Beautiful People

Take my neighbours. I have a neighbour 10 miles to the south of me. He lives alone, like me, and is astoundingly ugly. From what I have seen of him, glimpsed occasionally on long, country excursions that sometimes take me past his house, he is certainly interesting - craggy features, a lined face, rugged build, grey, unshaven features - but he lacks all symmetry, grace and proportion required for beauty. He has character, one is interested by his face, but one does not feel any urge to make his acquaintance. His features excite my curiosity, but they do not excite any emotion.

Fifteen miles to my west live a middle aged woman, and a young girl, perhaps 13 years old. The woman (I assume) is the mother, from the concerned way she fussed over the young girl, once. She too has character, but by merit of being a woman her figure prompts a degree of emotion when contemplated from afar. I certainly wouldn't want to meet her, but she is interesting to observe.

The girl who I think is her daughter is more interesting because she is not marked by experience. She is not worn down, and promises much life. It is interesting to contemplate innocence from afar, though I fancy this girl may be less innocent than myself, all things considered.

Oddly, I have never noticed that she goes to school, and can only think that she is home schooled, or not schooled at all. I cannot imagine, but I hope she is looked after properly. Her mother looks like a fierce, protective woman, but perhaps she doesn't think for the future?

I would like to speak to them, someday, but I think it would be too much for me.

I'm also getting worried because on March 1st I must go to the city. The tension builds and builds now, it is a long trip and a traumatic (but exhilarating) experience, to be among the multitudes for a day.

I think this is why I like the internet, it helps me steel myself to the unconsciously cruel vicissitudes of others. Someday, with luck, I shall not need the internet either, I have found the last couple of days of argument with robotslave very anxious and sometimes distressing, and the exchange made me question why I exchange with others online at all. He may be right: perhaps I should stop altogether. Just stop.

	Choose your audience wisely (none / 0) (#1)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Feb 17th, 2002 at 08:23:08 PM PST

	Unfortunately, you've come to the wrong place to learn how to interact with adults. Unless you're attempting to learn how to ignore the juveniles. In that case, you're home.

	Wolves (5.00 / 2) (#2)
	by jvance on Sun Feb 17th, 2002 at 08:57:59 PM PST

	This is not the right forum. If I'm right about you, your ability to sense hidden agendas is not as good as you believe it is. Don't bare your soul here - it will be torn apart by wolves. -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	Untrue. (none / 0) (#3)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 04:58:20 AM PST

	I mean, look at the shining example of osm. We share his innermost thoughts and fantasies, yet he remains unbroken by the adequacy krew. Perhaps it is because he is strong of character. I'll admit that the average geek would not last five minutes.

	Let me elaborate (5.00 / 1) (#4)
	by jvance on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 08:05:27 AM PST

	Going by what The Observer has posted, I'm guessing he's a "Shy Gorilla." These people tend to be incredibly bright, and very successful in a specialized field. They find human contact too painful, so often they live out in the countryside, miles from neighbors. These people are thought to be autistic, but unlike most autistics, they have managed to develop a "theory of mind," probably by applying their exceptional intellects to the problem. But, their social interactions are labored, difficult and psychically painful, much like a person with a cerebellar deficit walks in a labored, difficult manner. And because they must use higher brain functions to "suss out" the intentions of others, they tend to miss the more subtle undertones. Adequacy is nothing if not subtle. However, since it's text-based, it may be easier for a "Shy Gorilla" to process than face to face interaction. Mr. O, if I'm wrong about you, then please forgive me. But first, read Ratey and Johnson's book "Shadow Syndromes," specifically the section on "Shy Gorillas" in the Autism chapter, and ask yourself, "is this me?" However, if I'm right about you, then guard yourself here. Don't take anything that anyone says seriously at first blush. -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	I don't know (none / 0) (#6)
	by The Observer on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 02:12:37 PM PST

	I think I have a decent enough "Theory of Mind" to be getting along with. Your question is whether my Theory of Mind is instinctive, or purely intellectual. I have to say I am not sure. Thinking of my Theory of Mind exposes only those intellectual parts, as you might expect. How can anyone introspect and successfully understand their instinctive, subconscious Theory of Mind without rendering it intellectual in the process? I suspect that answering your question isn't especially possible. As for Adequacy, well my impressions have been very positive so far. I think it is an interesting site, with interesting articles and intelligent readers. What more could one wish for? I will try and find the book you mention on amazon, and read it. It sounds interesting, and I had better be open minded. ~ The Observer

	So... (5.00 / 1) (#5)
	by hauntedattics on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 08:35:00 AM PST

	your definition of 'beauty' is 'someone with whom I'm acquainted' or 'someone with whom I'd like to be acquainted'? I'm confused... I'm encouraged by your comment that your trip to the city will be exhilarating as well as traumatic. Have a good day on the 1st.