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 futball indeed

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jun 02, 2002
 Comments:
Who's sick of these Google World Cup logos besides me? Worlds most popular spectator sport, yes, yes, I know. Pele had more fans world-wide than all the famous American athletes put together, yeah yeah yeah.
Of course, here in the States we have the occasional breakout of sports fan violence. Sure, occasionally parents will beat other parents to death at Pee-Wee hockey games. But, most of the violence at hockey games is confined to the ice, and it's mostly Canadians that are involved anyway. We still haven't gotten good enough at the game that we don't need to import most of the players.

I have a theory though. If you look at a country where soccer is the all encompassing God of Sport, there isn't much else going on to occupy the average frat boy or beer swilling sofa junkie. I think sports fan violence is reduced in America by the sheer variety of Big Time Proffesional sporting events we patronize.

Generally speaking, most American sports fans don't limit themselves to one particular game. You might be a football fan, but you're probably also a baseball, basketball, or hockey fan as well. Maybe all of them, if you're a frat boy or beer swilling sofa junkie.

Personally, I only really like hockey, and the only team I give a rat's ass about is the Detroit Red Wings. I don't watch hockey any more because they don't tend to broadcast Wings games too frequently here in New York, and somehow the idea of changing my allegiance to either the Rangers, Islanders or (shudder) Sabres just makes me feel dirty.

I have done a fairly good job of fitting in here in New York, but I still can't see the point of baseball. I'm supposed to be a Yankees fan, and as a Yankees fan I'm supposed to hate the Mets. If I were a Mets fan I wouldn't need to hate the Yankees, I would just need to hate Yankees FANS.

Of course, being a baseball fan in New York is easy, because the Yankees have been a very good team for a while now. It's like being a hockey fan in Michigan when the Wings won two cups in a row (in a truly sad state of affairs, I don't even know if the Wings are still in the playoffs or if the hated Ave's knocked them out of the Western Conference Finals). I started getting into the Red Wings just before they got really good again, so I can safely claim to not be a fair weather fan.

Back to the theory though. If I graded this as an essay I would take off points for my own rambling, lack of control, and inability to stay on topic.

If the only sport you could watch in the US was golf, I think you'd see a lot more golf riots than you do now. Whoops! Tiger Woods missed that last putt, so his fans start storming around the green, tearing up turf, and burning poor Chi Chi Rodriguez in effigy. (Just to prove I'm not a total idiot ... I realize the chances of these two fine golfers competing in the same match are as likely as the Tigers winning the World Series ... but really, think of Les Nessman trying to pronounce poor Chi Chi's name, and you'll see the humor angle I'm exploiting here)

So, what the world seems to need is more American junk culture washing up on distant shores. I believe increasing the average soccer fan's choice of game would dramatically reduce the number of soccer fan deaths. I propose professional wrestling as the new sport of the future, and name Great Britain as the most likely target for this exciting new competition.


futball? (none / 0) (#1)
by majubma on Mon Jun 3rd, 2002 at 05:23:21 AM PST
more like,

SIR YOUR FOOT AND MY BALLS

I'd prefer a sport that didn't involve so much genital-kicking.

-- All information wants to be free, especially information about what you do in the privacy of your own home.

Your post.... (none / 0) (#4)
by PotatoError on Mon Jun 3rd, 2002 at 06:49:05 AM PST
First of all its spelt Football not Futball.

Your link pointed to jerkcity.com which has nothing to do with the subject.

You don't really understand football at all do you? it has nothing to do with genitals.


Your signiture stinks of someone with a low IQ.
If you don't know the difference between information and personal data then you shouldn't be entitled to a view on the matter - at least not a visible one.
<<JUMP! POGO POGO POGO BOUNCE! POGO POGO POGO>>

Information (none / 0) (#6)
by majubma on Mon Jun 3rd, 2002 at 02:12:45 PM PST
is the mutual entropy between two systems. But perhaps you would care to enlighten.

It's well known that many futboll players are flaming homosexuals. I mean, did you see Uruguay the other day?

Also, genitals.

-- All information wants to be free, especially information about what you do in the privacy of your own home.

 
My new system (none / 0) (#2)
by First Incision on Mon Jun 3rd, 2002 at 06:30:57 AM PST
I feel like I should have at least an opinion of who I should cheer for in the World Cup, but I know nothing of the teams. Of course, I realize the tourney is so big because it involves fierce national loyalties.

Then I realized I could come up with a system! I will now cheer based on proximity to the USA and/or location in the two American continents. So my favorite teams are now Uruguay, Brasil, Paraguay, USA, Ireland, Argentina, Mexico, and Japan.

Under this system, I will not have to think "Now, was I cheering for that team or not?" I will just know "Oh, Paraguay is in South America. I like them."
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Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

See (none / 0) (#5)
by PotatoError on Mon Jun 3rd, 2002 at 06:50:32 AM PST
By the way Ireland is miles away from America.


"Regardless of what you might have heard, I am not the Pope"
Are you weird?
<<JUMP! POGO POGO POGO BOUNCE! POGO POGO POGO>>

Right (none / 0) (#7)
by majubma on Mon Jun 3rd, 2002 at 03:05:55 PM PST
But he has no strong cultural heritage, so he chooses to identify with the Celts.

-- All information wants to be free, especially information about what you do in the privacy of your own home.

 
Yeah, but whatcha gonna do? (none / 0) (#8)
by First Incision on Mon Jun 3rd, 2002 at 04:39:24 PM PST
I was picking a favorite team in each group. Ireland is not particularly close, but it's closer than Germany, Cameroon, or Saudi Arabia.

I'm not sure if Japan is closer than Belgium, Russia, or Tunisia, but I'll be damned I'm going to cheer for any of those countries. Besides, Japan is the birthplace of my sweet new laptop.
_
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Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

 
Well I dont know what the fuck the SOA is (none / 0) (#3)
by PotatoError on Mon Jun 3rd, 2002 at 06:44:19 AM PST
I cant find any reference to it online so I guess this story has to be a troll.
<<JUMP! POGO POGO POGO BOUNCE! POGO POGO POGO>>

 

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