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 SECURITY

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 24, 2001
 Comments:
0

fat-time, carrying his lubricating midget rapid fire pellet gun, walked alongside burgermayer toward the large steel fencing.

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"mhmhmhmhmhmh," grunted the rapid fire pellet gun, "don't forget about the security system, fat-time!"

"i'm on it, little buddy!"

fat-time grasped the rapid fire pellet gun's legs and aimed for the security control box. with a few quick squeezes the control box was obliterated by the shooting death pellets.

burgermayer scratched the nagging itch on his front right shoulder, "what's up with this shit, anyway?! what are we doing here?"

"if you're gonna be a super hero, you need to get your special powers. me n lubie got ours here when we rolled into the nuclear waste."

burgermayer mumbled an obscenity, "let's get it over with, then."

fat-time and lubie escorted burgermayer to the shore of the glowing green pond.

burgermayer looked at the goop with disdain, "what's in that shit anyway?!"

"only what you take with you, " fat-time stated, matter-of-factly.

fat-time and lubie waited as burgermayer leapt into the oozing super hero nutrients. he submerged himself and, after a few smoking bubbles popped on the surface, came back out.

burgermayer sat back on the dry shore, as fat-time and the rapid fire pellet gun watched with interest.

burgermayer lit up a cigarette and deeply inhaled, "goddamn that was good!"

"mhmmhmhmhmhmhmh," grunted the rapid fire pellet gun.

"what da ya suppose his super hero power is, lubie?!"

"i dunno fat-time!"

burgermayer scratched the nagging itch on his front right shoulder. suddenly, the area began to swell.

"lookie there, fat-time!"

the lump grew until it was four inches in diameter. fat-time leaned down to examine it closely, "hey, lubie, check it out! it's a giant tick!"

"dang, fat-time! that must be his super hero weapon!"

burgermayer wrinkled his nose, "fuck! you mean i gotta walk around with this goddamned tick the way you lug that fucking muppet around?!"

fat-time giggled, "it's for the good of all mankind, friend!"

"jesus christ," burgermayer exclaimed, in complete disgust.



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