I haven't been sleeping well lately. I don't really know why, but it's definitely worse than my normal sleep schedule, which isn't all that great to begin with. I've been up until 2am the past couple nights, and at least 1am most nights for the past couple weeks. 1am is not abnormal, but I'll usually slip in a few days of getting to bed before 11pm or midnight along with the late nights. Lately I can't.

Of course I'm tired, but I can't get myself to go to bed, and lie awake even when I do. I also am not sleeping well.

I'm not unhappy. My life is mostly good. I have a fairly good job, making good money despite being underpaid, and I have good job security. I'd like to move up, but it looks like I'm going to have to find a new job to do it. The opportunity just isn't there at my current company.

Why can't I sleep?

Maybe because that time of day is the only time I really get to myself. I appreciate having time to myself. How could I not when I'm part of such a big family and have such large responsibilities? It's hard to always have to think about others first, even if it is noble, and even when I do it because it is honestly what I want to be doing.

Things I need to do:

• Finish studying for an exam, and then pass the exam.
• Finish the SANS course that I have to take for work (on their time).
• Add the exam and SANS course to my resumé.
• All the while, look for a job.

Also, the nick 'theR' sucks. I should have gone with 'Tarzan'.