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Poll

Votes: 40

The Cold, Hard Facts of Geekdom

Author:

moriveth

Topic:

Diaries

Posted:

Feb 21, 2002

Comments:

In which incontrovertible, yet often elided, truths are presented.

More diaries by moriveth

	What is Adequacy?
	Review: Abstract Algebra, 2nd Edition
	Hijackings, Anthrax, Arizona Diamondbacks
	Classic Poetry--for our time
	Taking the Internet to Lands Uncharted
	The Ethics of Human Cloning
	Hackers: A Personal Perspective
	Tribute to Wank5est
	Observations: Lord of the Rings
	It's time to rise up, stand tall, and confess:
	Adequacy is like sex
	Rhyme of the Rabid Fanboy

1. While your elite Lunix skills may impress your grandmother, any half-wit who stays in on Friday nights can install an operating system or program a computer.

2. The film Fellowship of the Ring is not nearly as good as you think it is.

3. Programming is not, in fact, the most intellectually challenging of human endeavors.

4. With your thorough appreciation of high-school lit, alternative rock, science fiction, anime, and martial arts flicks, you are an exquisitely cultured individual.

5. You are far too literal-minded to comprehend even the most blatant irony.

6. You are not more intelligent than people who don't understand computers, any more than they are more intelligent than you because they have social skills. However, they are probably more attractive and successful.

7. Objectively, Star Wars: Episode I was no worse than any of the others.

8. Just because you have sex with your ugly girlfriend or spouse is no cause for pride. After all, your father was able to manage the same feat.

9. Being able to make spaghetti does not, in fact, mean you can cook.

10. Contrary to popular myth, there isn't an inverse relationship between looks and smarts. If there were, you'd be a lot prettier.

	WTF!? (5.00 / 1) (#1)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Feb 21st, 2002 at 11:20:45 PM PST

	My father screwed my ugly girlfriend!? YOU SICK LYING BASTARD!

	*sob* (none / 0) (#2)
	by luisa on Fri Feb 22nd, 2002 at 12:27:41 AM PST

	that was truly beautiful.

	"Lord of the Rings" movies. (none / 0) (#3)
	by tkatchev on Fri Feb 22nd, 2002 at 02:39:17 AM PST

	Actually, I was quite good -- there was a large amount of sly post-modernist irony in the film. Don't take it too literally, and you'll see that there are some very interesting bits there. Of course, for the typical g**k this will fly right over the head, but that's OK, they must be used to this cruel injustice. -- Peace and much love...

	irony? (none / 0) (#4)
	by otak on Fri Feb 22nd, 2002 at 03:22:10 AM PST

	where? (I'm genuinely curious)

	Lots of it. (none / 0) (#6)
	by tkatchev on Fri Feb 22nd, 2002 at 04:12:18 AM PST

	The whole character of "Galdalf, the wandering bum". The apparent latent homosexuality of Frodo. The evil orcs spawning from the mud. :) The scene with the goblins crawling on the walls. The way Galadriel was done. The retarded "black riders". The scene with the alcoholic guys in the bar. There's more that I forgot, as well. Also, there are many scenes that feature creative non-linear logic; it's very fun if you are watching with a careful eye. -- Peace and much love...

	"Post-modernist?" You mean the car bloop (none / 0) (#7)
	by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 22nd, 2002 at 04:17:31 AM PST

	That car was so fucking hillarious it alone made the 50-hour download time for the screener rip totally worth it!

	Jokes aside. (none / 0) (#8)
	by tkatchev on Fri Feb 22nd, 2002 at 04:23:29 AM PST

	But seriously, the non-linear logic of the movie alone made it worth watching. Plus, the creative use of filters and color. -- Peace and much love...

	Thanks, I'm confused now. (none / 0) (#5)
	by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 22nd, 2002 at 03:25:59 AM PST

	I always used to think I was a geek simply on the merits of my technology addiction. However, according to your rigid set of demeaning stereotypes, I am far too cultured and outgoing to be one. In fact, I need to be born in the united states just to qualify. Perhaps you should add a few more 'geek facts' Thick coke-bottle spectacles from the 1970s are no longer trendy. Believe it or not, tucking your short-sleeved shirt into your underwear is not better than just tucking it into your trousers. You do not need more than one pen in your shirt pocket. Ideally, you shouldn't have any. Pulling your polyester slacks up to your chest does not make you "more the man". Dental treatment is less expensive than you think it is. "Dilbert™" is not a role-model. Honestly, do you think anyone who visits this site is like this? Or are you hitting out at some imagined monster? I've always found that people so willing to denigrate others are really just looking for approval themselves.

	Umm... (none / 0) (#9)
	by The Mad Scientist on Fri Feb 22nd, 2002 at 11:27:16 AM PST

	You do not need more than one pen in your shirt pocket. Ideally, you shouldn't have any. There is a ballpoint pen for common writing. There is a felt-tip pen for writing on media, usually CDROMs. There is a screwdriver with neon bulb (may seem odd but saved my day enough times to warrant it; recent off-the-shelf technology, including office buildings, has flaws). If you don't have any pen in your pocket, you have to borrow one from someone who has. Is it superior? Pulling your polyester slacks up to your chest does not make you "more the man". Polyester slacks? Military surplus fatigues are superior for field use; more pockets, more abuse resistance. Thigh pockets are the best invention in the field of fashion; big enough for the most important CDs, a book, and a multimeter. Dental treatment is less expensive than you think it is. It's not as much about the cost; it's dead investment, when only the machines seem to understand you (and in last 2+ years there was no flirt-worthy person in the whole company that wouldn't be already married anyway). If you can make more money in a weekend moonlight job than your parents in two weeks of 9-5 job, money aren't too critical issue. "Dilbert<sup>TM</sup>" is not a role-model. Still better than the Pointy-Haired Boss.

	Dearest poster of comment #5 (none / 0) (#14)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 08:20:04 AM PST

	I trust the parent post answered your closing question. <br><br> --Anonymous Reader #24601

	One thing I felt was missing... (5.00 / 1) (#10)
	by gzt on Fri Feb 22nd, 2002 at 02:57:41 PM PST

	One other shortfall of geeks: Quoting "The Simpsons" doesn't make you clever. Quoting "Office Space" is not insightful. Come up with your own sense of humor. Cheers, GZT

	Hint (none / 0) (#11)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 02:15:42 AM PST

	Quoting anything doesn't make you funnier, more insightful, or in any way superior to the source you took it from. Got that, nathan?

	Well, you know... (none / 0) (#13)
	by hauntedattics on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 07:53:59 AM PST

	we can't all be as wittily and incisively original as you are, dear AR. Though it is, of course, what we all aspire to.

	True. (none / 0) (#16)
	by because it isnt on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 10:44:24 AM PST

	The best comments usually come from ARs. Of course, the stories are good too. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	Spot the stereotypes! (none / 0) (#12)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 04:14:10 AM PST

	I hope you aren't insinuating that all people with above average intelligence and good computer skills are losers.

	why is this so difficult? (5.00 / 1) (#15)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 25th, 2002 at 08:34:18 AM PST

	I hope you aren't insinuating that all people with above average intelligence and good computer skills are losers. He's insinuating that all people with above average intelligence and good computer skills arent geeks.

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