I feel about my progress so far. I mean I'm happy I did this. Its weird I guess I excepted to feel totally different. I'm still not 'there' yet, my goal of 170-177 I mean. So maybe what I except to feel like won't happen til then. Let me rephrase that, I don't except to feel a certain way, just different I think.

I used to wonder how teenage girls could get bulemic, I mean how could they get that warped view of themselves, where they always think they are fat. I understand now. Its not so much you think you're fat, though you do, you see it everyday. Its that weight loss if very addicating. Especially if you weigh yourself often, say everyday like I do. Its weird, I except to drop a pound or more everyday like I used to, even at 190. And if I dont' I equate it with what I ate the previous day. It seems only natural at first, because if you had a slice of pizza its true. But then you eat less, and that scoop of eggs you had for breakfest was the reason you only dropped a 1/2 pound instead of 2. The last week of school I didn't eat anything. I told myself it was just to get back the 195 hump I was at for a week straight, I'm at 190 and still not eating a lot, though I am eating. That's just one thing I guess.

I used to think I'd miss eating, or get hungry, I don't. Its weird, I used to love eating. I don't.

Anyway, first diary entry and felt like talking about this. Adequacy.org seemed like the place to do it. If it isn't sorry.

	Damn... (none / 0) (#1)
	by threshold on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 10:47:27 AM PST

	What happened to paragraph breaks? I must have forgotten to mark Plain Text or something.

	looks alright... (none / 0) (#3)
	by elby on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 06:57:10 PM PST

	did the format change somehow? or has one of the other editors already changed it? Unfortunately, I don't believe there are plain-text options for story or diary posting.

	Simple. (none / 0) (#2)
	by tkatchev on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 10:59:28 AM PST

	Eat natural food. Your best bet is to buy all your produce in raw form from your neighborhood market, and cook all meals yourself. This has a twofold advantage: You won't eat unless you are hungry -- it takes a real effort to cook meals, meaning that your natural laziness will offset your natural gluttony. :) You'll eat a naturally balanced diet -- you'll have reasonable meat consumption, for example. (Meat is expensive, and takes much more effort to cook.) The only problem is that if you live in the U.S., you probably don't have access to a grocery market in your neighborhood. You could try some sort of "ethnic" market -- Indian or Chinese, for example, if you can tolerate eating "ethinic food" constantly. -- Peace and much love...