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Well, I'd just like to comment, I did spell-check the thing, and corrected a lot of the errors that were in the first draft. Unfortunantly, I had to do this in Kmail (since Bluefish crashed whenever you attempt to replace a misspelled word), and for some reason the cut-and-paste between Bluefish, Kmail and Mozilla wasn't working properly, and Mozilla was getting the unspell-checked stuff posted to it, not the corrected stuff.
Now, the tenses were a bit problematic, and that's something I'm going to have to work on. I wrote the very first of the story one day, and the significantly larger second half the next. Unfortunantly, in that time, I forgot about the tattoo. I realy wish I hadn't, because it would have been really cool.
I'm going to do a slightly revised version of this and send it to the Erotic Mind Control Story Archive. It will be a second draft (as opposed to this rough draft) and will hopefully be a much cleaner read.
As for Rebecca giving the guy the bottle, well, it's a porn. She doesn't care if he uses it improperly, because he was such a great fuck she figures it'll actually benifit the women that get dosed. (Once again, porn logic. Also, don't forget that she herself used the potion improperly...)
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In the dark times, will there still be singing?
Yes, there will be singing. There will be singing about the dark times. -- Bertolt Brecht
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