As I chewed on my rag end cactus, a gentleman came up to me and my wife and asked why I was chewing a cactus. Upon my response he seemed to recoil in horror.
My first thought was that this developing country had such poor medical services that they had yet to discover the benefits of masticating on common household vegetation to cure and prevent many diseases. As it seems, I was wrong! This man claimed to be a doctor, he also claimed that my understanding of medicine was flawed.
After entertaining his discussion, he told me that chewing house plants was a form of "Plaseebo". From what I could translate from his primitive grasp of the English language, he meant that my chewing of the plant did nothing for me and that any benefits were purely in my mind.
I laughed at first, at his funny third world medicine man ideas. Upon returning home, I did a little research of my own. As Encarta knows everything, it was naturally the only place I needed to look. Shocked and aghast I was when this tribal witchdoctor was proved to be in the right!

This had me thinking to some extent. The cactus had been working fine, but now I know it doesn't, it ceases to work. I came across certain similarities between my encounter with a "Plaseebo" and the computer my wife uses to make flyers for church events.

We all know that Microsoft Windows is the best "Openrating System" to use, but why? Well. If I could see the little "codes" they use to make Windows run, then I might discover that it doesn't, which is bad. Which is why the codes are hidden from me.

Another OS called Lunix has open code. You can easily go into the codes and see that it doesn't work. We always thought Hackers use Lunix and its open codes to see into your My Documents folder and get your IP token rings. However I have discovered that maybe this is wrong... Maybe by getting into your My Documents folder they can actually see your Windows codes and then send you an email. When you open hotmail and read this email, you will discover those codes and your computer will not work!

So, I urge everybody not to investigate their computers, and not to listen to doctors. Here is my proof.

Windows is the best operating system. Noone knows how it works.
Government people and TV stations encrypt data. Noone can see it, and it works. If we found out how it works, it would be silly to keep on using it.
My astrologer tells me to eat houseplants and they work! If I find out how they work, they cease to(as it did with cactus).

So all this science and discovery is bad for upstanding American citizens such as ourselves. We must force these liberal fascists to stop finding out how things work, so that things continue to work for our children. I want to know that my 15 year old daughter can continue to play Lacrosse without fear that the ball will stop working, perhaps causing injury.

Yet again, it is the liberals and communists who are responsible for this discovery rubbish. I say we must take a stand. I for one will be removing my daughter from the school system. Now she will learn nothing, and remain in her secure innocence where everything works.