Oh, my...

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Votes: 20

Oh, my...

Author:

ana

Topic:

Diaries

Posted:

Feb 26, 2002

Comments:

I just had to share this with somebody...

More diaries by ana

	It's all broken
	Mmmkay...
	Controversy...
	Musings
	Haloween party
	fill-in-the-blank smut

Subways are usually sooo boring.

So imagine my surprise when, this afternoon, Susie and her latest boyfriend got off the train, as usual, less than a body diameter apart, as usual, and walked by, as usual, without acknowledging my existence. I was standing there, in my usual after-work stupor, holding an afternoon cup of tea, steaming in my hand.

Sploosh! went the tea.

A surprised, mostly surpressed little yelp! escaped from my, um friend? Laurie who was waiting for the train with me.

When I looked in my cup, there was a second object; a butterfly-like toy with a little antenna wire on one end, being sterilized after use in my hot tea.

In Laurie's hand was a radio-control remote.

When Laurie figured out what was going on, she pushed me into a dark space behind a pillar, inserted the butterfly, and then proceeded to torment me all the way home by remote control. I was a mess by the time we got there.

But I'm not complaining, even though we missed dinner.

	I believe (4.00 / 3) (#1)
	by zikzak on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 01:50:30 PM PST

	you are posting this to the wrong forum.

	Mmmmmmm. (4.50 / 2) (#2)
	by elenchos on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 02:35:54 PM PST

	Can you go over this once more for me? I've read this story three times and I can't figure out what happened. You were on the subway, and something was in your tea (what?) and then this butterfly thing was also in your tea? Did it fly there? It was radio controlled? The other parts make even less sense to me. What am I missing? Zikzak is suggesting it is a sexual thing, I guess. That almost makes sense, but not quite. Help! I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	No wonder (3.66 / 3) (#3)
	by osm on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 07:44:37 PM PST

	HIV is so widespread among homosexuals. Keep your diseases (both physical and mental) to yourself.

	Oh, okay. (4.00 / 3) (#4)
	by elenchos on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 09:01:00 PM PST

	No wonder I couldn't figure out what the hell she is talking about. Crazy. That explains it. Damn crazy people. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	Well done! (none / 0) (#5)
	by SpaceGhoti on Tue Feb 26th, 2002 at 10:35:59 PM PST

	It seems as though Laurie was on top that evening. My only question is if this actually happened, or if it's one of your creative pieces. I liked it either way, but I'm wondering if congratulations are in order. A troll's true colors.

	Um, does it matter? (none / 0) (#16)
	by ana on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 07:20:24 PM PST

	She's nice, yeah. thanks. A Why not?

	Ya know, you'd be a better writer... (4.33 / 3) (#6)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 06:24:16 AM PST

	If all your plot ideas weren't so damn forced and stupid. --Anonymous Reader #24601

	I liked it. (1.66 / 3) (#7)
	by SpaceGhoti on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 03:35:45 PM PST

	I don't know if it was something that happened to you the other night or if it's just one of your creative ideas. Either way, congratulations are in order. You've done well once again. My apologies for having to re-post things. Someone seems to be going nuts with 0s. A troll's true colors.

	OK. (4.00 / 3) (#20)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Feb 28th, 2002 at 09:21:24 AM PST

	don't know if it was something that happened to you the other night You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Alright, let's go over the plot. She sees a friend on the subway. The friend, without talking to her, gives her a sex toy. gives her a sex toy. A sex toy. In the subway. Without talking to her. (Those butterfly things cost like $50, ya know) By dropping it in her tea. Her tea! It never crossed her friends mind that she might want to drink the tea, oh no, all items are merely props for use in starting some sort of ridiculous sexual adventure. So what does she do? Well, she puts it down her pants, of course. Covered in tea. Down her pants! It didn't short out in the tea of course. It works. She knows this ahead of time, so she puts it down her pants. Or her friend, 'Laurie', does. In a dark corner in the subway. For some reason, they all live in a city that considers itself safe enough that subway stations actually have dark corners. How they found such a city, I don't know, but there sex toys are always clean enough to use, even after being dropped in tea. Supposedly the tea sterilized it, which makes roughly as much sense as anything else that happened. Laurie, by the way, has a remote control. Apparently it's been there the whole time, because the friend handing it to her would require acknowledging her existence. Nonetheless, she just now noticed it. (Laurie's not the brightest lesbian) So of course, she uses it, and it works. (It didn't short in the tea, you recall. The next thing that happens is, of course, spacefish asking "So, did this actually happen to you?" Have any of ana's little stories actually happened? Has she ever written a line of dialog that sounds like anything any real person would actually say? Has she ever dreamt up a plot that didn't contradict the reality of human relations? Seriously ana, it's not that bad. In fact, if you keep working really hard at it, you might get to be a good enough writer to write the dialog for porno fims. Or, at least the captions for low-quality nudie mags. --Anonymous Reader #24601

	God. (4.00 / 3) (#21)
	by elenchos on Thu Feb 28th, 2002 at 03:09:29 PM PST

	Is that really the plot of this story? I mean, the first time I read it, I thought that's what it said, but it made no sense, so I kept going over it to see what I'd missed. No matter how I interpreted it, it defied all sense. But you're saying that is really what she meant? God. Oh, and I'm an asshole because I couldn't undersand the damn story? I don't think so. I think if Spaghetti likes it and I don't, then I must be doing something right. And Ana, whining like Jin Wicked because you're misunderstood doesn't help you at all. I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	Why (4.50 / 2) (#8)
	by hauntedattics on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 06:25:40 PM PST

	do your diary entries always have something to do with being tormented sexually? Do you enjoy being someone's masochistic love slave? (She said hesitantly, not even sure she wanted to know the answer...)

	Dear hauntedattics (3.00 / 2) (#9)
	by osm on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 06:38:03 PM PST

	In the future, please be more careful how you use the term "love slave". As you may know, Eva Habermann's character, Zev Bellringer, was converted into a love-slave in the first Lexx movie. Alluding to any similarity between dear, sweet, pheromone-oozing Eva and this vile creature is disturbing, to say the least. Furthermore, we would not want this depraved animal to think it's deviant sexual behavior is of interest to anyone who leads a crack-free life outside the slums of New York.

	torment (none / 0) (#13)
	by ana on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 07:01:36 PM PST

	dear ms. attics, actually most of my less tormented stuff ends up in my diary on k5. i save the controversial stuff for here. besides, laurie is really quite nice & gentle. i'd hardly call it torment. A Why not?

	I liked it. (2.00 / 5) (#10)
	by SpaceGhoti on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 06:46:07 PM PST

	I thought it was an excellent piece, and on par with your normal high standards of excellence. I didn't know if it was something that happened to you or if it was merely one of your creative piece, but I felt that congratulations were in order. And yes, I will keep re-posting this as often as necessary. A troll's true colors.

	thanks, fissh (2.50 / 4) (#14)
	by ana on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 07:04:09 PM PST

	i appreciate your taste in these matters, and your willingness to say something about it. it was kind if discouraging that the first 5 comments were either baffled or hostile. A Why not?

	It was a challenge (none / 0) (#17)
	by SpaceGhoti on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 07:36:07 PM PST

	I wanted to let you know someone appreciates your work. Unfortunately, I have to admit that this is the wrong place to bring it. Controversy is only appreciated if it's approved controversy. Between that and osm hiding every post I make, it became a challenge to show any support for you. A troll's true colors.

	bah. (4.00 / 3) (#19)
	by nathan on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 08:38:13 PM PST

	If I wanted badly-written lesbian porn, I'd stay at my usual haunts, rather than reading the Adequacy. Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Ah, thank you. (none / 0) (#15)
	by SpaceGhoti on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 07:05:46 PM PST

	Thank you for unmasking some of my previous comments. A troll's true colors.

	d00d! (none / 0) (#18)
	by LNXd00d on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 08:38:12 PM PST

	Like, what operating system was that remote-control butterfly thing running? If it was running Linux, that'd be like, totally sweet and increase my appreciation for your story tenfold. -- Friends don't let friends not use Linux!!!

	Butterfly? (1.00 / 1) (#22)
	by jvance on Thu Feb 28th, 2002 at 04:15:38 PM PST

	My mind pictured a razor-winged butterfly shredding a path through your vajina, liver, heart and esophagus, before emerging, fluttering wings in a halo of bloodmist, from your mouth. But then, that's just me. -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	That's vagina with a g --jvance(nt) (none / 0) (#23)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Feb 28th, 2002 at 04:17:42 PM PST

	very confusing (none / 0) (#24)
	by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 1st, 2002 at 04:23:48 AM PST

	This does force one to reread it just to see what is going on. If the butterfly is the other object in the tea, what was the first object ? 11 sentences do not a story (or even a musing) make.

	The other object (none / 0) (#25)
	by ana on Fri Mar 1st, 2002 at 11:51:43 AM PST

	...is the tea bag. I guess I should have drawn mystical parallels between the two: string attached, works wonders as a stimulant, great pick-me-up after a hard day, etc. A Why not?

	A funny choice of tea (none / 0) (#26)
	by because it isnt on Fri Mar 1st, 2002 at 01:02:44 PM PST

	If I don't summon the effort to make a proper pot, I at least remove the bag before I drink my tea. And my teabags don't have strings attached. They just have tea. Personal preference, I suppose. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

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