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Poll
What Should I Do?
Demand 25% 16%
Take the 20% and be grateful for it, young man! 8%
Tell him I'll do business with him when he unlocks the CapsLock key 33%
Report him to the Nigerian Chamber of Commerce and Industry 8%
Find Patrice Miller! 8%
Send him the SirCam virus 25%

Votes: 12

 I *am* somebody!!

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Mar 07, 2002
 Comments:

Finally, oh, finally I receive the coveted "Nigerian Funds Transfer Scam" email! Oh joy! Oh la, oh lay!

I feel kinda sorry for this guy, getting ripped off by Patrice Miller of 57th St NY, NY. That's just like a New Yorker, isn't it? Taking advantage of some poor fellow just trying to make a buck.

And the same day I received a sircam virus email, too. Sircam!? Is that still around (I guess so)?

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STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

SIR,

WE ARE SENDING THIS LETTER TO YOU BASED ON THE INFORMATION WE GATHERED FROM THE FOREIGN TRADE OFFICE OF THE NIGERIAN CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY. WE BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD BE IN A GOOD POSITION TO HELP US IN OUR BID TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF THIRTY MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$30.8) INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT. WE ARE MEMBERS OF THE SPECIAL COMMITTEE FOR BUDGET AND PLANNING OF THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF PETROLEUM AND NATURAL RESOURCES, THIS COMMITTEE IS PRINCIPALLY CONCERNED WITH CONTRACT APPRAISALS AND APPROVAL IN ORDER OF PRIORITIES AS REGARDS CAPITAL PROJECT OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA.

WITH OUR POSITIONS, WE HAVE SUCCESSFULLY SECURED FOR OURSELVES THE SUM OF THIRTY MILLION,EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$30.8M). THIS AMOUNT WAS ACCUMULATED THROUGH UNDECLARED WINDFALL FROM SALES OF CRUDE OIL DURING THE GULF WAR. WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS TO PROVIDE A SAFE ACCOUNT INTO WHICH THE FUNDS WILL BE TRANSFERRED SINCE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS ARE NOT ALLOWED BY OUR LAWS TO OPERATE FOREIGN ACCOUNT. IT HAS BEEN AGREED THAT THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT WILL BE COMPENSATED WITH 20% OF THE REMITTED FUNDS,WE SHALL KEEP 70% WHILE 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE TO OFFSET ANY EXPENSES INCLUDING TAXES THAT MAY BE INCURRED BY BOTH PARTIES IN THE COURSE OF THE TRANSACTION.

IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT TWO YEARS AGO A SIMILAR TRANSACTION WAS CARRIED OUT WITH ONE MR. PATRICE MILLER, THE PRESIDENT OF CRAINE INTERNATIONAL TRADING CORPORATION AT NUMBER 135, EAST 57TH STREET, 28TH FLOOR, NEWYORK. 10022 WITH TELEPHONE (212) 308-7788 AND TELEX NUMBER 6731689, AFTER THE AGREEMENT BETWEEN BOTH PARTNERS IN WHICH HE WAS TO TAKE 5% THE MONEY WAS DULY TRANSFERRED INTO HIS ACCOUNT ONLY FOR US TO BE DISAPPOINTED ON OUR ARRIVAL IN NEW YORK AS WE WERE RELIABLY INFORMED THAT MR. PATRICE MILLER WAS NO LONGER ON THAT ADDRESS WHILE HIS TELEPHONE AND TELEX NUMBERS HAVE BEEN REALLOCATED TO SOMEBODY ELSE. THIS WAS HOW WE LOST US$27.5M TO MR. PATRICE MILLER.

THIS TIME AROUND WE NEED A MORE RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON OR A REPUTABLE COMPANY TO DO BUSINESS WITH, HENCE THIS LETTER TO YOU. SO IF YOU CAN PROVE YOURSELF TO BE TRUSTWORTHY AND INTERESTED IN THIS DEAL THEN WE ARE PREPARED TO DO BUSINESS WITH YOU. WHAT WE WANT FROM YOU IS THE ASSURANCE THAT YOU WILL LET US HAVE OUR SHARE WHEN THIS FUND IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. IF THIS PROPOSAL SATISFIES YOU, PLEASE E-MAIL YOUR RESPONSE SO THAT WE CAN ADVICE YOU ON THE MODALITIES OF THIS TRANSACTION. ALL MODALITIES OF THE TRANSFER HAVE BEEN WORKED OUT AND ONCE STARTED WILL NOT TAKE MORE THAN 14 WORKING DAYS WITH THE ABSOLUTE COOPERATION OF ALL CONCERNED.

THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE. PLEASE TREAT AS URGENT AND VERY CONFIDENTIAL. GOD BE WITH YOU AS I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR REPLY.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

MR. MOHAB AHMED.

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etc




I still like .. (none / 0) (#1)
by seventypercent on Thu Mar 7th, 2002 at 10:02:13 PM PST
.. the "time travellers needed!" one better.

--
Red-blooded patriots do not use Linux.

 

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