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 Am I gay?

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jun 28, 2001
 Comments:
It's been pointed out by me that my obsession with the celebrity of Eric Raymond is not entirely wholesome, and that I may be harbouring a secret lust for him. The idea has shaken up my world a bit, I can tell you.
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Let's consider the evidence; I know far more about Raymond than can be considered normal, or even healthy. I haven't actually stalked him, but I've been quite public about my obsession, in what some would consider a scary way. And I do seem to be reading and rereading his Sex Tips For Geeks a lot.

So am I gay? I certainly hope so. My flat is a fucking tip. I badly need someone to come in, clean up and decorate the place, and if I've secretly got good taste and high standards, I could do it myself. I've got enough spare money to buy a fair amount of gay crap, and the idea of anal sex doesn't scare me; as a child, a rare anal condition combined with a slightly satirical wit meant that I went through 72 hours worth of surgery to get the physic's teacher's foot out of my ass. At rugby club parties, I used to be able to perform the party trick of sitting on an apple without touching it, and I dare say I could get in shape again.

I don't see much downside to this one. The news really couldn't have come at a better time.


YUO=FAGOT (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jun 28th, 2001 at 12:42:13 PM PST
u r gay

--JEFFK


 
Good enough for the next Prime Minister (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by dmg on Thu Jun 28th, 2001 at 04:55:15 PM PST
If a flamboyant openly homosexual lifestyle is good enough for the next Prime Minister of Britain it should be good enough for you.

OTOH, if Portillo does ever get to become Prime Minister, I guess you can say goodbye to the 'Gay Tax' idea. But then again, you have probably changed your mind on that one already (in light of recent events).

Anyway if you are still confused here are some informative links which may help you come to terms with your newly discovered sexuality

-- Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." Leviticus 18:22. See also Leviticus 20:13, Genesis 19, Romans 1:18-32, I Corinthians 6:9-11, I Timothy 1:10, and Jude 7.

Thank you

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

 
God gave you free will for a reason (5.00 / 1) (#3)
by Adam Rightmann on Fri Jun 29th, 2001 at 09:20:17 AM PST
He expects you to be tempted by evil, and he wants you to resist temptation. This, when you see read about a powerful man, it's normal to be attracted to him. When you watch football*, it's normal too be drawn to those muscular legs, and normal to look for the players manmeat barely hidden by the skimpy nylon shorts. What's wrong is to give into this tempation, no matter how strongly you desire to pave his Hershey highway with manmayo macadam.

So, be strong, resist evil, and marry some woman and procreate 2-3 children. If you still have those urges for English style love, ask your wife not to shave her legs, and have her bend over. Then, you're only sinning in your imagination.

* soccer on the American part of the world.


A. Rightmann

remember to use this phrase often... (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jun 29th, 2001 at 04:40:27 PM PST
English style love

Brilliant.


 

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