"We still can not believe this is happening, last year the Dalia Llama, this year the Pope. Oprah is just so good at getting these world defining personalities onto her show," said Tina Fland, Assistant Publicist for the show.

The Pope is rumoured to be going to use the highly visible and respected platform that Oprah Winfrey's show provides to sidestep the bureacratic heirachy of the Vatican and announce wide reaching and fundamental changes to the nature of the Roman Catholic Church.

"The long awaited apology for the child abuse is actually only going to be a small aspect of the Pope's talk, His Holiness recognises that this abuse is just the most obvious sign of a loveless,joyless, declining, rigid organisation: today we heard of marriage for the clergy, extensive use of the Vatican's finances for 3rd world poverty intervention, sanction for homosexual marriage, approval for birth control and pre-teen and older ongoing sex education, women priests and a return to the Church being focused on the relationship between human beings and God, not global power politics and financial management. He also gave Oprah a list with details of all the child abusing and paedophile priests know to the catholic Church in America, so we can expect some more shows to come out of this." said Ms Fland.

"From what I saw, the poor old guy was pretty shook up and would break down crying every few minutes durring the interview, saying he was so very sorry for allowing the abuse to continue and for not bringing it all out into the open years ago. He seemed very certain that married clergy would be part of the solution. Once all of this plan is revealed the Vatican is going to find it very hard to bring the Pope back under their controlling influence, especially as he has "Papal Infallibility" on his side.", claimed one camera crew member, who asked not to be named.

Oprah, in a prepared statement released to the media, asked for people to respect the need for some secrecy on the final content of the interviews and promised "Something even more earth shaking than all the reports so far suggest. This will be the end of the Roman Catholic Church as we know it."