Adequacy front page
Stories Diaries Polls Users
Google

Web Adequacy.org
Home About Topics Rejects Abortions
This is an unofficial archive site only. It is no longer maintained. You can not post comments. You can not make an account. Your email will not be read. Please read this page or the footnote if you have questions.
Poll
I beg of you to answer this question
Yes sir 25%
No sir 37%
Maybe sir 37%

Votes: 8

 Dearest Adequacy Readors

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Dec 12, 2001
 Comments:
Good day gentlemen,

I, Dr. Martino Cortez, PhD, the inter-net's most intelligent person, would like to take this brief moment of your time to inform you that yes, I am still reading your ordinary, unwashed, grammatically incorrect, and mis-spelled "postings" to this so called "weblog".

While my lovely naked females type this, I relax in a hot bubble bath sipping dry martini's. I imagine all of you, pimply faced, dirty so called "GNU" hippies, sitting in your mothers basement, probably reading this entry in pure envy and jelously.

diaries

More diaries by Martino Cortez PhD
Good Morning Nobile Sirs
Deor Adequecy Readers
Martin-Cortez Newsletter, Issue 1 v I
Martin-Cortez Newsletter - Issue 2, Vol I
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 3, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 4, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 5, Vol 1
Dear Anonymous Reader Sir,
Help Save Me!!!
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 5, Vol 1.
Dr William King Sir,
Martin Cortez Newsletter
Good Evening Dear Sirs,
Sir, Wherefore art thou adequate?
Dearest Adequacy Readers,
Dear Sirs,
Mr. Milosovic Sir,
Sirs,
A plea from a busy corporate executive
Sirs,
Dear Sirs,
Sirs,
My dearest folk, this life of mine is not so easy. For you see, when you become as educated, and a noble as I, people start to have hightened expectations of you. To think, could you ever imagine somebody so wealthy and presdigious as myself doing something like flushing the so-called "toliet"? I hardly think so. For those at home, I would like you to know that I have a team of people who hide in secret doors, eager in anticipation for when natures calls, so they can come out when I leave and flush the toliet.

Regardless, I beg of you kind, poor, heathens--please post more information regarding busniess news, potential business parteners, and stock market analysis. I for one am getting tired of this serious debates on so called "Grown-up" issues.

Thank you kindest, most intelligent Adequacy readers for your so ordinary, everyday "problems". You provide me with the utmost entertainment on this otherwise gloomy day.

--
Dr. Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO
Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation


There is one word for all of this (none / 0) (#1)
by seventypercent on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 11:01:10 PM PST
COMMUNISM

--
Red-blooded patriots do not use Linux.

Martino Cortez, PhD == COMMUNISM (none / 0) (#2)
by tkatchev on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 11:42:06 PM PST
It's true.


--
Peace and much love...

no kidding (none / 0) (#5)
by nathan on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 09:34:33 AM PST
Just look at his damn Cubic name.

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

Hmm... (none / 0) (#6)
by hauntedattics on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 11:10:12 AM PST
Do Communists drink martinis?

Definitely. (none / 0) (#7)
by tkatchev on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 11:20:59 AM PST
Communism is just hypertrophied industrial capitalism. So, the communist party and industry bosses get to drink martinis while the plebs drink synthesised petroleum-based "lemonade". (Think "Lipton Iced Tea Mix".)


--
Peace and much love...

ugh (none / 0) (#8)
by nathan on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 12:15:23 PM PST
The martinis is the most insipid cocktail in the history of the world.

Real Men drink beer, wine, and Scotch.

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

But...but... (none / 0) (#9)
by hauntedattics on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 02:14:05 PM PST
What about vodka? I'm partial to vodka and G&Ts myself...but then I'm a girl.

How can I make scotch like me better? It seems the love is all one way.

vodka (none / 0) (#10)
by nathan on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 02:30:13 PM PST
Grey Goose is my favorite. Finlandia is also OK. Who said I was a Real Man?

Scotch is all about painful, character-building experiences. That's why the Scots drink it. I recommend a distillery tour...

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

Oh yeah (none / 0) (#11)
by hauntedattics on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 03:21:43 PM PST
Who'd have thought the Frogs would make a decent vodka? I drink Luksusova (sp?) potato vodka at home and generally go for Finlandia or Absolut while barhopping. Because I'm a total marketing slave, of course.

And you're not a Real Man...chalk up another point to my buddy Nathan. Let's be best Adequacy friends. Oh, the love. It's getting hard to breath in here.

hurf burf (none / 0) (#12)
by nathan on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 05:37:29 PM PST
Oh, the love. It's getting hard to breath in here.

That's the general idea.

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

Goodness. (none / 0) (#15)
by hauntedattics on Fri Dec 14th, 2001 at 04:36:38 AM PST
Can someone help me out of the basement? And out of these handcuffs?

(BTW, that should be 'breathe' in my last post. It bugged Grammar Lady all night. Well, OK, that and the gag.)

 
No no (none / 0) (#13)
by Winter on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 11:52:53 PM PST
I think you're describing American Capitalism- though i may be wrong.

I'll open up a horrible secret: (none / 0) (#14)
by tkatchev on Fri Dec 14th, 2001 at 01:04:29 AM PST
There's very little difference between the two.

It turns out you've been fighting your own shadow all these years.


--
Peace and much love...

 
er, great. (none / 0) (#3)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 06:34:10 AM PST
"people start to have hightened expectations of you"

Sorry if I expected you to spell everything right.

 
Reador? (1.00 / 1) (#4)
by Hagbard Celine on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 08:08:06 AM PST
Yeah, you are certainly the spelling bee champ aren't ya buddy?

I like your idea of Reador!!!

It's just what the children of this world need. A superhero that uses his powers of reading to figure out clues.

That way, our children won't make fools of themselves by spelling things wrong all the time.

Well done.

P.S. Remember, one does not become a noble, one can only be born into a noble family.

I'm sure you realize this and come from a "presdigious" family. PFFFTTT


 

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. Comments are owned by the Poster. The Rest ® 2001, 2002, 2003 Adequacy.org. The Adequacy.org name, logo, symbol, and taglines "News for Grown-Ups", "Most Controversial Site on the Internet", "Linux Zealot", and "He just loves Open Source Software", and the RGB color value: D7D7D7 are trademarks of Adequacy.org. No part of this site may be republished or reproduced in whatever form without prior written permission by Adequacy.org and, if and when applicable, prior written permission by the contributing author(s), artist(s), or user(s). Any inquiries are directed to legal@adequacy.org.