RUETERS - WASHINGTON DC- 18 SEPTEMBER 2001

A leak from a well placed military official is that the first strike will be to send our airforce over to carpet bomb the middle-east with T-Shirts. on the front will be 'Yes, I am a Terrorist' and the back will have the Target symbol.

The T-Shirts are part of a bold marketing move by the Target chain of superstores. Target's Director of Marketing said "We looked at the initial numbers for news broadcasts of the attack and they were off the charts. But we also noticed that many stations stopped airing commercials during the crisis. So we decided on a product placement strategy. Even picking up 50% of 9/11's market share will give us exactly the kind of target audience that we're looking for.

When asked about Target's product placement plans leaders of several extremist muslim groups began weeping and prayed to Allah 'When will the devil begin to understand?'

In addition, according to military analysts this will ensure that the troops actually have an enemy to fight against rather than the whole-sale destruction of innocent muslims.

There have also been rumors that because George didnt get his 'rock em sock em robot' set this year that his next target will be Santa Claus, Mr Bush said "Hey, I mobilized the entire army to war against terrorism and we did that really well. Finding Mr Claus isnt going to be that much more difficult" In fact, according to an anonymous source at T-Shirt Design Inc there is a deal already in the works with The Christmas Tree Shoppe chain.

Mr Bush also said "Go back to sleep america, we realize those loud bangs you heard last tuesday may have disturbed your nap, but it's ok. Friends is back on now and our military is going to go to war" America responded with some flag waving and a warm inner calm, knowing the Mr Bush would do everything he could to give the impression he knew what he was doing.

Just keep repeating to yourselves, we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free we are free, we are free we are free we are america we are free

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