Beat the Geeks - COMEDY - 11:30am Fri
This is one of the innovative new game shows presented on Comedy Central. The basic premise is as follows: the contestants go to a local university computer science lab, 3 at a time. They then have 30 seconds to knock as many geeks unconscious as they can. The thing that makes the game interesting is before each session is the contestant has to spin the "Weapon Wheel" to determine what instrument will be made available to them. In true Comedy Central fashion, even though there are the traditional geek-beating implements you'd expect, such as aluminum baseball bats and bricks, on occasion the Weapon Wheel will land on one of the wackier items, such as the sofa pillow or the computer keyboard. I won't ruin all the surprises the show has in store, but watching contestants try to knock a geek unconscious with an "adult novelty" will have you splitting your sides.

Secrets of the Third Reich - HIS - 9:00pm Sat
This History Network show profiles the obscure and lesser-known facts about Nazi Germany, including the internal political struggles and "secret weapons" that were never fielded against the Allies during the course of the war. It casts light upon the baffling mysteries surrounding Adolf Hitler and the empire he built. Except it doesn't answer the most baffling question: how the hell could they have eliminated 6 million Jews over the course of less than 10 years, as some claim they did? There's not a shred of documentary evidence that Hitler or any of his lieutenants ordered the mass extermination of Jews, and the accounts of these concentration camps seem highly suspect. For example, the notion of a gas chamber is absurd, especially if the Germans had used Zyklon B for the purpose, as is generally claimed. Hydrogen cyanide would be a ridiculous agent to use for the purpose of killing people, and it takes a long time to dissipate. It would take about 20 hours to ventilate a room that was airtight enough to kill people, so these accounts of mass-production killing chambers are obviously exaggerated. Even if they had killed 6,000,000 Jews, how would the bodies be disposed of? Human corpses can't be burned in open pits so that no trace remain, so there would be evidence of slaughter on this scale even today, but there isn't. The concept that they were all disposed of in crematoria is absurd, also, as the crematoria constructed at so-called "concentration camps" were low capacity, designed to process those who had died of natural causes. Hopefully the History Network can address this in an upcoming show, instead of rambling about Hitler's bunker and rocket planes.

Programa Comprado - UNI - ?
This is a great program on Univision. It's a little difficult to follow, as the people on the show talk really fast, in fact I can only pick up a word here or there. But the words aren't what make it compelling programming; it's all about T&A, people. Girls, girls, girls. Univision puts the "boob" in "boob tube," if you know what I mean. This is the kind of show that makes America great; Americans know that sex sells. This show is on most of the time on Univision, and there doesn't appear to be any set schedule. The other great thing about it is: no commercials!

Weekend Miss:

Superbowl XXXVI - FOX - 6pm EST Sun
The pre-game starts Friday night (har har) but that promises to be the best thing about this year's game. Endure the Patriots getting their asses handed to them if you must. The only hope for them to not totally disgrace themselves is if Brady, choke artiste extraordinaire, gets pulled out early. Bledsoe may be getting long in the tooth, but he can occasionally complete a pass without sprinting all over the field, and has learned to hold on to the ball when he gets sacked. That's the difference between a quarterback who goes on hot streaks once in a while (or at least gets lucky) and a quarterback with skill and talent. "Programa Comprado" is on Univision if you can't bear to witness the crushing defeat.

Until next week, remember: no matter how bad it is, it's still better than listening to the radio.