I am so completely enamored...

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Poll

Votes: 5

I am so completely enamored...

Author:

hauntedattics

Topic:

Diaries

Posted:

Nov 13, 2001

Comments:

with and captivated by the most glorious creature, an absolute paragon of all that is good in humankind. Myself.

(Apologies and props in advance to chloedancer.)

More diaries by hauntedattics

	Why boys are better than girls
	Terrorism in the PRC
	My New Heroine
	Where is he???
	Now I May Have Seen Everything
	Travel advice
	Stranger in paradise
	Vandalism in the PRC
	Fun with fatties
	An announcement

Here I stand in all my Banana Republic - clad glory, mistress of my hip 'n' cool suburban Boston duplex, surfing a fabulously yuppie consulting career. I think I'm in love with me.

Listen to my brilliant nonsense! "Yes, Bill, I think it's important that we reengineer your core competencies so we can leverage the resulting synergies." Is that amazing or what? Now excuse me while I go preen myself.

In other news, I was in suburban Minneapolis last week with a consulting client. Is it just me who notices these things, or are there more highways per square mile in that town than just about anywhere else?

	nostradamus (none / 0) (#1)
	by alprazolam on Tue Nov 13th, 2001 at 03:21:55 PM PST

	is it too early to predict a diary by elenchos that says "I am so completely enameled?" Also I misread leverage as cleavage. Not really that much of a stretch now that I look at them together. And what are they doing with roads in Minneapolis, it's not like anything useful can go on in that frozen wasteland. Also in the spirity of this diary entry I'll give myself m4d pr0pz for getting the first post.

	aghast (none / 0) (#2)
	by nathan on Tue Nov 13th, 2001 at 05:38:00 PM PST

	You fool! If you leverage the core competencies, the resulting synergies will only be partially leveraged, given the way that fifth-quarter Thai earnings have impacted the killer app. In order to protect management excellence in your client's key businesses, you need continued attention to direct and indirect cost management! This will allow you to provide value-added security and innovation. A strong commitment from management to relevant financial and institutional implementation will capitalize the corporate learning system through sharing the validated knowledge management process information documents. Have I got a future in consulting? Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	To paraphrase OSM... (none / 0) (#3)
	by Peter Johnson on Tue Nov 13th, 2001 at 11:10:51 PM PST

	You're no Chloedancer. --Peter Are you adequate?

	yeah, really (none / 0) (#4)
	by osm on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 03:31:50 AM PST

	and "she"'s no Natalie Portman either. especially since Natalie Portman isn't a pimply faced 15 year old boy. who's married to some pervert. that fucker.

	Ouch... (none / 0) (#6)
	by hauntedattics on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 05:21:30 AM PST

	How dare you call me pimply? My skin is really clear for a 15-year-old boy. Hmph. I know I'm no chloedancer, but I aspire to be her when I grow up.

	dot dot dot (none / 0) (#8)
	by Peter Johnson on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 07:51:44 AM PST

	I know I'm no chloedancer, but I aspire to be her when I grow up. As you should. --Peter Are you adequate?

	Greetings & hallucinations... (none / 0) (#10)
	by chloedancer on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 01:12:12 PM PST

	RE: Listen to my brilliant nonsense! "Yes, Bill, I think it's important that we reengineer your core competencies so we can leverage the resulting synergies." Is that amazing or what? 'Tis true that it's simultaneously astounding and extraordinarly ambiguous -- simply marvelous! Couldn't have done better myself, honestly. RE: ...especially since Natalie Portman isn't a pimply faced 15 year old boy. who's married to some pervert. that fucker. For the record, I'm a 36 year-old woman navigating that special purgatory of my final divorce. And Natalie's cleavage is, well, utterly and woefully inadequate when compared to mine. Nah nah nah nah nah nah! RE: I know I'm no chloedancer, but I aspire to be her when I grow up. Be careful what you wish for, HA. Me, I want to grow up to be Tina Turner. Really. Hey, Shoeboy -- shouldn't you be focused on more important endeavors like violating network security or somesuch? ;)

	fascinating (none / 0) (#11)
	by nathan on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 01:21:24 PM PST

	Tell us more about this "cleavage." Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Yeah, cleavage... (none / 0) (#14)
	by hauntedattics on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 02:53:31 PM PST

	that's all you men are interested in, isn't it. Nothing good to say about the brilliant and incisive wit that chloedancer and I exhibit on a regular basis. Hmph. Chloedancer, I think osm was referring to me when he was talking about the pimply faced 15-year-old boy. He has some notion, received from I don't know where, that I'm not really a grownup or married or, indeed, even a female. Although you're welcome to share in my abuse if you want. I'd stick to shoeboy's adulation, though, it's easier on the ego. Good luck on the divorce, by the way.

	I believe I am (none / 0) (#15)
	by nathan on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 03:07:52 PM PST

	wittily fencing with you elsewhere. Now back to cleavage. Nathan PS - don't make me bust out the Jerkcity noises again... -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Here ya go... (none / 0) (#16)
	by hauntedattics on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 03:29:29 PM PST

	Here's some cleavage for ya. Enjoy. Hurf burf duh, etc.

	I know! (none / 0) (#19)
	by jin wicked on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 09:23:03 PM PST

	Let's all post pictures of our tits in a poll and then let everyone else vote on them. You go first. "Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

	I'd be happy to post pictures of cleavage... (none / 0) (#21)
	by hauntedattics on Thu Nov 15th, 2001 at 05:36:13 AM PST

	...based on the link in my previous post. There's nothing sexier than bauxite and bituminous, huh?

	pr0n (none / 0) (#22)
	by nathan on Thu Nov 15th, 2001 at 07:36:41 AM PST

	will be automagically modded to 5. On the other hand, isn't there something dreary and depressing about pr0n? Even thinking about it makes me hunger for the mere glance and favour of a woman with such fire as knows no satiety. Dammit, Augustine is messing with my head. Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Uh-oh (none / 0) (#23)
	by hauntedattics on Thu Nov 15th, 2001 at 10:31:14 AM PST

	Steady there, dear. Yes, pr0n is quite dreary and depressing, particularly in high or even steady doses. But don't give your head over to Augustine either, who, let's face it, was a great thinker and religious giant but who didn't know much about spiritual love on earth...just ask C.S. And go look at the cleavage site I posted. You might learn something worthwhile beyond all that music stuff.

	Damn, that's hot stuff (none / 0) (#24)
	by Verminator on Fri Nov 16th, 2001 at 06:20:05 PM PST

	Now if I could just get those rocks to talk dirty to me I'd be all set.

	Rifts and balderdash (none / 0) (#17)
	by chloedancer on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 05:02:06 PM PST

	Ah. That explains osm's remarks; just because I am well-acquainted with my own cherished delusions doesn't mean that I'm always on the mark with regard to accurately comprehending anyone else's. ;) Work-induced sleep deprivation has me a little more disconnected than usual, I'm afraid. RE: Shoeboy's adulation... It's something of a mixed blessing, really. Dare I say it, but you've pegged it just so: "Servile flattery; praise in excess, or beyond what is merited." In what was perhaps a non sequitur of my own a few months ago, I told him that women were likely wary of him because he gives the impression of not being able to resist knocking anything or anyone off of whatever pedestal he's placed it/them on just for the glee of watching them splatter. But, to his credit, he's the only man I've known who has called me "Freak!" in a tone of voice that conveyed awe, admiration and genuine affection simultaneously. I have the rather immodest theory that if I hang out with him long enough, he may just get the courage together to quit hiding the best stuff and let his own fire shine through. He's a challenge, all right -- and he's just so cute when he's rendered incapable of producing a snappy comeback... it's always fun to watch those XY brain cells collide, ya know what I mean? ;)

	how could you not know "from where"? (none / 0) (#20)
	by osm on Thu Nov 15th, 2001 at 12:24:25 AM PST

	i've only written a hundred million fucking times about the visions i receive from my Natalie Portman poster. of course, i should know better than to expect a fucking woman to comprehend anything more complex than her monthly cycle and how much money she can bleed out of some poor, lifeless bastard. you know, you're really starting to get on my nerves.

	Natalie's cleavage (none / 0) (#12)
	by osm on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 02:27:15 PM PST

	is just fine. personally, i find large bags of fat rather disgusting.

	bags of fat (none / 0) (#13)
	by nathan on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 02:31:42 PM PST

	Presumably, if that's how you view cleavage, you'd want to minimize it, correct? Even the smallest-breasted woman has a certain amount of fat in her breasts - they're not just glandular tissue - so perhaps what you want is a nice young Alcibiades? No fat on those wrestlers in the palaestra... Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	wake up, nathan (none / 0) (#18)
	by osm on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 05:53:02 PM PST

	"NATALIE'S CLEAVAGE IS JUST FINE. I FIND LARGE BAGS OF FAT REPULSIVE."

	young boys (none / 0) (#9)
	by nathan on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 08:08:39 AM PST

	Portman is certainly no Alcibiades. Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Quite the coincidence. (none / 0) (#5)
	by elby on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 03:48:51 AM PST

	I, too, am enamored with myself. Perhaps we should get together and talk about me sometime. -elby

	Holy wow, nathan... (none / 0) (#7)
	by hauntedattics on Wed Nov 14th, 2001 at 05:25:25 AM PST

	You've definitely got a career in consulting. If my boss would let me, I'd hire you in a minute. To replace myself, of course, before lose it and go on a big rampage, destroying PowerPoint files right and left. Good thing the (U.S.) Thanksgiving holiday is coming up.

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